This is Not a Contest
by Ninjagirl2211
Summary: Every ninja's got a story—where they came from, how they "began." Few begin happily, and it's no surprise that almost every ninja comes with their own special brand of "crazy." My story began no differently than anyone else's. Okay...so maybe it started off a little worse than that. But the last time I checked, I was pretty sure it wasn't a contest. [18 for disturbing themes]
1. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO RUN

**IMPORTANT: **

**This is a draft and is subject to change. You will be notified in the chapters to come if/when to go back and read said change. Got it? Good. Rest of the A/N is optional, so you can just skip if you want.**

**LESS IMPORTANT (BUT STILL, SORTA IF YOU DON'T WANNA BE SCARRED FOR LIFE):**

**So, this is just something that I had to get out of my system, and seems to be doing so in great quantities, so you can expect updates to be every wednesday. Yes, you heard it here first, Folks. Every. Fucking. Wednesday. Also, it should be noted that this is 18+ in later chapters and readers that are faint of heart should stop right here. In fact, you should leave. NOW. There. That is my official warning. You have been waaaaarned... -ominous note- (seriously)**

**Oh, and I'm only going to do this once:**

**NARUTO IS NOT MINE. **

**(And screw you Kishimoto. There, I said it.)**

* * *

**THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO RUN**

* * *

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuck!" I cursed loudly as I hopped on one foot, pulling my shorts on one leg at a time and gradually making my way over to the door of my apartment. No time to eat. Fuck. Late. Fuck. Araaaagh! Fuck everything!

I bust out the door and down the hall, surprising, and nearly knocking over my curious, dark haired neighbor—most likely due to all the racket and clattering that could sometimes be heard from behind my walls—that I'd never bothered to learn the name of. He'd never bothered to learn mine either, and honestly, that was just fine with me. I didn't get along with people my age. Never had. It just didn't work that way.

But I at least had enough common courtesy to cast a cursory, "Sorry!" over my shoulder at the scowling boy. Grumpy kid. I don't think I'd ever once seen him smile. Kind of creepy, actually...but that was none of my business, and I didn't really have a lot of room to talk. Nor did I have the time.

"I'm here!" I held both my arms up in a 'ta da' gesture as I burst through the door.

The matron sent me a dry look and replied, "Congratulations...you're late, Yuka."

"I _know_ that," I huffed, dragging my feet as I plodded across the floor to collapse in the chair in front of her desk temperamentally. In my orphanage days, the chair had been a sacred sort of place. Kind of like the feeling you'd get from a sacrificial altar. It was the chair you either got adopted in, or received punishment in. Neither one was particularly pleasant. I mean, adoption... Maybe it was the stuff of dreams for other kids, but for me... I didn't like to think about it. As for punishments, I'd been there just about as many times as Naruto had been back in the days before he got himself kicked out. I almost felt a little sorry for him, but he sort of brought it on himself. And that's how I got the genius idea of joining the academy.

They practically paid you to become a ninja—and it had an _amazing_ benefits program for orphans. Three guesses why... In any case, that's how I got my first apartment. But as for becoming a ninja, I was even more abysmal at it than Naruto. And unlike him, I just didn't care enough to keep trying. He got pissed at me when I left after a year. I think he saw me as a sort of comrade in failure or something of that ilk. But unlike him, I wasn't completely sucked in by the ninja art of brainwashing. I'd only ever been at the academy for one purpose, and one purpose only. And that was to use academy student financial aid until such time I got a good enough job to pay for my gift apartment all on my own. I was quite proud of my achievement.

And I was still paying back debt at age twelve, but happily, I was almost scot free. Whenever I went in for job interviews and retold the story, I think people were either kind of impressed with me, or plainly shocked at the gall it took to manipulate the system in such ways. As far as I was concerned, the academy could suck it. I could manage just fine without being a ninja, thank you very much. And it was this self reliant attitude that earned me most of my jobs. The only charity I accepted now was from the matron, who knew me well enough to disguise it as a work opportunity.

"We missed you today at breakfast," she informed me without expression. "I had Mika cover for you, but the children were disappointed at the absence of your famous 'cinnamon buns.' I expect you to make it up to them."

I let out a sigh. "Crap..."

I started to run through my list of excuses, but really, besides the truth—which I refused to admit, especially to someone who knew me as well as the matron did—there wasn't much I could get passed her. She was one of those no bullshitting types. And it was with the blank, no bullshitting face that she told me, "They're out in the yard right now. Go see if you can make yourself useful."

Another sigh, and, realizing there was no way I could win here, I replied with a defeated, "Okay..."

But honestly, I have to say, though I didn't get along well with kids my age, the younger ones made excellent little minions. Not to mention, they were easy to throw around. And the best part is that they just got right back up and threw themselves at you again with a smile on their faces. It was kind of funny. It made me laugh at least. And when you laughed, they laughed.

"Alright brats!" I hollered. "Line up!" There was a struggle and a clamor as the tiny midgets complied—insubordination was not on my list of things that I tolerated. After they all stood at attention, I calmly walked to the two kids in the middle, a brown haired girl and a green haired boy, and swung my arm down between them in a slicing motion. "Alrighty, Mousy," I gestured to the girl. "You're the leader of the red team."

"M-me?" The bespectacled girl blinked several times.

"Yup," I agreed, then looked at the spiky green haired boy, "Sparky, you're team blue."

He crossed his arms and pouted, "I wanna to be on the red team!"

"Cry me a river," I told him blankly for all the fucks I gave, then hollered, "Team placements are final people! Everyone on Mousy's side, you're team red! Everyone on Sparky's, you're blue! Got it!?"

Then, with my makeshift bat, fashioned from rebar and a piece of scrap metal I found lying around, I drew a large diamond in the dusty play yard. Home base was a broken wheel, first was an old stained mattress I dragged out from the dorms, and second and third were similar items of disrepute—as in, no one would miss them if they got trampled to death. "Kay, folks, team red, you're with me, Sparky, take this—" I handed him the bat, and pointed to the wheel. "Have your lot line up over there. Try not to hit anyone in the face with that. Your job is to hit _this_—" I held up an apple sized festival ball in front of his face, "—as hard as you can without ripping your little arms out of their sockets. Got it?" He looked between it, and the nasty looking rebar club he now had in his hands and grinned. He didn't seem too bothered over the team colors any longer, and scampered off for first base, rounding up his team enthusiastically as he went.

"U-umm...Yuka-nee-san?" Mousy tugged on my sleeve uncertainly. "A-are you sure I'm the right person for this game?"

I considered her for a second, then questioned, "You like playing shougi, right Mii-chan?" She nodded hesitantly, and I continued, "Plus, you know everyone here pretty well, right? You watch people, and know their strengths. That makes you perfect for this game." I pointed out left and right field, explaining the rules loudly for everyone to hear, then returned to the girl. "Now, can you name everyone who's left handed?"

Mii blinked her magnified eyes again, and nodded. "Shinji and Misaki. They're both on the blue team though..."

"Alright. Here's how it works. When those two come up to bat, the ball is going to fly into the left field because they're left handed. But since most people are right handed, it's mostly going to fly into the right field. So, unless those two are batting you're going to want your strongest players to be in right field—just have them switch over when either Shinji or Misaki come up, you don't want any surprises there—and center field has the most ground to cover, so you want your fastest players there. Plus you've got a cutthroat shouji strategy, so I'm sure that'll help you out even more. You're calling the shots here, Kid. You can do it. Just imagine you're standing on a board."

Comprehension dawned on her and she nodded. "O-okay! I'll try my best!"

"Good luck then," I nodded back, then hollered, "Alright, places people! Everyone get where you're supposed to be! I'm pitching, cause I don't trust any of you nose wipers as far as I can throw you!" Which was actually pretty far. It was the only thing I was ever good at in the academy. Aim, shoot, fire. _That_, I could do in my sleep.

Sparky ended up being the most aggressive player on the field, while Mii showed her true stripes when she displayed a surprising efficiency in fighting dirty. Their teams followed suit, but when it came down to a winner...yeah, Mii's strategy was pretty scary. I ended up having to patch up most of blue team in the infirmary, and it wasn't even lunch time yet. Wait. Lunch. Oh, shit, I was going to be late again!

"Bye! Byeeee!" the kids waved and shouted as they stood at the gates of the orphanage play yard, crowded around the matron who had this strange little smile on her face as she watched me high tail it out of there, shaking kids off my legs.

"Yeah, yeah, stay frosty!" I shouted back, and hollered over my shoulder, "Oi, Sparky! Try not to hit yourself in the head with the bat again! Keep your eye on the ball next time!"

The kid with the bandaged head shouted some choice curses at me, but I didn't catch it as I rounded the corner, booking it to the bakery. It was amazing that I actually managed to get there on time, but I nearly ran into my neighbor again, this time having to make windmills with my arms and skidding to the left to avoid flattening him. Unfortunately, he was with his team, and I actually did end up trampling Naruto in order to miss him. I actually sort of felt sorry for my guy, now. No wonder he was always so grumpy. Naruto could make anyone have a brain hemorrhage.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I finally got through the door, and smiled when I breathed in the heavenly smell of fresh baked bread. I closed my eyes and followed the scent like a hypnotized victim. People said that I had talent in the culinary field, but _Hanako_ could do magic. She could be annoying, but she was also practically the only person in Konoha I gave a crap about. Plus, she'd been friends with my parents at one point...so yeah.

"Cuttin' it a little close there, huh?" She laughed as she removed a pan of loafs from the brick oven.

I rolled my eyes. "People are always getting in my way."

"Ya ever think you don't take enough time to look where you're going first? I've lost more merchandise than I can count from you trippin' all over the place." She shook her head with a smile.

Cringing slightly, I shrugged. "There's a reason I dropped out of the academy, you know. I'm about as coordinated as a rock. You knew this when you hired me."

"I hired ya 'cause you're a damn good pastry chef," she grinned at me with a shrug of her own, "and I gain more than I lose by teaching you. Maybe I can even retire one day, and you can take over here. What d'ya say?"

"No way. You already know, the first chance I get, I'm getting the hell out of this place," I grumbled at her as I tied on my apron and restrained the unruly mint green curtain that was my hair.

She sent me a wry smirk. "Ya never know...you might just find someone ya like one day. Settle down, have a few kids..."

I rounded on her and gave her a disgusted look. "Ugh!? _Why_? Why even bring that repulsive image up in my head?! Me? Settle down? Never!"

"Like I said..." She sang, twirling away with her loafs and pinching my nose teasingly as she went, "ya never knooooow..."

I rubbed my nose grudgingly, then stopped, looking down at my hand with a sigh. Now I had to wash them again. I was a bit of a clean freak when it came to baking. Who wants to eat something made by someone who just rubbed their snotty nose? Certainly not me. Made me shiver just as much as getting married and settling down in the future did. And even if it happened, hell, it wouldn't be in Konoha... All this place was to me was just a bad memory everywhere I looked...

I was just taking the anpan out when the front door slammed open and when I looked up, I groaned, "Oh great. What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

"You knocked me over, remember?!" The orange menace shouted, pointing his finger at me. "Apologize!"

I sent him a dry look, placing the anpan on the display shelves slowly as I replied with an affirmative, "...I decline."

"Why youuuu!" He looked about ready to pounce over the counter and give me an old fashioned beat down like I used to give him every time he pissed me off, but it was just my luck a girl about our age came in and beat him to the punch.

"NARUTO!" She slammed her fist into his head and the blond crumpled to the floor like a sack of potatoes, clutching his cranium. "You can't just come in and threaten people! What the hell is your problem!?" It was only during her mini rant that I noticed the poor son of a bitch she was dragging behind her.

"Oh," I stared. "It's you." I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly as he fixed me with a dark glare. "Uh, hey, sorry for this morning...and earlier...and all the other times too, actually..." Various recollections of nearly mowing him down in the hall on multiple other occasions vaguely began to surface in my mind.

I swear, I think his eye twitched as he grumbled out, "You need to watch where you're _going_..."

"You know what, Bastard?" Naruto hopped back up as if the monster hit he'd just taken from the girl hadn't even phased him. "For once, I actually agree with you! And _you_! Quitter!" He rounded back on me. "Why the hell are you apologizing to _him_!? _I'm_ the one you ran over!"

I winced as his shrill voice pierced my eardrums and shook my head. "You know what? You're right. Here. Take this." I handed out three good sized anpan loafs to each of them. "My gift to you. On the house."

It shut Naruto up in no time, the girl accepted hers politely and with an apology of her own for Naruto the 'special' ninja, but when it came to the third one, my neighbor, he just stared at the offering like it was sludge. His eyes then flicked back to me and he mumbled, "I don't like sweet things."

I could feel the faint furrow lines between my brows becoming more pronounced as I glared back at him, not retracting my offering and letting out a warning growl. The message was clear. _I don't give a shit about your likes and dislikes. Just take it, and get the fuck out. Take the orange one with you._

This is why I did not get along with people my age. Or much of anyone really.

After a long stare down, in which I did not blink, nor did I relent on the anpan, he seemed to get the picture, and grabbed the bun disdainfully with a grunted, "Let's go," to his companions. He seemed to be the leader of the sorry crew, though Naruto glared at him like he was some sort of dark evil overlord or something. Their exit, however, was blocked by a tall, silver haired man with a hitai-ate for an eyepatch. _Ninja not pirate_, I reminded myself. _That's important_.

"So this is where my cute little students have snuck off to." He remarked dryly, his visible eye—the only visible part of his face, really—casting around the establishment with no small amount of disinterest.

"So these are your kids, eh, Kakashi?" Hanako slunk out from the back tossing a good sized hunk of dough between one flour dusted hand to the other. She sent me the evil eye and questioned, "Givin' away merchandise, are we, Yuka?" I sent her a long suffering stare and gestured to Naruto wordlessly. Taking in the implications of that, she shook her head and laughed. "You really need to work on your people skills."

"I don't get paid for that." I pointed out.

"You will if ya want that raise you've been bugging me about."

I stormed quietly to myself.

"I see you've taken on a student as well." The man called Kakashi leaned against the counter towards Hanako. "That's unlike you."

She raised a brow in reply, slapping the kneaded dough down on the back counter and folding her arms over her chest, "Look who's talkin', Mr. Straight-laced. I thought you hated kids."

"Not so," He protested. "It's only the especially stupid ones I can't stand."

I sent him on odd look and pointed out Naruto. "Then why is _he_ on your team?"

"Oh yeah!?" He exploded at me, "That's rich coming from a quitter like you! At least _I_ graduated!"

I scowled at him. "For the _last_ freaking time, _graduating_ was never the goal for me. I learned my times tables, and how to throw a weapon without poking my eye out—unlike _some_ people—and then I decided that being a genin doesn't pay as well as the job I've got now. So the choice was simple, really. I make more in one week than _you_ can make in an entire _month_. You can't argue with facts."

Naruto looked like he was about to rage at me again about quitting and giving up, but Kakashi spoke first. "That _is_ true... Genin work in teams, and have to split the mission pay with the entire unit, however, if you really applied yourself, you could make jounin like me, and I can make more in _one day_ than you can make in a year." His eye crinkled at me happily, and I stared at him with a clenched jaw.

After a long, tense moment, I let my jaw relax. He was right, after all. But I told him frankly, "Let's just be honest here. Someone like me would never make jounin, even if I _wanted_ to give up my freedom to go anywhere I please and tie myself down to a village that let my parents _die_."

"Yuka," Hanako reprimanded firmly, her voice wiped clean of her usual unidentifiable accent as it usually was when pressed. "Watch your mouth. It's going to get you into a lot of trouble someday if you're not careful."

"It's not your job to worry about me... Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to work. " I mumbled without apology, turning to put the rest of the anpan in the display case, and relaying insincerely to the dark haired one without looking up, "Nice talking to you, Neighbor. I'll try not to knock you over the next time I'm running late. Enjoy the sweet stuff. Maybe it'll wipe that awful look off your face. You might actually be easy on the eyes if you smiled every once and a while."

"That was actually a complement," Hanako told the boy gently. "Yuka is harsh with her words, but she means well..."

"I could care less." He replied, aiming one last unpleasant face at me before turning on his heel and heading towards the door. "I'm leaving, with or without you guys."

The pink haired girl who looked like she'd been about to shout at me for a second turned to run after him, "Sasuke-kun! Wait for me!"

"S-sakura-chan!" Naruto looked nervous about letting the two of them be alone, then aimed one last glare at me, "This ain't over, Quitter! I'll be back!"

He was out the door before I could profess my enthusiasm on that point.

Hanako looked thoughtful though and stared out the door after them before glancing back at Kakashi with intrigue, "Naruto and _Uchiha_ Sasuke, eh? Which one of the higher ups did _you_ piss off?"

The man seemed to sag slightly and he sighed, "I have no idea..."

"Listening to adults complain is annoying," I remarked idly, my concentration only half on what they were saying and the other half on icing a cupcake.

After a moment of silence, Kakashi told Hanako, "Looks like you've got your work cut out for you as well."

She smiled at him. "You have _no_ idea."

He bought some dango before he left—something about heading down to T&I and someone named Anko being more merciful with the stuff in her system. The rest of the day was fairly busy, with no time to even get a word in edgewise between the two of us. While Hanako stood upfront and kept the customers happy, I was in back, up to my elbows in rice flour. It was a long day, but it was work. Work meant business and any business was good business in my opinion. I got paid by the hour, after all, and the more the hours stacked up, the happier and more financially secure I would be. In theory, anyway.

"Ya know, that kid..." Hanako said slyly to me as we were cleaning up for the day. "The one you called easy on the eyes? He's your neighbor?"

"Don't put words in my mouth." I huffed wiping down the counter aggressively with a hole-ridden cloth. "I said he _might_ be easy on the eyes _if_ he smiled. And he never smiles... It's always like his face is stuck in this same constipated expression—"

"You sure seem to notice a lot about him..." she hummed with a smile playing around her lips.

I stopped in the motion of scrubbing at a sticky spot and pegged her with a look. "Don't go there. I don't even know the guy's name. He's just my stupid, stuck up neighbor. That's it."

She 'hmm'ed and the smile faded a bit when she mentioned subtly, "Ya ever notice that his parents never seem to be home...?"

I paused again, and stared at her. "...How do you know something like that?"

Hanako smiled sadly at me. "The first step to honing your people skills is to _listen_. A good neighbor should know their own neighbors' names..."

I frowned at her, the lines between my brows creasing somewhat in frustration. "Does this have something to do with my raise?"

"Probably..." she hummed dubiously.

Frowning further, I sighed and asked grudgingly, "...Fine. What's his name?"

"If you were _listening_, ya would'a already known, Silly," She reached as if to pinch my nose, but I slapped her hand away with a warning look—the same no bullshit face the matron sometimes gave me—and she relented with a sigh, her accent fading once more, "That boy is _Uchiha_ Sasuke. You _are_ aware of what that means, are you not?"

Comprehension dawned on me with a flash of blood, falling bodies, monochrome with a red sky overhead, and I closed my eyes shut tightly to rid my head of the nightmare images that haunted my sleep. It took a good amount of effort to will it away, but when I did I opened my eyes to reveal the dull, lusterless green pools within and replied, "Yes... Yes, I know what that means." Only too well. I'd forgotten what he was supposed to look like.

"The two of you might be more similar than you think..." Hanako murmured thoughtfully, then, as if deciding something, her accent reverted and she said, "Here's the deal. You make friends with that boy and I'll give ya your raise. Yes?"

"_What_?!" I stared at her incredulously. "That's not fair, Hanako-sensei!"

"Life's not fair. That's the deal, so go _deal_ with it. Get it done Yuka, I mean it." She crossed her arms over her chest firmly, "Now go home and get some sleep. Those dark circles under your eyes are starting to worry me."

I looked down at the floor and mumbled, "It's not your job to worry about me..."

"I know. Ya already said that," she agreed. "But who else is gonna do it?"

That night, I headed home with a heavy heart. This was not going to be easy. On one hand, I really, _really_ wanted my raise...on the other... Well...there was another reason entirely that I had avoided contact with my elusive neighbor that had nothing to do with the fact that he was a giant raging dick. It was the same reason I avoided Naruto, and relatively anyone else who made an appearance in my nightmares, actually. I didn't know why I had them, but they started as soon as I met the crazy blond idiot.

I probably had a mental breakdown somewhere along the way, but back then they were just dreams. Scary, horrible, awful dreams, but dreams, nonetheless. But then came the year of my eighth birthday. That was the year I decided to join the academy with Naruto who'd recently gotten thrown out on his ass for rigging the matron's office up with explosive paint bombs. I sort of had a grudging respect for him after that. And maybe that's why I followed his example. That was also the year that I first met Sasuke. That was also the year of the famous Uchiha Massacre...exactly as I had seen in my _dreams_.

I dropped out of the academy the day after. I wanted nothing to do with any of it anymore. My dream had come _true_. What the hell was I supposed to make of that? Some poor kid's family got massacred right in front of him, and I had _known_ about it. The thought of 'what if?' boggled me every time I had another nightmare. I contemplated going to the Hokage after I saw him die—some crazy fucking snake guy with a gross tongue did him in—but I knew exactly what would happen to me if I did something like that. And exactly what reason did I have to warn him, anyway? My parents were dead, and it was all because they came here. To Konoha. Lets just say customs is a little...overkill. But it's not like Kusa—or anyplace else at all, really—was any different... The entire word was screwed up...

But then, if I believed that, what was I even doing? Wouldn't it just be easier to stay in one place if they were all screwed up anyway? The answer to that was _no_. That was what I firmly believed. Konoha may have been nice to look at from an outsider's point of view, a nice concept, but I knew the truth. It was rotten at its very _roots_...

And it was with these heavy thoughts in mind that I found myself staring a hole into one Uchiha Sasuke's apartment door in indecision. I didn't want to get involved. That was my policy when dealing with these things. With Naruto, it had been different. At the orphanage, we'd pretty much been forced together by our general awkwardness around other people. And, since I grudgingly respected his audacity, I followed him. But then the massacre happened and I realized everything in my dreams was true. I tried to deny it. I tried to push it away, and collapse it into a little drawer into the back of my head. Most of the time I even forgot it was there. But the truth was, if I continued to follow him, it was no doubt I'd probably end up dead, or worse. And Sasuke...well he was probably all under the category of 'worse.'

I did _not_ want to be involved with him. Period. But the one thing I wanted more than anything else in the world was to get out of this village. The only way I could do that was by making enough money to set up living arrangements elsewhere. Preferably, very, _very_ far away in a far corner of the world where no ninja could ever find me. Maybe a deep dark cave, if worse came to worse...

I needed my raise. I needed to avoid people in my nightmares. What the hell was I supposed to do?

"What are you doing?"

I jumped as I was brutally surfaced from my turbulent thoughts and rounded to find the dilemma himself staring me surlily in the face. But in my surprise, I could only respond by unintelligently turning the question around on him. "What are _you_ doing?"

"...Trying to get to my apartment," he answered, shooting me an odd look. "You're in the way. Move."

"Well," I spoke with more poise. "This is ironic. Since you're usually the one who's getting in _my_ way..."

"I don't have any taste for irony."

"Or sweet things." I remembered, crossing my arms and fixing him with a stern look. "What'd you end up doing with that anpan I gave you anyway? I bet you just threw it in the trash. That's wasteful, you know."

"You're annoying," he grumbled. But as my stink eye intensified, he sighed. "I gave it to someone else."

"Yeah right, like I'll believe that crap," I shot back. "What'd you eat then?"

"Nothing." He narrowed his eyes defensively. "No time. Training."

It was at that point that a questionable stench rose to my nostrils and I had to acquiesce, "Can't argue with that. You stink."

"You're covered in pastry gunk," he countered.

He was right. I think I even had dough stuck in my hair. I needed to do something about that sooner rather than later. And for some reason, I couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious. I edged around him carefully—the lesson of never turn your back on your enemy being one that stuck from my academy days—and felt out the handle to my apartment door, shouting defensively, "At least I still smell nice!" before slipping inside and slamming the door on him. See if I'd let him get the last word...

What a dick.

My stomach growled and I remembered that I hadn't eaten anything all day. And with that, I just started cooking. I probably made more than I should've too... Whenever I was hungry, I always felt like I wanted to eat a cow. Probably because I always waited too long between meals. In any case, it gave me a bit of an impaired judgement whenever I was gauging portion sizes... I shook my head at the ridiculous amount of food left over, just asking myself why. I supposed I could always eat it anyway, because I was somewhat of a bottomless pit when it came to food, even when I was full, but it seemed wasteful...

Then I stopped and listened to the silence coming from next door. I never heard the hum from his stove. Ever. Knowing his situation, he probably never even learned how to use one... I mean, yay for microwavables and stuff but that's just...a little bit sad actually. The only reason I knew how to cook is because I hid out in the kitchens at the orphanage to try and get away from Naruto. And for some reason...I also had dreams about cooking. Don't ask me why. But in any case, it's usually something your parents teach you... I frowned. My parents had never taught me.

With that, before I could talk myself out of toying with something really dangerous, I packed up the extras, stuck a sticky note to the top of it, '_The truth is I don't like sweet things either,_' deposited them outside his door, gave a jerky knock, then quickly disappeared back inside, listening carefully. I heard his door open...a long silence...and then I heard it close. Carefully, I opened my own door a crack and peaked out into the hall. The containers were nowhere to be found. Unconsciously, I felt a smile curl at my lips and I thought vaguely to myself, _Maybe this raise thing won't be so hard after all_...


	2. WHEN YOU TRY TO MAKE FRIENDS

**THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO MAKE FRIENDS**

* * *

That night, the usual nightmares kept me up. I eventually just _stayed_ up until my alarm clock started buzzing. Sometimes it was easier this way. Because when I _did_ actually sleep, it was always like trying to come back from the dead. This often made me flat out ignore the alarm clock in favor for just a few more minutes...in consequence...lateness and rushing, and running into sleepy, grumpy mini-ninjas ensued. Of course, the consequences of staying up all night aren't exactly any better. When the alarm clock went off, I jerked out of my blank eyed daze—well, maybe not completely, judging by what happened next—the blanket around my shoulders slipping off and the cold morning air sending a chill through me. Of course, since my mind was moving slowly enough, the buzzing sent me into a flurry of movement as my normal morning routine kicked in—and that was moving like there was a demon fox on my ass.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuck!" I cursed, hopping into my shorts one leg at a time and heading for the door. Having shoved my boots on, I then took off at a flying run, tearing the door open and—promptly took a face plant as it would seem... There was a long awkward silence afterwards until I slowly raised my head with a pitiful groan to pinpoint what I could've possibly tripped over, and spotted the now scattered containers I'd left in front of Sasuke's door the night before, completely cleaned out. No doubt they'd been stacked perfectly neatly right in front of my door before I'd gone and took my flying leap... How nice of him.

Unsteadily, I made the painful transition back to my feet to see the culprit staring at me, one foot hovering above the first stair down the complex building. When our eyes met, all he did was arch his brow at me. Raising my finger at him in warning, I spoke in a serious voice, "...You saw _nothing_."

He didn't answer for a long time, until finally, he spoke slowly. "Believe me. Nobody wishes that more than I do right now..."

I gave him an exasperated look, shaking my head in frustration, then shot at him, "Why are you _always_ out here when I wake up anyway? Are our alarm clocks synchronized or something?"

"I don't need one." He told me in explanation. "You make enough noise in the morning that I decided against wasting the money."

"...I honestly can't tell if you're serious or just fucking with me."

Another raised eyebrow in response, then he turned and began descending the stairs with a careless, "Believe whatever you want. It's not my problem."

I hesitated before following him, but thought of my raise, and forced myself to move my feet until we were exiting the building side by side. And tactically, I questioned him. "Where are you going?"

"You're nosy," he noted.

"I'm also very stubborn when I want something," I hinted, my stare intensifying.

He turned his head to face it head on and he tried again. "You're annoying."

"We've already established this," I agreed. "We've also established that it won't stop until I get what I want."

He scowled at me and snapped, "What _do_ you want?"

"Where are you going?" I asked again.

"Why should I tell you?" he countered.

"What's the worst that could happen if you do? It's not like your head is going to explode, or something..." I argued.

"You could _follow_ me there," he said pointedly, getting more annoyed as the conversation persisted.

At which I pointed out, "I'm _already_ following you...but I promise to stop if you tell me where you're going. I've got better places to be anyway."

"Then _why_ do you want to know?" Stubborn dick...

"I was simply curious, since we seem to be headed in the same direction."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"Believe what you want." I shrugged. "How's this, _I'm_ headed to the orphanage to make cinnamon buns for the brats. And you are...?"

He sent me an odd look. "What are cinnamon buns?"

"If you really want to know, you can come with and find out," I offered.

"I have training to get to," he grumbled.

"Aha! So _that's_ where you're going. I knew it." I nodded sagely as he shot me a glare. "You know, I honestly felt a little sorry for you when I saw Naruto was on your team. He knows how to give anyone a headache. And that girl seems to be just as effective at it." I shivered as I remembered the fist she slammed into Naruto's noggin. "She's a sort of scary, that one, isn't she? At least she seems to like you."

"...You talk too much," he grumbled. But the way he said it made me think I'd hit the nail right on the head anyways. "What do you care about any of it in the first place? You're not a ninja. Why are you suddenly so interested?"

"Well, Naruto and I sort of grew up together in the orphanage. He was there before I was though, so I don't think he ever knew his parents... It's kind of sad, don't you think? To not even remember what they were like..." A picture of a red haired woman and a fair featured blonde flashed behind my eyes and I looked over to see a sort of...hollowed out one in his, then I murmured, "I've got a couple crazy theories you might find interesting though..."

"Then why don't you stop bugging me, and tell him?" he asked pointedly.

I shrugged. "We grew apart after I quit the academy. Plus, I think it might freak him out a little..."

He eyed me darkly for a long moment, then replied reluctantly, "...I'm listening."

"Well, you know the nine tails attacked twelve years ago, right? ...Guess when Naruto's birthday is." If I hadn't had his attention before, I certainly had it now. "It could be a coincidence but..."

"Coincidences don't exist," he stated plainly.

"My thoughts exactly," I agreed, then pointed out, "Also, you ever wondered why practically the entire village treats him like a pariah? And don't say it's the pranks, because I knew him before he started all that shit, and it was the same then as it is now... Then there's the big fucking elephant in the room—or rather a _demon fox_...where the hell do you suppose they _put_ the damn thing?"

He sent me a searching look. "Probably some sort of advanced sealing technique—"

"Sealed into what?" I interrupted pointedly. "...or _who_?" His eyes widened a fraction of an inch. I then went on to say, "You probably don't remember this—hell, _I_ barely even remember it—but the three of us were in the same class at the academy the year I quit, and we had that stupid history project we had to present with research and all that good shit... Well, mine was on the tailed beasts. Cause, I mean, come on, what's more interesting than sentient giant chakra monsters through the ages, man?" I chuckled humorlessly, "Well, let's just say I found out quite a bit more than I was expecting... You ever hear of the term 'Jinchuriki'?" At his insistent stare and lack of response, I decided to fill him in. "That's what the _human_ container of a tailed beast is called... And that's just scratching the surface. The chunin who guards the restricted section in the library is surprisingly easy to sneak past if you're really determined. Oh, I got full marks on that project, in case you were wondering." I smirked darkly as I hammered my point home, "But Iruka-sensei wouldn't let me present to the class...and _confiscated_ it as soon as he took two looks at it without any explanation. Never saw or heard from the thing again."

"...That doesn't prove anything," Sasuke pointed out after a long moment of thought.

"Oh, I think it proves a lot..." I begged to differ, and went on, "That's not the only thing I found out in the restricted section either... It's really not that hard to figure out if you dig down deep enough. Since the beginning, when the village captured all the tailed beasts, they passed them out to the other villages to keep the balance of power and stop war. A nice gesture and all, but it obviously didn't work out the way they wanted it to..." I scoffed softly shaking my head. "In any case, Konoha has always had the nine tails. They used Jinchuriki to keep it under wraps and under control, and the host has always, _always_, been of _Uzumaki_ descent." And with that, I believed the point had finally sunk in. "Try to argue with that. If you don't believe me," I flicked his head band, making the metal 'ting', "you don't even need to sneak past the guard to get into the restricted section anymore, ninja boy."

We stopped in front of the orphanage. Despite the fact that we'd passed the path to the training grounds some time ago, it seemed Sasuke was the one that ended up following me instead of it being the other way around. I didn't feel the need to point that out, however, as he spoke softly, "...Do you think he knows?"

It was a complicated question, so I thought about it for a long moment before answering. "...On some level, yes. I think he knows that he's different from everyone else. It took me a long time to understand him. And I still think he's an annoying idiot...but I get it. And as for the long term implications of the condition...I don't think he has a clue." I stared at him meaningfully. "You also said there are no such thing as coincidences... Do you think the fact that you two were put on the same team was a coincidence? You know the one thing besides the Senju wood release that was said to control the tailed beasts was the Sharingan of the Uchiha?" I tilted my head and concluded. "I don't believe in coincidences either. And if you think _Naruto_ is the worst of Konoha's dirty laundry...you better think again."

"...What's that supposed to mean?"

"People who come here _die_...that's what it means," I scoffed. "And they wonder why I want to leave. It's too late for _you_ now." I flicked his headband again. "You've already been _sucked_ in, like a big, giant _sucker—_"

I'd been aiming another flick for his headband, but he grabbed my wrist tightly. "Stop _doing_ that."

Something in his voice made me pause, and an image of an older boy poking a younger Sasuke in the head flashed through my memories briefly. After a moment, my wrist started to hurt, and I forced my voice to remain calm as I agreed. "Okay. Would you please let go now? Ninja strength kind of hurts."

He seemed to snap out of whatever haze he was in, and let go of me as if he'd been shocked. There was no apology, but he took a step back from me with an uneasy expression on his face. Close enough. He shook his head. "Why should I believe any of this?"

"You shouldn't," I told him. "In fact, I'd call you stupid if you did. Like I said, go do your own research. Who knows," I shrugged. "you might find something I didn't... Just be careful no one finds you snooping around where you shouldn't be." I lowered my voice. "You never know when some ass hat might flip out and cause a massacre around here..." What can I say? I was vindictive. And as he stared at me, stunned, I looked down at my watch with a sigh. "Oh look, I'm probably going to be late again. No point in hurrying anymore, I guess." I turned on my heel and began walking at a leisurely pace towards the orphanage, but I didn't forget to wave and call cheerfully back over my shoulder, "Have fun training! Say 'hi' to Naruto for me and I'll save a cinnamon bun for you!"

One mind successfully blown in the short period of one morning...check. I think my job here was complete.

"I see you've made a friend," the matron observed, her hands knitted at her waist as I ambled over to the gates.

"Possibly." I shrugged. Though I hardly suspected that was anything _close_ to what you'd categorize us as... Maybe research buddies at best if my hunch was correct. Still, it should be enough to convince Hanako that _someone_ needed a raise...

"Well, in that case, I suppose I can excuse your tardiness just this once," The ghost of a smile played at her lips. "Get to work."

I saluted her and marched off towards the kitchens. "Ma'am, yes _Ma'am._.."

If I thought baseball with cutthroat shougi strategy was eventful, it wasn't until I saw it with kids on a sugar high that I truly comprehended the idea of complete, utter chaos. Sparky's team won this time around, and I was patching up both blue _and_ red in the infirmary.

"Nice one, Kid." I ruffled the boy's green hair. "Mii-chan never saw the ball heading over into the Inuzuka compound coming. That said, _never_ do that again. Someone might actually get eaten. And I don't see us getting our ball back any time soon..." I paused and added, "That said...seriously, don't go anywhere near that place. _Ever._ Those ninken are no joke."

Sparky pouted, and I glared at him until he gave up. "_Fine._.." I looked down at my watch again with a sigh. Sparky eyed me curiously and asked, "Are you late again?"

"Close to it, yeah. I'm out. Be good. Keep an eye on Mii-chan. It's not good to fall asleep with that big a bump on your head."

I arrived at the bakery in a rush, and, for a change, this time I was the one nearly getting ran over. A shady guy bolted through the back door, pushing hurriedly past me without apology, sending back a wary glance in my direction, but then he hurried the hell out of there. Bizzare. Nobody used the back door but me and Hanako. And, with horror filled thoughts about the place getting robbed, I flung open the door and ran straight to Hanako...who was calmly stirring something in a mixing bowl with that same gentle, closelipped smile of hers.

But I still wasn't convinced just yet, and I shot at her, "Are you okay? Who was that guy?"

"I'm fine." She blinked, the picture of utter confusion. "What guy?"

I narrowed my eyes at her suspiciously. "...I'm going back to check the inventory. There's something fishy going on here."

"So," Hanako smiled at me as I returned tying on my work bandana. "any progress?"

"Not sure." I craned my neck to look out the front window at a suspicious flash of orange. "We may soon find out though..."

The bell on the door nearly flew off as Naruto slammed it open, "Told you I'd be back, Quitter!"

"...Please excuse me while I find a container for my joy." I sighed, dragging myself up to the counter. "What do you want, Twerp? Make it quick. I don't have time for you. I've got work to do." I paused, looking around for the other two, and raised my brow, "And aren't you supposed be off...you know, doing ninja things with your happy little band of ninja pals?"

"It's just stupid D-rank missions," he pouted like Sparky the eight-year-old. "A cool ninja like me doesn't have time for painting fences or weeding lawns—"

"_Oh_, you have my _total_ sympathy, Great One," I cut him off insincerely. "After all, it's not like a cool ninja like you needs to pay rent or anything..." He winced and I cut to the chaise, "Why are you here, Naruto? If you wanted to catch up on old times, I'm seriously not in the mood—"

"I think that's a great idea!" Hanako cut in happily. "Yuka, you've got the rest of the day off. Have fun."

I openly gaped at her. "You can't be seriou—gah! Shit, Naruto! I don't—OW!"

"Let's go, Yuka-chan!"

"Don't call me that, dammit—LET—GO—" In desperation I called out, "Hanako-sensei!" But at the peaceful smiling look on her face, I realized I would receive no sympathy from her and finally just shouted, "You're evil!" at the top of my lungs as Naruto dragged me out the door, still in my apron and bandana.

She waved her fingers cheerfully at us and hummed, "I've been called worse..."

That didn't make me feel any better.

Finally, since Naruto had obviously gotten a lot stronger since our last tussle, I had to give up. "I hate you..."

"No you don't."

"Yeah. I really do."

"Not like everyone else does."

I closed my eyes briefly in frustration and replied sarcastically, "Yes. That's right. I hate you in my own 'special' little way. _That's exactly why I've been avoiding you for years!_" He stopped suddenly and rounded on me. That look...the searching one he gave me with those eyes. It made me feel pinned down. Held accountable. I hated it. I had to say something. "...Look. That was a lie, okay? I'm sorry. I'm just...I can't be friends with you. Not like before, not ever. I don't...hate you. But that's just the way it is."

"...Quitter." He glared at me. "You always give up, Yuka-chan. You don't fight for anything or anyone. I might not understand a lot of things, but I know what it's like to be alone... What I don't get is why you _stay_ like that."

Scowling back at him, I growled, "You're right. You don't understand _anything_. How could you understand what it's like to lose something? You were alone from the start!" Ignoring his stricken expression and the echo in my head of similar words over the roar of a waterfall, I snapped. "You don't get it do you? I'm different from you! I _like_ being alone. When I'm alone...I can't be hurt by anything." I took a deep breath, and recited, "The moment you love something...the world has something to use against you."

After a long moment he replied, "...Maybe you're right about that." But then he stared me hard in the eye and said. "But I think you're a liar. I don't think you really like being alone at all..."

I stared back at him until I couldn't anymore and I had to look up to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. "Just...please stop talking, okay?"

Thankfully. He did just that.

Later, after he somehow talked me into buying his ramen, I reminded him, "You know, this doesn't magically make us friends again. Nothing's changed."

"I know," He said through a mouthful of noodles, swallowed, then grinned, "That's why you're going to come train with me every day from now on! Just like before!"

I gaped at him. "Did you not understand what I just said? When exactly did I decide to do this? I don't have time for that!" Especially not with weirdass creeps hanging around at Hanako's place.

"I'll _make_ time!" He slapped his hand down on the counter for emphasis. "Besides, that Hanako lady seemed really—"

"_Evil_." I supplied. "She's evil. And don't you _dare_ think I'm going to be giving up any of my hard earned hours just to go off and play ninja with you!"

"We'll see," hummed.

I didn't like the sound of that.

And, what's worse, when I got back to the apartment, tall, dark, and gloomy was waiting for me. I sighed, with a slightly bitter smirk pulling at my lips. "Guess you really wanted that cinnamon bun, huh...?"

"I went to the library."

"Thought you were supposed to be painting fences and pulling weeds with your fellow ninja pals," I noted quietly as I took out my key, walking past him towards my door and unlocking it.

"The idiot took off somewhere. We can't do missions without a four-man cell..." He growled in explanation.

"I may have had something to do with it. He dragged me away from work today to have a heart to heart _chat_... Nearly made me cry... I hate it when he does that. It's actually something he's good at... Making people see the truth about themselves..." I winced, then stopped, shaking my head. Why was I telling him this? I glared at him. "So, what you you want, Punk?"

"I went to the library," he repeated.

"And?" I prompted, leaning against the doorframe. "Find anything interesting?"

"You could say that..."

I shrugged. "I really hope no one saw you. I'm not exactly your biggest fan, but it'd suck if you ended up dead. I hate new neighbors." I opened the door, and sent a pointed look back at him, "Want to come in?"

He stared suspiciously into the dark of my apartment, but at the insistent glance I sent down the hall, and the tap I gave my ear, he complied without a word. I then went about rummaging through the mess to find the object I was looking for and slapped the thing on the wall. I then gestured to him and asked, "Can you activate this thing? My chakra control is shit."

"What is it?" He examined it closely.

"Take a good guess." I shrugged. "I call it the 'better safe than sorry' button. Walls are thin."

With one last wary look he charged up and placed his hand over the rectangular symbol. It glowed blue for a flash, and so did the four walls around us. "Silencing seal. Where'd you get it?"

"Nicked it. Thought it might be useful...and lo and behold..." I grimaced. "This isn't the sort of thing that you just talk about out in the open. Only reason I told you this morning is because nobody but crazy people like us get up that early..." He looked slightly insulted to be included in my definition of crazy, but didn't say anything. I took the moment to make something clear to him. "Forget everything you think you know about this place, Kid. If you keep digging, people can, and _will_ kill you for what you know."

"Then how come they haven't killed _you_ yet?" He countered.

I smirked bitterly. "I'm a nobody. Orphan. Academy dropout. Social recluse. Call me whatever you want. But don't ever say I don't know how to remain under the radar... Until you and your happy band of ninja pals showed up that is..." I sighed. "I guess I couldn't exactly ignore you forever. And now Hanako-sensei says that if I don't become friends with you, I don't get my raise. And if I don't get my raise, I'm sure as hell never getting out of this hell hole."

"So that's what this is about," he scoffed.

"Partially, yes. Something you should know about me if we're going to be research buddies is that I will use any and every resource at hand to get the fuck out of this place. Unless given a proper incentive, if I see my ticket out of here, I'm going to take it. No questions asked. So, if we're going to be 'friends,' it might be smart of you take that into account. It's simple, really." I narrowed my eyes at him, "You make all nice nice in front of Hanako-sensei, and I'll tell you everything I know. Everybody wins."

"If you're expecting me to trust—"

"I'm not," I pointed out. "That's why I told you to do your own research. But there's some stuff research just can't back up. And you _are_ going to need to take my word for it, because I can't possibly explain how I know it without the men in white coats coming down to take me to the funny farm. I don't know if it's some sort of fucked up bloodline limit, or _what_, but the moment I met Naruto, I started to have these freakyass dreams..." I pointed out the dark circles under my eyes bitterly, and went on in an increasingly agitated voice. "I haven't slept well in years. And the day I met you just made everything a hundred times worse. I started having dreams about a certain clan...and woke up screaming after I watched them all get brutally murdered, every—fucking—night. I used to think that's all they were. Nightmares. And then guess what?" I said to his stunned form, and whispered. "I woke up...and the nightmare _came to life_."

The silence in the room was deafening. And it wasn't because of the humming seal on the wall. Eventually I raked my fingers through my hair and turned towards the kitchenette, tension in my every movement. When I was stressed out, I cooked. It calmed me down. It was an island of 'normal' in a sea of chaos. The only good dreams I had were about food. Strange, outlandish food that I got major cravings for, and that I tried to recreate as best as possible with the ingredients at my disposal. At this point, I didn't even care if I had a 'guest' over. I was making fucking pizza.

During the whole time I was working, Sasuke didn't say a single word. He seemed more like the kind where there was more noise inside his head than out, though, so I let him stew in his own juices for a while. But after a while, I felt his eyes boring a hole into the back of my head. And so I tried to figure out a way to present things to him in an easy to understand way that didn't include my crazy prophetic dreams I'd just confessed to him. And it dawned on me that I had just professed my deepest, darkest secret to my messed up neighbor. Honestly...not my first choice in confidantes, but if it meant I'd get my raise, I didn't exactly care.

So after I stuck the pizza in the oven, I rummaged around to find a notebook and a pencil, sat down in front of him, and started drawing. It's a skill I always had, but like the dreams, I had no idea where it came from. After about ten minutes, I ripped out the paper and passed it across the table to him. "This is you, in the future. Not exactly the most practical fashion sense, that one." He stared down at it dubiously as I started on another sketch, this time, of a man in a cloak. After it was finished, I tore it out, and passed it over to line it up with the other one. He noticeably flinched, and instantly reached out to snatch it from me. I let him. And as he raked his eyes over it, a mad sort of feverishness to them, I said needlessly. "This is the one you want to kill..." And then I started on the third and final drawing. It took longer than the other two. And when it was done, his eyes darted to it warily. "_This_..." I told him, meeting his eyes, "is the one you _should_ want to kill..."

"...I have no idea who that is," he admitted.

"You wouldn't," I agreed, but then pointed to the paper still clutched tightly in his hands. "...But _he_ did."

"What does that mean?" he questioned.

"It means..." I told him, pointing to the picture of the bandaged old man, "that this is your next research target. You have access to much greater resources than I do. And if you want to know the truth—the _real_ truth—find out everything you can about Shimura Danzo. But be careful," I warned. "He's not to be trifled with. Don't go asking stupid questions where the wrong sort of people can hear you, and for the love of everything that is good and holy, _don't_ go looking for him. If he suspects you know something, he _will_ kill you without any hesitation...or worse. What he did to Itachi...is worse."

"...You _know_," he realized, then shot at me accusingly, "If you know, then why won't you just _tell_ me?!"

"Because, you said it yourself. How can you prove that anything I'm telling you is the _truth_?" I pointed out. "You're not going to be able to help anything if you can't back this up with cold, hard evidence. And even if you _do_ end up trusting me, like an _idiot_, a bunch of prophetic dreams _still_ aren't going to prove anything to anyone." I stared at him hard. "Here's something to remember: Trust. No one." I paused, rethinking that, "...Except maybe Naruto. And that girl, what was her name? The scary one. Sakura, right? They'll be on your side. Be careful around that teacher of yours though. He might not know everything, but he _is_ a loyal Konoha jounin. You're going to need to give him the evidence you find if you want him as your ally."

He held his head in his hand, the picture of his brother still clenched tightly in the other one. "I don't even know where to start..."

I thought for a moment, tapping my chin and the soft lines between my brows furrowed as I went over the list of things I already knew, then slapped my hand on the table as I exclaimed, "The Uchiha Military Police Force!"

He looked up at me in confusion. "...What?"

"All those records passed to you, didn't they? The case files, and all the information they gathered over the years is confidential clan stuff, isn't it? That's not to say nobody's gotten their claws into it since then, and it might not be completely accurate any longer, but there might be something they missed, so it's still worth a try, right?" I stared at him avidly, "Do you know where those records are stored?"

"...They should still be at the station," he remarked with some bemusement.

"Well then, it's a start." I smiled at him. "I can help if you want."

His eyes were suddenly guarded, "...No."

My smile widened and I told him, "Good call. You're learning." He scoffed at me and shook his head. I took that to mean he didn't approve of my condescending attitude but he couldn't be bothered to confront me about it. Mostly because I was right. But it was at that point that the timer on the oven buzzed at me and I asked him, "Have you eaten yet? I doubt you've ever tried anything quite like this. It's my own personal favorite creation." I grabbed an oven pad and quickly removed the thing before the hot pan could burn me. The waves of heat that still poured out lifted my hair up on the air currents and warmed my face. And of course, I was met with a tantalizing smell that made my stomach growl. After it cooled down a bit I brought the thing over to the table and crossed my arms proudly over my chest.

He stared at it like it might bite him. "...What is _that_?"

I rolled my eyes. Everybody reacted this way. Losing patience, I grabbed myself a slice and said, "Try it, and you'll find out."

Naturally, due to reasons of irony, he ended up eating more than I did and I gave up the last piece without a fight. Afterwards, he left without even a thank you or goodbye, but I figured that's just the way he was. Progress was still progress.

That night, I dreamed of a magical potato sliced up into little fried chunks. I think I knew what my next creation would be.

* * *

**So, as promised: Chapter 2. Wednesday. On time.**

**(This is a little scary for me. Nobody jinx it!)**

**Reviews help a lot. **

**Thanks bunches, or screw you, respectively.**


	3. WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW SOMEONE

**THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW SOMEONE**

* * *

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked pointedly as I eyed the newcomer on the field. He had a wild face with what seemed to be red fang markings on either cheek and a fur lined hoody pulled up over his spiky brown hair. He also had a little dog with him. The guy had Inuzuka written all over him. This was reason enough to make me nervous, but he was also tossing our ball up and down smugly, and that just made me mad.

"Seems like you guys have been trying to get this thing back. It nearly crashed through my bedroom window, you know," he explained with a feral grin that didn't make me feel nice at all.

I sent a furious look at the crowd of kids around me and grated out, "What'd I tell you guys about sneaking into the Inuzuka compound? What part of '_rabid dogs_' and '_eaten_' do you not understand?!"

"But Yuka-nee-chan!" Sparky protested, "If we don't get that ball back, we can't play the game anymore!"

I wanted to pull my hair out. And I had a bit of a funny spasm trying not to, fingers twitching and everything, until finally I just covered my eyes in exasperation. I then turned my attention back to the amused Inuzuka and held my hand out. "Sorry about your window. But to prevent these idiots from stumbling into one of your clan's kennels, could you please just give the damn thing back to them? I don't want to have to beg."

"Sure, I guess," He made to hand the ball back, but jerked it out of my reach as soon as I went for it. "But me and Akamaru wanna know what this game's all about!" he grinned, exposing sharper than normal canines. The dog yipped an affirmative.

I felt my eye twitch a bit. You've got to be kidding me. Don't wannabe ninjas have better things to be doing rather than bothering me? And that was why I grated out, "No dogs allowed."

He shrugged and replied, "Guess you don't get your ball back then."

Sparky, Mii, and I stared at each other for a second before huddling up and discussing furiously for a moment the pros and cons of such an alliance, and in my defense, I protested heavily against it, but in the end, it was two against one. I sighed, and stood back up, stomping over to him with a reluctant, "Fine. What's your name, Punk?"

"I'm Kiba." He grinned toothily at me. "And this is Akamaru."

"Great," I replied unenthusiastically, "I'm Yuka, the pitcher, so I'll need that, thanks. You go line up with sparky at first base. The pint sized puppy is with Mii. They'll explain the rules. You break em, you're out. No exceptions."

And that was how Inuzuka Kiba and his partner Akamaru ended up joining Konoha's first little league baseball team. They each ended up replacing the current team leaders due to necessity since the whole game had been brought to a completely new level of brutal, although how Akamaru managed to plan strategies with Mii's team with the whole language barrier thing was beyond me. The pros to the situation? Well, now every time the ball flew off into the Inuzuka compound, we had a willing volunteer to go and get it safely. The cons? I had at least ten more kids to patch up in the infirmary, along with a stupid kid ninja and his dog. He brought his big sister Hana—who helped serve as referee—over to help though, and it made things quicker.

I actually made it on time to work every once in a while after that. Funny enough, I think Hanako actually counted on me being late, because I ran into our mysterious loiterer again, and this time I _knew_ something was up. I was going to question Hanako good and proper but it's just too bad Naruto showed up and she made me take off at three to go and play ninja with him. And it was then, not only did I know something was up, I knew she was hiding it from me too... That hurt more than I liked to admit.

"You realize I'm losing money because of you, right?" I pressed upon him as he dragged me off to the training grounds.

"Is money all you care about?!" he shot back.

"Uh, yeah. Pretty much," I pointed out.

"Liar," he challenged.

"I _am_ not!" I retorted.

"Are too!" And because Naruto could do this all day, I didn't even respond. When we got to a vaguely familiar training ground, he grinned, "Okay, Yuka-chan! Show me what you've got!"

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather—Argh! What the—STOP!" I dodged out of the way of his punches by a hair's breadth each time. "Naruto! Goddammit, you—"

"Come on, fight back! What happened to the cool Yuka-chan who always used to beat the crap out of the bullies?!" And him too, on occasion, it went without saying. I gritted my teeth as I dodged another charge but then a fist came out of nowhere—_BAM_—and I was down. I didn't move for a second, shaking, and the onslaught paused. "...H-hey, Yuka-chan, you okay? Did I hit you too hard?"

He went on, freaking out a little, fluttering around me like a spastic mother hen, and I clenched my jaw even tighter. It was at that point something snapped and I pounced on him with a vengeance. "You little _bastard_! What makes you think you can just damage my precious face like that? Huh!? I'll show you what I got, you little—"

And it just kept going downhill from there. The good news? It got my mind off Hanako and her secrets. Bad news? Old habits come back hard. I remembered it just like it was yesterday. Beating the crap out of him was pretty easy actually, especially if you fought dirty like me. Sure, my technique was rusty and unrefined, and not as flexible as his due to lack of practice, but I didn't need perfect form to land a hit. _Blind rage_ was a pretty good motivator, and it made me fast and unpredictable. However, I received just about as much as I doled out. It was still pretty satisfying in the end though. And when the sun started to set, I sat up from where we'd both collapsed, gave him one last good _kick_ and left. No thank you's, no goodbye's.

And speaking of which, the usual suspect was hanging out by my door when I got back. "...What happened to you?"

I scowled at him and grumbled, "You should see the other guy..."

He followed me inside without so much as asking and I just left him there while I went to go wash the dirt and grime of my battered body. When I was done, I continued to ignore him until I had made dinner and sat down across the table from him heavily, my face set in its usual surly expression and stabbed a vegetable with my utensil. "You got anything to tell me?"

"Not at the moment," he informed me, and though he admitted nothing, I got the feeling something was frustrating him. I glared at his face for a long time, trying to figure it out, before giving up slowly and sliding a plate over to him with reluctance.

"Freeloader..." I grumbled, then continued my aggressive vegetable stabbing with no further comment. But it's not like I hated having him over. It was a nice change as opposed to the angry old lady on the other side of me banging on my door for having the music up too loud. Sometimes I just hated it when it was too quiet. I got the feeling that deep down, maybe Sasuke didn't like it either. Maybe that's why he'd never banged on my wall to tell me to shut up before. And I supposed that's why I admitted, "You know, as far as neighbors go, you're not so bad."

He arched a brow at me. "This, coming from the one who tried to avoid me for four years."

I shrugged, "If you were me, you'd probably have tried to avoid you too. Key word: _tried_. I was very unsuccessful at it, judging by the amount of times I nearly ran you over, and now here you are, sitting in my house, eating my food. I think it's safe to say I failed _spectacularly_ at avoiding the problem..." I frowned down at my stir fry in concentration. "...I don't think you can ever hide from your problems for very long." I looked up at him. "But you can always run, if you're fast enough..."

"But you're stuck here," he concluded.

"And therein lies my dilemma in a nutshell..." I smiled a bitter smile, and rested my chin on my hand serenely.

His eyes were dark. "So in other words, if you could've left before now, you would've been gone without saying a word about any of this...leaving me in the dark." In more ways than one.

"Well, one could argue that you were actually _safer_ not knowing anything..." I pointed out. "If I had gone without telling you a thing, you'd be none the wiser, the worst that could happen is you flee the village after some time to gain power—and let's face it, at the rate you're going now, you're probably going to end up doing that _anyway_—and then go off and kill your lousy brother. And now that you know something's up, even if you _don't_ end up killing him after you learn the truth, it won't really matter in the end, because he's practically dead anyway."

He froze, staring at me in rapt attention, and I realized I'd said something very wrong, "...Explain."

"...He's _sick_, Sasuke," I told him in a level tone. "And I don't just mean sick in the head, I mean he has a _disease_. It's killing him. At best, he only has about three, maybe four years to live...not to mention he's slowly going blind... So it won't really matter what you do... Unless..."

His fingers were gripping the table so hard that his knuckles were turning white. You'd think for one that had impressed his ever loving hatred of the man quite clearly, he'd be up and celebrating at the prospect of his demise, but I got the feeling that's not how Sasuke was. For one thing, judging by what I knew of the kid, I figured Sasuke for the kind who'd want to end it himself—not have some anticlimactic deus ex machina finish the job for him—and for another...well, despite everything, deep down, Itachi was still his _brother_. And I believe for that reason alone, he beseeched me with his eyes for some sort of miracle. "...Unless _what_?"

I stared at him calculatingly. "Itachi is one of the last six people alive who don't need to rely on freaky nightmares to really know the truth about what happened that night... He could give you all the evidence you need against Danzo in one fell swoop. Granted, you might have to torture it out of him, and that's only _if_ you decide to save him first." I paused for thought. "And if that's the path you wanna take, then I think I might have an idea... It's a long shot in the dark but it might just work."

Sasuke was quiet for a long time, thinking. And when he answered, it wasn't the question I was expecting him to ask. "...You said there are six people who know about the truth, not including you." His eyes narrowed, and briefly reminded me of burning black coals. "Who are they?"

After a moment, I sighed and said, "I'll tell you, but if you're thinking about good old fashioned revenge, I'll let you know right now, it's not going to—"

"_Who are they_?"

I really hoped I wasn't going to regret this. "...The two elders, Danzo, Itachi, your sensei's old teammate—who is apparently not as dead as everyone thought...and the third Hokage."

"The _Hokage_ was in on it?" he exclaimed. It was probably the first time I'd ever seen him so shocked barring the first time I mentioned ass hats and random massacres...

"Not exactly." I amended. "He tried to stop it. He _failed_ to stop it. But then again, he wasn't the only one at fault."

"What do you mean?" He shot at me, frustrated. "Stop dancing around the subject. Just tell me what I want to know!"

After a long moment of tense silence, I realized I had to say something. I glared at him but soon relented and lowered my eyes with a cautionary, "..._Fine_. But don't say I didn't warn you." I really didn't want to be the one to do this, but I supposed it was better than someone else trying to manipulate him with it. "There's a reason I wanted you to find out on your own, but you always have to rush ahead and do everything quickly." I narrowed my eyes at him. "There were mistakes on both sides. Your clan refused negotiations with the village—"

"Negotiations over _what_?" he stressed. "I don't remember any of this—"

"That's because of the fact that you were eight, and _stupid_," I interjected scathingly, "and it's a universal truth that nobody tells stupid eight-year-olds anything," I cut him off before he could argue, "And don't tell me you don't remember anything strange going on before it happened. Remember Shisui? The supposed Uchiha suicide? And everyone thought Itachi did it?" I pulled my notebook up from under the table and slapped it open to the likeness of Danzo. "_Bingo_. And that's not even the tip of the iceburg. It all started when the the nine tails was released on the village. Danzo took it as an opportunity to exploit the Uchiha clan. He started spreading dissent within the village about the Sharingan being the only thing now in existence that's able to control a tailed beast. Soon, people began to distrust them, ostracize them, some even suspecting them of foul play, and sequestered them on the outskirts of the village. Naturally, just like cornered wolves, they felt they had no other choice than to strike back..." I stopped talking to look up at him only to see him staring back blankly. I could see the gears spinning on overtime, putting the pieces into place. And with a sudden surge of sympathy, I thought hard for a moment on what I was about to say. "...You're not going to like what I have to tell you, Sasuke. I can't ask you to promise me you won't flip out, because if it were my family, I _would_. But I can't sugarcoat it for you like Itachi did...it's bad. Really, _really_ bad..."

"You call what...what he _did._..'sugarcoating' it?" he had a raw look to his eyes that I'd never seen before.

"...Compared to what _really_ happened? Yes. Itachi's lie was designed to protect you from the truth, in more than just one way." I closed my eyes and sighed, trying to imagine someone telling me that everything I thought I knew about my parents' deaths was a complete and total lie. "This is your last chance to run from it, Sasuke. After this, there's no going back."

He narrowed his eyes at me in a moment of critical silence and muttered disdainfully, "I'm not like _you_."

I stared at him for a long time and answered, "You're right. You're much braver than I am..."

I then bore witness as a human being slowly transformed into a statue in front of my very eyes growing stiller and stiller as each word left my mouth, chipping away at the lies until the ugly, horrific truth was laid bare in front of him. I wasn't supposed to care. It wasn't my problem. I wanted my raise, and that was it. But as Hanako knew damn well, I was physically _unable_ to initiate friendships with people—that would imply trust, and I didn't trust anyone. So, bearing my shortcomings in mind, I used the only thing I had at my disposal. He asked to know the truth. It wasn't of any value to me, so I told him.

I doubted we'd ever be friends, but after this, we were _something_. I didn't know what, but it was that same something that compelled me to grab a blanket off the couch and drape it over his shoulders. And when he still didn't react, I made tea and set a cup down on the table in front of him. It was something my mom always did for me when I was upset as a kid, and if it made me feel better, maybe it would work on—

The sudden crash as the cup shattered against the wall made me jump. But other than a long, blank stare at the shattered remains of the companion piece to my matching tea set, and the splatter stain that now dripped sluggishly down the wall, besides a feeling of mild disappointment, I didn't give much else of a reaction. It's not like I was expecting anything different, nor could I yell at him for it. Hell, I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd flipped the whole table over and started to reenact the nine tails attack in detail using my apartment as a stage...

And so I just got up, cleaned up the mess, replaced his glass with a plastic one, retook my seat, and proceeded to add copious amounts of sugar to mine. As a pastry chef, I was a bit jaded when it came to most sweet things, but as for tea? I _murdered_ it with sugar. Every. Time. I remember Mom always hated bringing me to public tea houses and traditional cafes because it was just embarrassing to be seen with me.

It was typical that it was the thing that brought him out of his stupor, to simply stare at the piles upon piles of sugar I was dumping into my cup as if it were something theraputic. Then his eyes darted up to mine in a message that couldn't have been clearer if he had screamed it at me. _That's absolutely revolting. _I simply shrugged at him, put down my spoon, took a long sip of the piping hot, sugar saturated liquid, and closed my eyes in satisfaction. It's the little things in life, ya know?

Eventually, with immense effort, he seemed to shake away several levels of what appeared to be disgust and repressed psychological trauma in an impressive display of mental fortitude, and he finally started drinking his tea with somewhat shaky hands. All in all, he recovered much quicker than I probably would've in his position. It was then I told him softly, "Keep doing your research. Find your evidence. Find out what you're up against. The normal revenge schemes aren't going to work here. This is a matter of politics...not sentiment...no matter how much you want it to be." A pause. "...If I were you, I'd take some time to really think about the future. And remember you're not alone in this. You've got Naruto...he's an idiot, but he doesn't abandon his friends—no matter what. And that girl Sakura...she seemed pretty smart, and she likes you, I can tell... They'll help you."

He looked up slowly from the cup in his hands to consider me with careful eyes, then asked quietly, "...What about you?"

I stared back. "You know what my overall goal in all this is... I never said it was to help you." I was thoughtful for a moment. "...But as long as I'm still stuck in this hole with you, I'm all for causing those self-righteous bastards a little bit of grief." My olive-green eyes glinted in the dim light. "I say, let's give 'em all hell—the nice and slow kind—and see where the pieces fall."

"...Sounds good to me," he agreed with a certain malignant shine in his dark eyes. It made me think something _big_ was about to go down in Konoha sooner or later...for better or for worse. But as for me, judging by the feeling I got from that look on his face...I was betting on worse. _Way_ worse... I only hoped I'd be long gone by the time the shit really started to hit the fan.

* * *

"By the way...you owe me a new tea set."

"What do you mean, you're leaving?" I demanded hotly. "You can't just _do_ something like that out of the blue! What about work!? What about the customers? What about my _raise_?!"

"Calm _down_, Yuka. I can't explain just at the moment, but I'll be back as soon as I—"

"_How long_!?" I thundered.

She paused as she went to pack a light blue yukata away and considered me for a long moment before admitting with a sort of steel determination in her eyes, "...As long as it takes."

I clenched and unclenched my hands, glaring at her before moving to block the doorway to the loft over the bakery. "Where are you going, Hanako-sensei!? I know you've been keeping secrets! That's what all those weirdos showing up around here was all about, right? That's why you kept distracting me with that Sasuke jerk, and making me take off work with stupid Naruto! Well I'm not moving until you give me an explanation and a goddamn better estimate that that!"

For a moment, there was a cold flash in her eyes and she pegged me with a stare that made me feel like an annoying fly buzzing around an agitated cat. It was bizarre. Hanako-sensei was one of the most gentle—if occasionally stern—women I'd ever met. She always smiled that serene, tightlipped smile and even covered her mouth when she giggled. Everyone loved her. Even that weird sensei of Naruto's who always read the perverted books... Or maybe I should say _especially_ him. He came into the bakery every so often even though, like Sasuke, he had a fairly severe aversion to sweet things. He always had some ridiculous excuse about it though, and refused to budge on the topic, no matter how many times I shot barbs at him about flirting in a place of business where work was supposed to be done. Worse was when Hanako flirted _back_. Work had become somewhat of a puke fest since he started showing up...but I digress.

"...My personal affairs are none of your business," She remarked coldly.

I stopped clenching and unclenching and my hands just settled into white knuckled fists as I felt a reluctant sting shoot through me. And then I demanded, "So it's okay for you to pry into my personal life with my stupid neighbor, and that dunderhead, Naruto, as much as you want then, huh? I never wanted to be close to anyone—and you know damn _well_ why that is—yet still you push, and push—and I put up with it because I—I—" I swallowed, my jaw jumping in agitation, not wanting to admit the truth, until I finally couldn't hold it in anymore, and I shouted, "What am I to you, huh?! You were my parents' friend, but where were you when that idiot at the gates stabbed first and asked question's later!? Huh? Do you feel guilty?! Is that what this is? Are you _pitying_ me? Am I just some _charity_ project—"

"That is _enough_!" Hanako stood to her full height and towered over me, her accent completely gone. For a moment, I felt a wave of...something...some, horrible dread aura washed over me like a Tsunami, and my knees trembled slightly. But as soon as it had come, it was gone, and suddenly, Hanako was Hanako again. Her brows were knitted together in a distressed frown and she rushed over to grip my shoulders comfortingly. "I would _never_ do that to you. Never. Don't ever believe I would, not even for a second. You are a _strong_ little girl, and I'm _proud_ to call you my student. But..." Her eyes flashed with emotion. She seemed torn. "...there is something I must do. Please understand."

My face twisted, and I persisted, "Why won't you just _tell_ me where you're going? Why..._why_ are you leaving me?" I didn't want to admit that I needed her. And it wasn't just because of my raise. "Take me with you."

Something within her seemed stricken, and she wearily took a seat on edge of her bed. Miserable, she insisted, "It's too dangerous for you."

"Me? What about _you_!" I pointed out.

For the first time, a glimpse of a smile. She shook her head, her accent reverting, "Don't'cha worry about me. I'll be just—"

"So you get to worry about me all the time, but as soon as you get a taste of your own medicine you throw it back in my face! If that's not hypocritical, I don't know what is, Sensei. And if there's one thing you are, it's not that." I glared at her, then stubbornly stated, "I'm _not_ letting you leave without an explanation."

She let out a long sigh, leaning back on the heels of her hands. "You're the most stubborn child I've ever met. I have no idea where ya get it from. Your dad was a wimp—a good man, but an honest cry baby if I ever met one—and your mom, well..." She closed her eyes sadly. "She was an interesting character to say the least... Anyway, I doubt ya got it from _me._.."

"...You can be pretty stubborn too, ya know," I grumbled, mimicking her accent just to spite her.

She smiled ruefully, and began, "Ya know, I wasn't originally from Konoha to begin with. Like your folks, I came here as a refugee, and we became good friends on the road before our groups were forced to split up. Bandits, and similar roadblocks of the sort... Such a large group couldn't have gotten all the way here without attracting some unwanted attention. We promised to meet back at Konoha, but...ya know how that plan worked out." She sighed heavily. "My country was experiencing multiple skirmishes from within at the time, until one day it all blew out of proportion, and I..." She paused, several emotions passing over her face at once, frustration, rage, but most of all, sadness. "I was separated from my husband, and my children..."

I stared at her. "...I didn't know you had a family."

She smiled her closemouthed smile sadly. "Everyone's got family somewhere. Even your mom's clan, back in Kusa..."

"She never talked about them," I pointed out.

"For good reason... I wouldn't go looking for them if I were you. Bad vibes... Your mom had her reasons for leaving, beyond just the scope of the war. Don't go poking around that vicious thorn bush, Yuka. A fox might jump out..." She shivered a bit, but shook her head before I could ask her more about it and went on, flustered, "I've still got a nephew back home... I wonder what he looks like now. He takes after his brother though... That worries me a bit." She laughed, wiped a tear from her eye, and combed her cornsilk hair over her ear to disguise the action. "I hope he's still alive." There was a long pause before she rephrased with determination, "I _know_ they are. I've caught rumors of them over the years, but this time...I've finally got a real lead." Her eyes shone. "I'm going after them, Yuka. I'm getting my family back. I have to."

Still standing in front of the door, my arms hung limply at my sides. I felt numb, as if someone had injected novocaine into my bloodstream. I found it amazing that my feet could still move as I shuffled out of the way. "Guess it would be presumptuous of me to assume I could stop you then..."

She shouldered her pack and strode over to me, tilting my face up so that she could see it clearly. I couldn't disguise the hurt on it, so I didn't try. But as usual, Hanako knew exactly what to say. "You're my family too, Yuka. And you're _strong_. Use that, and don't ever forget that you're strongest when you stand on your own two feet." She smiled and kissed my forehead. When she drew back, she promised. "I'll be back. And this time I'll bring my boys to meet'cha. I'll have told them all about you, of course. They'll be so excited."

I couldn't force myself to smile, and instead spoke exactly what I was thinking, "Don't you _dare_ leave me here."

"Yuka," She told me solemnly. "If ya hate it so much, I swear...one day, I'll take you away from all this myself." She smoothed my hair. "Just promise me that you'll be able to manage on your own for a while. No gettin' into trouble."

I swallowed thickly, but with a slow nod of my head, I agreed, "Y-yeah... Sure. I can do that. No problem."

She considered me dubiously for a moment, but smiled gently, took my hand, and squeezed. "I know ya can."

With that, she was gone and I aimed a feeble little wave at her back until she disappeared into the crowd of bustling people. After she left, I stood forlornly in front of the abandoned bakery with a broom, inexplicably feeling the same. Staring at the dark, empty display cases, I wondered to myself with the sinking feeling ..._Now what_?

Some ways outside the village of Konoha, there was a little town. In this nameless town there was a nameless little establishment that sold shoe soles, and steel toes for boots. It was cheap work—no one in the little village could understand how it still remained in business—and the unfriendly man who ran the place was less than what you would call 'upstanding' himself...but despite what the outside eye could deduce, it wasn't his main source of income at all...

The man was working on some mindless project when the bell over the door signaled the arrival of a customer. But since the man's _usual_ customers never resorted to using something so mundane he didn't even look up when he grunted, "We're closed."

"Hmm, is that so...? That's too bad." When he heard it was a woman's voice, the man's eyes flicked up from his project immediately. And he was glad they did. She was gorgeous in a classic sort of way. Long, flowing blond—almost white—hair, and a gentle curving smile to her full lips that made her face glow as she surveyed the shoddy merchandise that lined the walls with pale grey eyes. He couldn't tell what age she was, but his interest was piqued, nonetheless.

He aimed his best smile at her and purred, "Is there anything _else_ I can help you with, my lady?" She strode slowly over to the counter, her hips swaying from side to side as she went, and when she pressed herself against it, the man couldn't help but notice her generous endowments... but then, as she leaned towards him...she smiled, her lips slowly pulling back over her pearly..._serrated_ teeth...into a feral grin. The man flinched, but in his line of work, he'd seen worse, and immediately schooled his features into calmness as he bit out, "What the hell do you want?"

"Hehe...why so cold? Ya seemed so eager to help me before..." She chuckled cruelly, but then all the humor fled from her in the way only ninja could present a blank mask and cut to the chase. "Get me a sword and gear. And not one of those pathetic, stabby toothpicks either. I need something big enough to cleave a man in two... I've got a score to settle."

The man swallowed, his grip tightening around the kunai he had under the table, but nodded nonetheless. "R-right...I'll show you what I've got. Come on back and take a look."

Her face lit back up into the gentle mask she'd walked in with and hummed with a giggle she hid demurely behind her fingers...hiding the wicked teeth as well. "So gentlemanly... That's more like it."

Less than thirty minutes later, she disappeared out the back door with enough supplies to take out a small army and a giant axe strapped to her back. The man made it a policy of his not to ask questions... But from what he could deduce about the woman, he already felt sorry for the poor bastard she was after…

* * *

**So, Ashley is currently unable to update, but fear not! I (Orokashii) will be the one getting the chapters out to you guys every Wednesday until she can.**

******She said I can make fun of her as payment but it's kind of hard to do when she's so great. (Is that a joke in itself? Sorry, I have a lack of a funny bone when under pressure) **

**Anyway, she'll still be able to reply to your reviews so you guys better do it! Ghost readers aren't fun readers. **

**Thanks if you do.**


	4. WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE OVER THIS SHIT

**THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE OVER THIS SHIT**

* * *

"You can always stay with us, Yuka-nee!" Sparky grinned. "Then we can play baseball all the time!"

"Is baseball all you care about?" I rolled my eyes. "And besides, I can't go back to the orphanage. I might be underage, but once you're out, you're out. It's matter of pride."

"Is pride really all that important when you're about to be kicked out onto the street?" Kiba grinned at me, now back from the ice-cream stand and handing out popsicles to everyone. Sparky's team had won this time, so he decided to treat them. Kiba was actually a pretty nice guy, and the brats loved him and the stupid puppy. But what made me mad is that he advocated the idea of being a ninja... He was practically a hero to these kids. Not that he realized what he was doing of course, but now I was almost positive Sparky—whose name was actually Hiro—was planning on heading to the academy this year.

Sneering at him, I grumbled out, "I wouldn't expect a dog-lover like you to understand the concept of _dignity._.."

"Hey! What do you have against Akamaru!" He accused me, frustrated, and the dog whined slightly. "What's your problem!? You've always had one since the start!"

I sighed. "I just don't like dogs, okay?"

"That's like saying you don't like black people!" He shouted.

I arched a brow at him deliberately and pointed out, "Seeing as how most of them come from _Kumo_, I can honestly say I hope they all drop dead..."

He stared at me, and half of his popsicle dripped off its stick. Then he exploded, "You're awful!"

"Did I ever give you a reason to suspect I wasn't?" I countered.

"Kiba-nii-san," Sparky rolled his eyes. "she just says stuff like that to shock people when she's grumpy. You're buying right into it."

I shot the kid a look from where I was reclined against the side of the ice cream shop in the shade and stretched out my leg to kick him in the butt without moving into the hot sun. "Who do you think you're blabbing about like a know-it-all, huh, Kid? That's Mii-chan's job. You're not very good at it."

He rounded on me from where he'd fallen forward and dropped his popsicle and glared. "You think you're so great! I might not be smart like Mii-chan, but you're not fooling anyone! Stop bullying Kiba-nii-san! You're just _jealous_, because you failed at being a ninja!"

"I'm not—" I stared at him, boggled and slightly outraged.

"Well, I _am_ pretty great." Kiba puffed up his chest. "It's okay. You're allowed to be jealous."

I was half compelled to walk away and leave him standing there like an idiot, but the other half of me that was pissed as hell won and I flung myself at him. I think it was because he was just so much like _Naruto_ that the instinct to pummel and take down a notch simply took over before my brain could think better of it. I got a few good hits in too, before the shock wore off and he retaliated that is. Not to mention the damn dog and Sparky decided to gang up on me. And then there was the fact that Kiba was a fully fledged genin and not even dead last like Naruto. There was just no way I could win. But I went down kicking and screaming, and not before I took one last good swipe at the annoying ninja and left a nasty claw mark down his cheek.

"Hell," he remarked, holding his hand over the welt with a wince, "for a girl, you fight like a wild animal."

"That's rich, coming from _you_." I spat blood at his feet from when I had bitten my cheek. Then again, maybe it was from that time I bit _him._

Amazingly, he laughed, and helped me up. Seems like he was used to the whole random assault thing. I wondered exactly what went on in his home life. "How long did you say you were at the academy?"

"A year," I grumbled back at him, grudgingly accepting the arm up. "What the hell do you care?"

"Well, that solves all your housing problems right there." He grinned. "Just go have a chat with old man Hokage and enroll again. If you can put up that much a fight, I bet you'll graduate in no time."

"Yeah, Nee-chan!" Sparky cheered, and I winced as I spotted a bruise forming on his jaw from where I'd accidentally clipped him with a stray elbow. "You can totally do it this time! Maybe we'll even be in the same class!"

My eyes darted between the two of them uncomprehendingly. "W-wait...no, I—guys, I quit for a _reason_. I never wanted to be..." I narrowed my eyes. "I _don't_ want to be a ninja. Hanako-sensei is coming back, and then we're going to leave. I can't do that if I'm tied down to this village."

"What?" Sparky exclaimed in dismay. "You never said you were..." His eyes shined as if he were about to cry for a moment, but then his face set into it's usual pout and rounded on his heel. "Fine! Go ahead and leave like everyone else! You're just like _them_!"

I watched as he ran off and disappeared behind a corner, then sighed, leaning back against the wall heavily and crossing my arms. I felt Kiba's stare on me, and Akamaru sat at my feet, looking up with a whine. I sneered at him and grumbled, "Don't look at me like that. I don't want to be judged by a _dog._" He simply cocked his head in reply.

"Akamaru doesn't judge people." Kiba moved to join me in my wall leaning, explaining as he stuck his hands in the pockets of his hoody—which I had no _idea_ why he wore in this kind of heat. "He's just worried, is all."

"Great..." I grumbled, watching the little pest warily. "That makes me feel _so_ much better. Tell your dog to mind his own business and keep his nose away from my ass."

He snorted with a bark like laugh. "No can do. It's just a dog thing."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I shot at him and sent him a narrow eyed, sideways look. "I just fucked up your face."

"It's not that bad." He waved it off with a grin.

"You're _bleeding_," I pointed out dryly.

"This is nothing," he insisted.

"I _bit_ you," I tried again.

"Akamaru bites me all the time." He laughed, and the dog yipped.

"Are you comparing me to a dog!?" I rounded on him, clenching my fists again.

"It's a compliment!" He insisted, holding his hands in front of him defensively.

My eye twitched, but I backed down, grumbling, "Coming from _you_, I'm sorrily inclined to believe it. Don't try and feed that load of bull to other girls though. You'll get slapped, and never get asked on a date again."

"Is that what this is?" He grinned teasingly at me.

"In your dreams dog boy," I snarled.

He grinned, but it faded after a while. Then he asked, "Are you really leaving...?"

I sent him a sardonic glance. "Would you die of heartbreak if I did?"

"Probably not," he laughed. "I would miss your one liners though."

"Ah, yes..." I hummed, then went on in an ominous announcer's voice, "The witty comebacks just never stop coming back, do they? Will she ever run out? The world may never know..."

"Hey," he said suddenly. "tell me something. And I want the truth."

"No guarantees there..." I warned him. "But what do you want to know?"

"Why'd you join the academy if you didn't want to be a ninja?" he asked curiously, eying me with confusion. "And don't tell me it was just for the money. I don't believe that's all you care about."

I was tempted to snap _believe whatever you want_ at him as I'd picked up the habit from Sasuke, but the way he was looking at me with such an honest expression... He really was a lot like Naruto. I sighed, and admitted something I hadn't thought about for a very long time, "I don't know. I guess when I was a kid, I thought I could make a difference somewhere...change the world." I shook my head with a scoff. "I lost confidence when I wasn't good enough. I couldn't even beat Naruto. And..." I hesitated before further admitting, "I was scared." I met his eyes. "Do you know what happens to Ninja who aren't good enough in this world?"

"...You seem good enough to me." He rubbed his cheek ruefully.

Somehow, it made me smile. But then I bent forward to get a better look at his face and grinned, "Dawww...did the widdle baby ninja get an ouchy boo-boo? Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?"

"Wha—_no_!" He quickly added distance between us and shook his head rapidly. "Don't get any ideas! I don't like you like that—"

My shoulders shook as I laughed at him. "Oh my god, I didn't think it was possible at first, but you're even _more_ spastic than Naruto. You're like what would happen if Naruto suddenly fused with a pomeranian."

"WHAT?!" he exclaimed furiously. "Take it back, you evil she-witch!"

"No!"

It escalated all the way back to the orphanage where the matron got on both our shits and told us to go home. And we did, with our tails between our legs, because sometimes the matron could be scary as hell. Kiba may have forgiven me, but Sparky still wouldn't look me in the eye. I guess I could understand why he was upset. When you were an orphan, you got used to the idea of people leaving. But Hiro was still new. He'd only been at the orphanage for about a year, and I had no idea what happened to his parents... I frowned as I thought about it on the way home. I almost didn't see my landlord giving me the stink eye when I got back.

I had three days to be out of my apartment.

The next day, I was unsuccessful at getting a job, and the same with the next, even though _Sasuke_ of all people had somehow taken pity on me and promised to ask around during his endless D-rank missions.

On the third day...I had run out of options.

* * *

The old man stared at me blankly from over his desk. "Let me get this straight... You want to use the academy financial aid program to keep your apartment...but when your friend comes back, you want to leave. Is this correct?"

My lips twisted into a frown as I protested, "I'd pay you back, I promise."

"But you don't plan on becoming genin, or even graduating," he went on, eying me with that same blank look. But there was mild curiosity there as he pointed out, "Tell me, Yuka-chan, you seem to be well acquainted with the idea of business after four years in the workforce... Exactly how do _I_ benefit from this arrangement?"

"I'd pay you _back_," I grated out again, clutching my fists in my lap.

"Unfortunately, money is not enough," he sighed. "The academy program is meant to help orphans who have the intention of becoming ninja, and there are _several_ at the moment who do." He stared me down. "Why should I help you, who will be of no use to me, when I can help those who desire to become assets to the village instead?"

I sat there in that chair and thought about that for a long moment. I thought of Hiro, who was still mad at me, and Mii, who'd probably make an extremely successful strategist or codebreaker one day and hated myself. So I didn't approve of becoming a ninja. So I thought it was a load of crap. Who was I to take away their dreams? With that, I stood slowly, as if taking the long walk towards an execution and began to head towards the door without another word.

But then the Hokage spoke again, making me stop as he asked dryly, "Where do you think you're going?"

I shrugged, without turning around and mumbled in a hopeless sort of voice, "I dunno. Not back home, obviously. Maybe to pack a few things. Say my goodbyes. I can't stay there anymore, so I'm going after Hanako-sensei. I'm still allowed to do that, aren't I?"

"You're allowed to do whatever you please, of course." He nodded. "However, I wasn't quite finished chatting with you. So if you wouldn't mind..." He gestured back to the seat in front of his desk I'd just vacated.

I stood still for a moment longer, eying the door longingly. Why couldn't he just let me lose in peace? Why rub in the defeat? But he was still the Hokage. I couldn't just disobey a direct order, even if I wasn't directly under his command. You just didn't do that. So it was with a heavy heart that I backtracked, gradually dragging my feet across the floor with all the enthusiasm of a torture victim and slowly sunk back into my seat. Hey. He didn't say I couldn't take my time.

"Your teacher...when did you say she'd be back?" He questioned, leaning on the desk with perplexing intrigue.

After a moment, I finally shrugged. "I don't really know. She says she got separated from her husband and kids when they were fleeing the country. Got a lead. She went to go get them. Sounded dangerous." After an even longer pause, I admitted in a quieter voice, "I don't know if she's really coming back at all..."

"I'm sorry," he told me. And it seemed, in that one sentence, the meaning was conveyed to multiple slights. Hanako, my parents...

I looked back up at him guardedly, and my eyes carried a singular message. _No you're not_.

"...Nothing to be sorry about," I said instead, referring to the conversation at hand. "It's just something she said she had to do. Shitty situation for me. I lost my job and my teacher. But shit happens to everyone." He remained quiet for a while, just surveying me in a way that made me feel intensely uncomfortable, as I always did in his presence, and I finally cut to the chase. "Look. I understand why you won't let me back in the program. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice... Anyway, I _know_ those kids at the orphanage. I help make breakfast and made up this game we play with a ball, and..." I shook my head slowly. "They're good kids. I don't want to screw up their chances of living their—"

"I never said I wouldn't let you back into the program, Yuka," he interjected, and I stopped talking immediately.

My mind instantly jumped to its default setting in asking. "What do you want?"

He chuckled at the knee-jerk reaction and pointed out, "Not one for subtlety, are you?"

"Never," I replied, then repeated, "What do you want?"

"Many things," he answered, the amusement seeping out of him and weariness seeped back in as he let out a sigh. "But right now? You seem to be a very practical child, Yuka—I want you to really consider the purpose of the academy for a moment. Go on. Tell me about it."

I paused. "Taking in students...and churning out genin."

"Correct." He nodded. "Now, what happens when the students go through the program, learn everything we have to teach them, and deliberately don't graduate? It creates a problem. See, putting monetary values aside—resources, and above all, _potential_ _for good_, are wasted. And here you are, asking me to allow you to do just that."

I looked down at my hands in my lap, sufficiently shamed—he was trying to run a village here, after all. "I'm sorry. But I—"

"How about you and I strike a deal?" He proposed out of the blue, and I stared at him, puzzled.

"...What kind of deal?" I wondered.

"If you make top of your class in every field—and I know you _can_ if you apply yourself—and genuinely make an attempt to graduate to genin, then I will personally pay for your schooling and living expenses, no strings attached. In this time, if your Hanako-sensei comes back for you before you graduate, then you're free to go. If not, then we can assume the worst has unfortunately happened to her, and you'd be better off here anyway, rather than going off after her on a wild goose chase that's bound to get you killed." He paused to let me digest that for a moment, then went on. "Of course, I will have someone monitoring your progress very carefully, and if your marks fall low, or if it seems you're holding back for any reason, I will withdraw my support. Does that seem agreeable?"

I think I sat there for a good ten minutes, weighing my options. Something was screaming at me that accepting this deal would be like making a deal with the devil, but the other half was focused on survival. I was ashamed to say that only the smallest part of me cried out in worry for Hanako. So what if she didn't come back? That didn't mean anything, she could _still_ be out there! ...But what use would I be if I went after her as I was now? Broke, powerless... The only reason she would stay away is if something was _keeping_ her away, and if I couldn't fight that, then what good was I? In my opinion, there was no use worrying over something I couldn't change until I actually had the power to change it.

It was strange, really. It was the first time I'd ever thought of joining the academy to gain _power_ of all things. Back when I thought I was going to change the world, I always thought I was going to work my way up the ladder of politics and do it that way, but there was one other way to do it in this world. And that was by becoming so strong, everyone else listened to what you said...or else. I'd never aspired to become that person. Never dreamed I could. And then when the nightmares came true, I started running, and that ended any ideas of becoming anything. Ever. But you know what? The signs were cropping up everywhere around me. It was soon becoming painfully apparent that running was no longer a working _option._.. And now...now a feeling bubbled up in my chest that made me tighten my fists in my lap and clench my jaw as it washed over me. And in spite of everything, something had just become very clear to me... I was getting sick, and fucking _tired_, of _running._

_Hanako-sensei said that I'm strongest when I stand on my own two feet._ I looked up slowly at the old man with determination in my eyes. _Well I just hope this is what she meant_.

"Let's do it."

* * *

"So yeah..." I finished my story. "Apparently I'm not getting kicked out, or leaving any time soon. Maybe not ever, if my luck _really_ decides to screw me over..."

"Hmph..." He seemed vaguely smug for some reason. "Looks like you're not going anywhere. I bet that really screwed up your plans."

I scrutinized him carefully from across the table and observed, "You seem bitter about something. As in something more than what you're _usually_ bitter about. Care to share with the class?" At the subtle smirk I caught at the corner of his lip and the usual non-answer, I glowered at him. "You're _glad_ I'm stuck here, aren't you, you vindictive little..."

"I wouldn't go that far..." He countered, however, the infuriating smugness still remained. "yet the word 'satisfaction' comes to mind more than once."

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" I grumbled at him, making an unpleasant face. "Plus, I have a theory that you're completely _deranged_ too. There's no way you can come out on the other side of your special brand of family issues and still remain sound of mind. And see if I try to help you. There's no way in hell I'm touching _that_ barrel of crazy." I scoffed. "Knowing _you_, I'll probably have a knife in my back for all the thanks I'll get."

The smug look was replaced with a threatening one and he pointed out, "Then I highly suggest you stop talking shit in the presence of the one with the knife."

My eyes darted down to where he had his kunai holster strapped, then back up to the mentally deranged child assassin in my house and saluted his victory. "Right. No shit talking the crazy Uchiha. Point duly noted. In my defense...I'm very upset."

"You get to keep your apartment." He sent me a dull look, and the rest of the sentence was implied. _Why are you still whining_?

"Under the condition that I get '_top marks in every field_,'" I stressed then let my head fall into my arms as I mumbled muffledly, "Sounded like a good idea at the time, but I wasn't thinking about the actual following through part..." I sighed. "I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do. I could still end up right back where I started... And I don't know why the hell I'm boo-hooing to _you_ about it. Why are you here anyway?" I looked up from my arms at him curiously. "Did you find anything interesting in the UMPD files?"

"No." He'd been remaining adamantly tight lipped about that, actually. "But I'm hungry."

I glared at him. "Oh right. I forgot. You're a freeloader. And even after my salary's been drastically reduced as it is..." But I just rolled my eyes and dragged myself over to whip something up anyway. It was kind of a routine between the two of us now. Turns out, my hunch was right, and Sasuke was an abysmal cook. He didn't like to admit being bad at anything though, and so he offered up no explanation. I just kind of deduced by the burning smell I decided to investigate, and it turned out he was trying to air out the toxic fumes by fanning it all out the sliding door to his balcony. It was probably the most ridiculous thing I'd ever caught him doing. So I decided to do us both a favor, one, in removing the hazard of him possibly burning down the apartment building—which was good news for me—and two, he got a free meal ticket out of it. Though I'd probably be extorting grocery money out of him sooner or later. For now...it was more of a choose your battles wisely thing when it came to the two of us.

I continued talking as I started making soup, because Sasuke wasn't big on the whole talking thing. I wasn't even sure if he listened or not, but he was a person, and it's not like he was going anywhere, so I just talked. About anything and everything. I got the feeling sometimes it annoyed him, which was good for me, because anything that ticked him off brought me this strange satisfaction I couldn't quite explain. And it's not like he didn't deserve it either, because he did the _exact same thing_ in his own sadistic little way... It was a subtle little game of childish taunting, really.

"I guess I could spend more time with Naruto..." I mused. "I mean...his training methods are questionable at best, but my form has really shaped up thanks to all the times he dragged me away from work to go play ninja with him..."

"Training with _Naruto_?" He suddenly interjected, shocking me. "_That's_ your grand plan?"

"Well...yeah. He's always up for a little beatdown." I stared at him over my shoulder, then arched my brow. "Unless you're offering to volunteer out of the goodness of your—"

He stood abruptly and strode over to me, causing me to pause warily and turn to face him completely when he got into my space and then gestured with a twist of his hand, "Turn."

"Wha—" I stared at him dumbly for a second, then deadpanned, "Are you seriously asking me to do a twirl for you—"

"Just shut up and do it before I change my mind," he instructed impatiently.

"Change your mind about _what_?" I grumbled, but grudgingly did as I was told, putting on a cute sort of show just to mock him and finished with a sarcastic little flourish and a bow. "Happy?"

He didn't answer, and shocked me by grabbing my wrist and stretching out my arm. My first instinct was to jerk away from him, but then I looked at his face, and he seemed to be intent on analyzing my muscle structure...then he murmured something like, "...the right build for precision but…" He turned his attention back to my face. "You've been keeping in shape since you dropped out?"

"...Didn't see a reason why not." I shrugged. "Hot body, is a hot body, is a hot body... You like?"

He sent me a look and dropped my wrist like a poisonous snake. "You're disgusting."

"Not so," I protested with amusement, and joked, "It's perfectly natural to be attracted to me, since I'm most likely the best thing that's happened to you in years. Don't try and deny it."

"You really like the sound of your own voice," he scoffed. "Keep it up with the ridiculous accusations and I'm not going to help you at all."

"Why _are_ you helping me?" I pegged him. "It's not like you actually care if I lose my house."

"No, but if you do, it means you're going to go after that woman and I lose the one reliable information resource I've managed to find," he growled at me.

"So I take it the UMPD files got trashed?" I deduced, and from his surly expression, I believe I hit it right on the money and shook my head. "Well I'm hardly an advocate of prophetic dreams being what you'd categorize as 'reliable,' but I suppose they _are_ something to contemplate... I can take a guess at what happened and because of the dream thing, my guesses are usually pretty accurate..." I sighed. "Danzo probably took a stroll through there at one point in the past four years and had a major case of the sticky fingers... And it's not exactly like he's had reservations about stealing things from the Uchiha in the past..." I watched as his face twisted with disgust and hate. And I honestly couldn't blame him. Going so far as to desecrate the dead… It was awful. "But then again, it could've been anyone that wanted to keep you in the dark, really. For protection purposes or otherwise. Not that it helps you much now..." I tapped my chin in thought. "Unless they're still keeping them around for some reason... Do you have any idea of what exactly is missing? I'm sure with how analy clean you keep your apartment, your family couldn't have been much different in terms of organization. There's bound to be something that'll tell you what was stolen. Then at least we'll know what they're trying to hide, and maybe work out the reasoning...maybe even track it down if it's not been burnt to a crisp already. We should take a leaf out of your clan's book and make a list of the suspects. Given enough information we can work together, narrow it down, and figure out who our target is."

He thought for a moment, and nodded. "This is why I keep you around. Meet me at the training grounds as soon as classes at the academy let out. If you don't take this seriously, or run your mouth, you'll be sorry."

"Well," I crossed my arms with a glare. "who can argue with _that_ sort of unfailing logic...?"

"Unless you'd rather train with Naruto and fail," he threw out there.

I scowled at him as he retook his seat and stared at me expectantly. Perhaps it was the fact that I really didn't like that domineering look on his face, and maybe I just wanted to spite him that led me to the firm decision. "I'll train with _both_ of you. In all honesty, do you even know how to teach someone? Knowing you, you'd probably skip over all the basics and jump right into the thick of things. Am I right?" The look on his face, along with the way he was, confirmed it. "In comparison, all Naruto knows is the basics, primarily. A good student knows how to use her resources to her advantage, so wipe that pissy look of your face. Maybe, if you care so much, you can go and collaborate with him. Which I doubt you'll do, because your people skills suck even worse than _mine_." I then arched my brow at him and smirked challengingly. "Unless you've got something to prove..."

Looking back, at that moment, it seems I may have inadvertently started a small-scale war.

* * *

The next time Naruto dragged me off, I got an ingenious idea. "Hey, you wanna know something awesome about shadow clones?"

"I'm the _king_ of shadow clones! Watch this Yuka-chan!" He grinned, then demonstrated by multiplying himself by fifteen and making a pyramid. "See!?" the one on top waved his arms at me.

"Impressive," I admitted, crossing my arms. "But I know something you don't know..." All the clones at the bottom of the pyramid suddenly poofed out of existence, leaving the original at the top to scream, flail, and fall several feet to the ground in a heap. I sighed at the intelligence of that, but went over to check for damage anyway. After all, if this idiot was determined to help me...might as well return the favor. "You didn't fall on your head, did you? Not like it would really matter too much with someone like you, but in my experience, I've learned the situation can always get worse..."

"Ow, ow, ow!" He groaned as I moved to maneuver his head onto my lap, inspecting for impact areas, "You're mean, Yuka-chaaaan..."

"Hey, you're the one who just had to be on top." I rolled my eyes. But then he snickered at the unintended innuendo and I slapped him in the forehead. "Cut it out. You don't even know what that _means_, _or_ why it's funny."

"So?" he huffed. "It's still funny..."

I rolled my eyes once more. "You need to _stop_ sneaking into the porn section with that kid...whatshisname?"

"Konohamaru..." He rubbed his head and stared up at me reproachfully.

"Yeah. That one. You're going to end up like that weirdo teacher of yours if you're not careful—or _worse_..." I grumbled, stifling a shiver that went down my back as I pictured a tall, white haired man doing a funny dance with toads. He'd taken up the space of an entire _night's_ worth of nightmares, that one... At that, I shoved his head off my lap. "Nothing fatal. Try to be more careful."

"You be more _gentle_!" He shot back, rubbing his poor, abused cranium.

"Your _girlfriend's_ not gentle," I pointed out with a smirk.

He blinked at me a couple of times then grinned dreamily, "Oh, you mean Sakura-chan? Hehe, yeeaaaah... She's the best."

I tried to stifle a snort, failed, and mentioned, "I'm sure she'd be utterly _thrilled_ to hear you think so."

His face went pale after a moment and he urged, "Don't say anything to her, she'll—"

"Yeah, I gathered." I smirked at him. This was just too funny. "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me."

He let out a sigh of relief and then his attention jumped backwards, "Hey, what were you saying about shadow clones?"

"Oh, yeah, well, I was doing some research—" perish the thought of Naruto in the porn section, _I_ was in a place I _really_ wasn't supposed to be, "—and I happened to come upon this interesting theory. Wanna try it out with me? There's an easy way to prove if it works or not."

"Like an experiment?" He sent me a wary look. "You're not going to tie me up, or anything...right?"

I sent him a dry look. "I repeat: You _really_ need to stay out of the porn section."

"Well, what do I have to do then?" he averted his eyes with embarrassment.

"Just make a shadow clone. _One_, shadow clone. Not ten. _One_. Got it?" I told him clearly.

"That's too easy!" He grinned, then hopped up. "One shadow clone, coming right up!"

And before we knew it, there it was, standing right beside the original with an identical grin and a salute. "Here I—"

"Okay, that's just great, come with me," I grabbed the back of its collar and dragged the replica across the clearing, turning to point sternly to the original and ordered, "_You_ stay there, and cover your ears."

"Wha—why?" he asked, sending his stumbling clone concerned looks.

"Just do it! You want this to work, or not?" I shot back, and he reluctantly complied, with a pout. He didn't like being told what to do any more than I did.

"Okay, clone boy, listen up," I told it as soon as we were far enough away, and whispered something into its ear.

Its face suddenly turned bright tomato red and began to shout, "THE FUC—" And then my fist went slamming into its piehole and it dispersed in a poof of chakra smoke.

Almost immediately, the original Naruto across the clearing started shouting the exact same thing, flipping the fuck out, and I grinned. There was one theory proven. "See!? This is why I told you to stay out of the porn section!"

"That is so fucked up! Why would you—how does that even—EWW!" You just have to love the first time someone learns the truth about where babies come from. It's so adorable I could just die. And I nearly did. Laughing. He stomped over to me and demanded, "What the heck were you trying to _prove_ by telling me something nasty like that!?"

I wiped a tear from my eye and giggled, "Think about it. Technically, I didn't tell _you_ anything..."

The mortification was suddenly wiped off his face as it smoothed into thought. Then it finally sunk in and he exclaimed, "OH! That's so _cool_!"

"I thought you said it was gross," I smirked at him. "You sure grew out of your immaturity phase fast... Glad you see things my way. Now all we need to do is tell Sasuke. That'll be a fun conversation."

He seemed to picture it for a second, then promptly choked on laughter. "That's not what I meant, but yeah, that sounds like a good idea. After all, I remember during team orientation, one of his goals was to _revive_ his clan—" He cracked up, unable to finish his sentence.

I tapped my chin. "I'm not exactly sure he meant it in the way you're thinking, but... Someone should probably tell him to stop saying that... Especially around girls. Miscommunication. That's the number one cause of rape, ya know." I was fairly sure Naruto didn't even know what I was talking about.

He snorted, and plopped down next to me, his mood suddenly souring and he grumbled, "What's so great about a guy like him anyway?"

"I wouldn't worry too much about it." I punched him in the arm gently. "Girls always go for the strong, dark, silent types. At first, that is. Then, after they grow up a little, they dump all their dark, tortured, fairytale prince expectations and go for guys like you. Cause dark, fairy tail princes like Sasuke just have way too much emotional baggage." I grinned at him.

He sent me a strange look, "What kind of guy would _you_ go for?"

"Eh?" I blinked, my grin faltering. "Me? Why do you want to know?"

"I wanna know!" He insisted without explanation.

Making a face at him, I crossed my arms and explained, "Fine. If you _really_ wanna know...my first choice would be a guy with a shit ton of money—doesn't matter what he looks like, or what he acts like, he's just gotta be loaded." His jaw dropped. "As for my second choice..." I was thoughtful for a moment. "He's gotta be strong—the strongest guy I can sink my claws into and still manage to pin down. Better yet, make him the strongest, _and_ the richest, and that's my type in a nutshell...and maybe insanely hot too, but that's just a bonus option." At the distressed look on his face, I had to assume he was generalizing my rather tall order as a thing all girls were into, so I quickly salvaged the situation with a grin. "That's just me though. Don't worry. Give it a couple years, and you'll have groupies all over you."

He suddenly narrowed his eyes at me. "Why are you being so nice?"

My grin didn't falter. "Cause I want something, of course."

"Whaaaaaat?" He flopped onto his back with a groan. "What do you want _now_?"

"I want to steal your jutsu," I admitted frankly. "Well...borrow it, technically. I doubt there's any way I can actually use it in combat, like you, but even if you don't use it to spam your enemies to death, it's still pretty damn useful. I sort of need it...or I'm going to flunk out of the academy in a month."

He sat back up and fixed me with a confuddled look. "Hah? You're going back to the academy?"

"Yeah. It's this thing, between the old man and me. It's the condition for keeping my apartment while I wait for Hanako-sensei to get back—I don't have time to explain it all again. Ask Sasuke about it or something. He knows. Anyway, more importantly, I need to learn shadow clones, or I'm pretty much fucked." I held my hands up on either side of me in a shrug.

"If you can't use it to beat people up, then why do you need it?" He still seemed puzzled. Then he shot me a conspiratorial look and hissed. "You're not going to use it to tell people about the—"

"NO." I felt like slapping myself. "Didn't you learn anything? Maybe the baby making thing was too distracting..." I drooped and let out a long sigh. "and I was trying to make a point with that too." Looking back up at him, I tried explaining, "Look, if you make a shadow clone—or two, or three...or _fifty_, in your case—and send them off to do something, lift weights, or run up and down an endless staircase all day—at the _end_ of the day, when the clones disperse, all that experience returns to the original. You get what I'm saying?" I stared at him for any indication of comprehension, but when he kept staring at me with that slack face I lost patience. "If I can make shadow clones, I can use them to get stronger at _twice_ the rate I'd normally do it! Then I can be at the top of the class and keep my apartment! It's like a short cut, without actually being a short cut!" I added. "Though all that training is bound to take a toll on your body, you know, even if it's your clone doing half of it, but it's worth it."

"What? Why didn't I figure that out forever ago?" he held his head as the full implications of the technique crashed down on him in an unforgiving pile of brutality.

"You probably would've eventually." I shrugged. "Be careful though. It's really not a healthy way to train—though with your constitution, you might be able to use it more liberally than I would. I just want to use it to show the Hokage I'm taking this seriously. Once I get to the top of the class, I'm dropping shadow clones for good." I paused. "That is, assuming that you'll teach me, of course. You can still tell me to go take a hike, if you want."

"Are you kidding? This is great!" His grin stretched his face impossibly wide. "No one's gonna call you Quitter anymore! You can graduate like me, and we can go on all kinds of awesome adventures—like rescuing princesses, oh! And we can travel all over the world too, Yuka-chan—I know you always wanted to do that—and then—" He went on, and on... And the more he got into it, the more I wanted to shrink away from him. His enthusiasm reminded me of the first time we enrolled together.

And once more, I wasn't really planning on graduating at all.

In fact...I was planning my final escape even as he chatted away without a single care in the world...

* * *

"Hey, who is that?"

"Some screwup. I heard she dropped out in her first year."

"Then why is she with us? We're already in our last compulsory year. The next graduation exam is in three months."

"Special treatment is my best guess. I heard her family is a real piece of work. Probably paid off one of the higher ups..."

"That's weird. I heard her parents were dea—"

"You guys are really _loud_, you know." I sent my worst glare over my shoulder at them. But all they did was huddle in their little clique and giggle like mad. For training ninja in their last compulsory year in the academy, they had all about the subtlety of a flying boulder with spikes sticking out of it... I already wanted to go home.

"I see you've all realized we have a new student," Daikoku-sensei quieted the class by speaking over them with his booming voice. He was a large man—not large by Akimichi standards, but in the muscle category, you might describe him as somewhat of a hulking figure, with a round nose and a round face and a pointy little goatee. "Why don't you come up and introduce yourself?" ...I had a feeling I was going to hate Daikoku-sensei.

After a long moment of staring him down, and making it known with my eyes that I really didn't want to do this—which he ignored—I let out a long sigh and made the long walk down to stand at front of the auditorium oriented classroom next to the teacher. I stared at the class and they stared back at me, picking me apart with their eyes, and for a moment, I really just wanted to cut and run right there. After another long moment of silence in which the class started getting restless, the man prompted, "Go on then."

"What do you want me to say?" I hissed back.

"Your name, obviously, and..." He thought for a moment. "something nobody else knows about you. To break the ice, you know? That's all."

I didn't know about breaking the ice...but maybe this could work as an opportunity to get people to leave me the hell alone. Sighing I closed my olive eyes and tucked a stray strand of mint-green hair behind my ear before opening them again to consider my peers with an emotionless front. "My name is Yuka...and sometimes I like to sneak into my neighbor's house when he's not home and leave dead cats under his bed. I don't think he's noticed yet. The smell should probably notify him in a couple of days though..."

Dead silence. Then someone started to laugh as if he thought it was a joke, but when no one else joined him, and I made no indication as to whether I was or was _not_ joking, the laughter faded gradually and died in a pathetic sort of way. Then someone shouted, "Freak!" and that seemed to settle the matter. I was satisfied, at least. Nobody talks to freaks. And that worked out just fine for me.

I looked over at Daikoku-sensei, whom, I was proud to say, looked somewhat disorientated. If he was the one who was supposed to report back to the Hokage on me, I hoped he reported this. The old man would probably get a kick out of it. The guy deserved a laugh every once and a while. "Can we start class now? I have plans to categorize his underwear drawer later. Dead things can be stored in lots of places, you know..."

He pointed slowly back to my seat without another word, an unsettled stare trained upon my back as I went. I felt vaguely proud. Academy teachers _were_ required to be chunin after all. And though the one that guarded the restricted section was frankly inept, others were bound to be close to reaching elite levels. To have shaken someone like Daikoku-sensei—whom I was imagining only took this job to avoid becoming Jounin and the responsibilities that came with it—I wondered if I should work harder on trying to become more terrifying. I seemed to have a knack at shocking people.

Besides the stares and the whispers that would be directed towards me every time they thought I wasn't looking, the day went by in a fairly normal haze. The material, I could keep up with. Math, science, and history—I was always fairly good at them. I got my ass handed to me in sparring, but that was to be expected, and I learned a lot anyways. Daikoku-sensei observed all the matches and pointed out what the loser and the victor did wrong, and I paid close attention, even interjecting to ask detailed questions and wouldn't stop until I got a satisfying answer. I was good at learning. I always had been. I think the only reason I did so poorly the last time around was because of an acute lack of self confidence, and, most importantly, incentive. This time, I had more than enough motivation, and the idea of dicy self confidence had no place in my thoughts. I was focused on my goal. Everything in between was simply a means to an end.

I was fine until lunch hour, nothing more than a few bumps and bruises from the beating I'd taken, but it could've been worse. I'd gotten in worse scraps with Naruto and Kiba, after all. So as for gauging my level against those in the class, I was pretty sure that if I worked hard enough at it, I'd be able to slowly make my way to the top... Problem was, I didn't have _time_.

"Alright everyone, be back after the one hour recess. If I were you, I'd spend this time wisely. Progress reports come out in two weeks—that means substitution, transformation, clones, and the escape jutsu, people! Keep practicing so you can get the grade! I don't want to hear any complaints from parents..." He grumbled the last part quietly, but I was in the front row, and my ears were sharp.

Two weeks. That was all the time I had to master those techniques. Sure, I wasn't exactly being tested on them quite yet, and I was even more sure that not everyone in the class had them completely down, but at least they _knew_ them, and could perform them to a certain extent. I...I couldn't even control my chakra. Even though Naruto had tried his best to teach me shadow clones, chakra control was not his forte. I'd failed miserably. Made the hand signs correctly and everything, but there was absolutely nothing to show for any of my efforts. And after the progress report went out, it was going to go _straight_ to the Hokage. I was doomed, with a capital DOOM.

And so it was with my thoughts focused on said inevitable doom that I didn't notice the gaggle of girls trailing after me from the academy courtyard at first. But when I did, I saw that the leader, Ami, the one who had kicked my ass in sparring, was smiling at me suspiciously. Curious, I stopped and let them approach. That was mistake number one. Mistake number two was letting them talk.

"Hello. It's Yuka-chan, isn't it?" There was a distinct cruelty to her patronizing tone.

I arched a brow at her, scowling slightly. "Yes? What do you want? If it's pointers from our match, I hardly think you need them."

"No, no," she giggled, sneering to her friends who snickered as well, "nothing like that...we were just wondering... Your hair is so long, and pretty..."

Surprised, I reached up to run a hand through the mint-green curtain draped over my shoulder. I usually wore a bandana to keep it out of my face and to hide the two odd cowlicks that always cropped up on either side of my head (Hanako jokingly called them my 'ears'), but the fringe still managed to escape and tickle my cheeks irritatingly. Long, yes—I kept it that way out of sentimental reasons having to do with my mom—but pretty...? That was debatable. "You're only saying that because you don't have to live with it."

"Speaking of which, Yuka-chan... We heard you're living with Sasuke-kun. Is it true?"

I sent them all bizarre looks. "Where'd you hear _that_ from? Honestly, I can barely stand being his _neighbor_. He steals all my food." I paused, observing them closely. "I was just joking about the dead cat thing, by the way, in case you were wondering... You guys seem fond of him." Instantly, I was wary.

Ami giggled again and suddenly threaded her arm through mine as she walked, inadvertently dragging me along with her posse. "You've got an interesting sense of humor, Yuka-chan..."

"You got _that_ right..." I murmured, though 'morbid' and 'interesting' were far from the same. She seemed not to hear me.

"We were in the same class with Sasuke-kun, but none of us were put on the same team..." She sighed dramatically. "There's only a certain percentage of genin that pass their sensei's test each year, too, you know. Most of the ones who fail join the genin corps, but we were some of the few who were allowed to go back to the academy and retake the test..." In other words, they had money. Whoopde-freakin'-doo... "Which means the more genin that graduate, the less chance we have of getting on a team..." she 'hmm'ed sadly, and sat down with me on a bench under the sakura trees.

The rest of her group settled down around us, taking out their perfectly packed lunches, and another sat on the other side of me, whereupon she began playing with my hair. I didn't know why girls had the compulsion to do this. It was rude to touch other people and I certainly didn't like it. Ami was touching me too, and while most people would find it harmless, it had the distinct feel of..._not_ being harmless. I wasn't good with people, but even I could tell when cruelty was being implemented—disguised as kindness though it may be... No one just kidnaps the new girl and takes it upon themselves to invite them to lunch. At least not girls like these.

I narrowed my eyes at the arm still threaded through mine, but opted not to react. I figured if I didn't fall for their tricks, they'd get bored and leave me alone. They seemed to be simple minded type, though I got the feeling Ami could more than a little vindictive...or her punches certainly stung like she could be, anyway. This is why I didn't much like interacting with other females if I could have a choice. Guys were straight up about what they did. Even a social retard like Sasuke would call you an idiot if he thought you were an idiot, but girls... They were tricky. And mean. And vicious.

"So about that progress report..." Ami went on conversationally, moving forward from the subtle way she let me know my presence here was causing trouble for her and others. "I wonder what they'll be scoring on this time? My parents are real sticklers about it. What about you, Yuka-chan?"

She knew about my parents. That's why she asked. I smiled slowly. That's it. If she wanted to play this game with me, haha...we'd play it _my_ way. "My parents are _dead_, Ami-chan... So my report is going straight to the _Hokage_ himself. He had me specially selected and put in this class to prove I can make it to the top. I hope you enjoy a little competition."

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry," she said insincerely, completely ignoring my oh so prestigious connections and blatant challenge. "How old were you? Do you remember what they were like? It must be so hard to lose someone so close..." I heard the girl behind me pop her chewing gum, and then Ami dug her claws in even deeper as I went stony and silent. I could just see the manipulative smirk behind her mask of concern. "Did...did you watch it happen? You were from that refugee group that was taken out in front of the gates, weren't you? Weren't you the only survivor from that?" Another malicious pause in her endless intrusive questions—everyone enjoys a spectacle. "You traveled with them for a long time, ne Yuka-chan...? Who do you think the spy actually was—"

My fist came flying at her suddenly, and I think that's why it connected—the element of surprise is a powerful thing. I was just as surprised as Ami though, because my body had moved on its own, and I stood up, ripping my hair away from the other girl, whose grip had tightened in surprise at my violent response. Staring at my fist and then at Ami who held her mouth and glared at me in shocked fury—she really didn't expect me to just sit down and take it, did she?—I scowled and grated out, "I've already been through enough interrogations for one lifetime. I don't need one from you."

Ami stood up, spitting out blood from where she bit something, but then she smiled at me. "Poor Yuka-chan...you look so sad. Did I do something wrong? I thought we were friends."

Something wet was dripping down my face, and I reached up, horrified, to find tears. I didn't cry. I _never_ cried—not since that day. I stared at the spot of blood Ami had spat on the ground, suddenly transfixed. My throat closed up as memories I'd tried to drown floated inadvertently to the surface of my thoughts.

_Daddy hid me under one of the bodies—I didn't know whose—as all hell broke loose. Something was wrong with Mommy. As soon as the ninja came down from the top of the gates, steel in their eyes, she'd tensed up, her fingers curling into claws, an animalistic snarl emanating from somewhere in her chest. Mommy never made strange noises. Strange noises were rude. She rapped her knuckles on my head every time I started up. Daddy's eyes became guarded when that happened. They said they'd train it out of me. But Mommy never made strange noises._

_She made a lot of strange noises when the bloodbath came though. I never found out exactly who started it. Suddenly, people just started screaming. Some people fought though. Daddy covered my eyes and pulled me away from Mommy before she went berserk. Her claws came out, and her teeth went sharp. I wasn't sure, but I think her eyes were red...and she was happy because she was smiling. There was blood. Lots of blood. Most of the stuff that got on me came from the woman Mommy killed, and Daddy shoved me under her while he tried to calm her down. Then the Ninja hacked their way through. They got Daddy. Mommy calmed down after that. She cried while holding Daddy's hand. She said 'forgive me, forgive me' over and over again. Then they killed her too. It took a long time. No matter how many times they stabbed her with their swords, she wouldn't stop screaming. Then they cut her head off. She didn't move again after that._

_They found me after it was over. I was at Torture and Interrogation for a long time because for a long time, I couldn't speak for some reason. They told me it was due to something called shock. Then, after a nice man in a funny hat gave me some water, I told them what I saw and what I heard. They asked me about a spy, but they never found out who it was, because I didn't know either. Whoever it was was dead though. Everyone was dead._

My lips pulled back from over my teeth and I let out a savage snarl at the girl in front of me. "I don't _need_ friends."

With that, I spun on my heel, stalking away from them. I felt my face again, still bemused at the tears, trying to work out my chaotic feelings. Tears are the body's natural reaction to an overload of emotion. I didn't know what emotion I was feeling—couldn't put a name to it. Maybe it was anger, but it was much stronger than that. And it wasn't even because of Ami—though she had triggered it, or, more specifically, her _blood_ had—in fact, even though she was a bitch, I thought Ami was a little pretty. There was also a strange overpowering ache in my belly, but that was probably because I hadn't eaten anything all day.

I went home and emptied out my refrigerator. I still felt empty. It was only when I looked outside and saw the sun setting that I realized I'd forgotten to go back to the academy after lunch. Time seemed to be going wonky, because I was spacing so much it appeared to be going by faster. I'd been sitting in the dark less than thirty minutes later when a sudden dreadful dizzy feeling washed over me and I had to drag myself hurriedly on hands and knees to the bathroom where I promptly dumped all the contents of my stomach into the toilette. Only afterwards, after having to hold my hair out of the way did I notice the sticky substance in it. After a moment, my brain seemed to reboot and I rushed to my feet—dizziness dangerously ensuing once again—to check the mirror. My heart sunk at what I saw.

There, folded ever so neatly into my hair were several wads of _chewing gum_ used to hold the expertly braided knots together.

I stared at it for several seconds before, inexplicably, more tears welled up in my eyes. This time I knew where they came from though. Mom used to sit on the porch with me on hot summer days and run a pretty comb through it when I was sad. That very comb now laid upon the counter. Useless. I squeezed my eyes tightly. Then my hand blindly darted for the cabinet drawer, shoving around the contents until my fingers found what they were looking for. They emerged with a shiny, silver pair of scissors which I then used to promptly sheer off the parts that couldn't be saved. I had to do it quickly before I could stop myself, or else I'd be walking around with gum in my hair for a very long time. In the end, I was left with an uneven mess—some parts long, some parts completely sliced off—and the rest of it littered the sink and floor around me in a circle.

Staring at it in the mirror, I trembled, and then, when I couldn't bare to look at it any longer I sunk down in the middle of the bathroom to pull my knees up and rest my forehead on them. Who knew someone like me could end up so vain? But after a moment of thought, I didn't quite think that's what it was... Mom's hair used to be so pretty...

That's how he found me. Curled up on the floor and sniffling in a pile of my own chopped off hair. At that moment, I didn't even care. I just tilted my head up at him slowly, my olive eyes bloodshot and I wanted to know— "Just how did you get into my house...?"

"The same way you get in and leave dead things under my bed, apparently..." Ah. So he'd heard about that. He knelt down in front of me, crossing his arms over his knees and asked, "Why are you crying?"

I sniffed again and eyed him guardedly. But being guarded never helped with him. I figured he'd appreciate the short answer rather than a pathetic story of bullying and pretentious sore feelings. "...I miss my mom."

He didn't have anything to say to that. Instead he watched me for a long moment, until I stopped sniffling and wiped my eyes slowly with the heels of my palms. Then he reached out and took my wrist, pulling me to my feet. "Let's go."

Mutely, I followed after him until we reached the darkening streets and I asked quietly, "Where are we going?"

He didn't answer, but continued to pull me along after him without explanation. At that moment, while normally I would protest and jerk my arm back with a good verbal smack down, I honestly couldn't bring myself to care too much, even when passers by sent funny looks at my newly butchered hair-do. After a while of walking, we ended up in front of someone's door, where Sasuke knocked firmly three times.

A woman with pretty short blond hair answered it and smiled, "Oh, you're Sakura's friends, aren't you? You can go on up. She's in her room." She took one look at me though and exclaimed, "Goodness gracious, what happened?"

"Girls are crazy..." Sasuke supplied flatly, slipping past Sakura's mother uncomfortably and heading up the stairs. It seemed like he'd never been in her house before because he hesitated at a few doors before landing on the right one with a light spilling out from the crack at the end of the hall. He knocked again, three times, and when the girl poked her head out she jumped slightly.

"Sasuke-kun?" She seemed utterly shocked to find him in her house, and only spotted me after she began, "What are you..."

He shoved me towards his stunned teammate and pointed to my hair, instructing briefly, "Fix her," and apparently that was that, because he shut the door behind me, leaving me with the pretty pinkish haired girl.

She blinked at me after a moment, and I stared back with a frown, then she shook off her shock and murmured, "Hold on a second...you're that girl from the bakery. It's closed down now... How did you..." She eyed my hair incredulously.

"It's a long story, and if someone asks me about my hair one more time, I'm going to scream bloody murder." I warned her.

"Well..." She tapped her chin examining me still with a hint of befuddlement, but she shrugged. "Since Sasuke-kun brought you here, and I guess I have some time..." She approached me cautiously and led me over to sit on a stool in front of a large, full length mirror. "I'll see what I can do..." She eyed the mangled locks and ran her fingers through them gingerly, wincing as she did. She met my eyes in the mirror and asked me, "Did you get gum stuck in it?"

My lips twisted into a scowl and grated out, "One of Ami's stupid friends at the academy..."

Sakura's eyes darkened and she repeated the name under her breath a couple of time as if trying to remember and then her eyes darkened even more. "...I remember her. She used to bully me about my forehead."

I stared at her in the mirror, and after a moment of debate I concluded, "Your forehead is pretty. Ami's a jealous idiot."

She blinked in surprise, then laughed, "Why are you the one comforting _me_? You're the one who's being bullied!"

I frowned again. "I don't _get_ bullied... And besides, those were just observations, not words of comfort. Comforting someone would imply feeling sorry for them first."

She eyed me doubtfully, and held up a strand of hair that still had a speck of gum in it. "You call _this_ not being bullied?"

After a stony silence, and a moment more observing her as she picked out the pieces she could get at, I questioned quietly, "...How'd you get her to lay off?"

A bittersweet smile tugged at her lips and she replied without looking at me, "Somebody stood up for me... Ami only picks on the loners." Her eyes then flicked up once more and she insinuated, "Sound like anybody you know?"

My face soured and I avoided her eyes. "Point duly noted."

Eventually, she sighed and eyed my hair sorrowfully. "I can't do anything more about the parts that are still stuck together... I'm going to need to cut a lot off." Again, she sighed, "It's so long though... What a shame."

If _she_ seemed sad about it, imagine that tenfold. But I just looked down at my hands in my lap and murmured softly with a shrug, "...It's just hair. It grows back. That's practically its only purpose if you think about it... Think how accomplished it'll feel after it fulfills its reason for existence."

She did, running her hand through her own longish pink hair, then smiled with a giggle and admitted, "You know what? That's a good way of looking at it. But until then, I'm going to make it look really pretty, okay?"

I fought back a reluctant smile and mumbled quietly, "Thanks...Sakura-chan."

She emerged from a cabinet with a pair of scissors and a spray bottle in each hand, then got right to it. After a while of snipping in silence, she remarked in a somewhat hesitant voice, "Sasuke-kun must really like you if he brought you all the way here. He doesn't say a whole lot, but you know what they say about actions meaning more than words..."

I stared at the frown she tried to hide and sighed. "I don't think he likes me at all really. Actually, I think he might secretly hate me. He _laughed_ once when I fell down the stairs... If that doesn't scream down _dislike_ from the heavens, I don't know what else does." Granted, I probably would've laughed too if it hadn't been happening to me at the time—more so if our positions had been reversed.

She sighed too and replied, "Sometimes I don't think he likes me very much either..."

"Yeah, but you're his _teammate._ You're the one who's going to have his back when stuff gets shitty," I pointed out. "_And_ you're nice enough to put up with his bullshit. Not to mention you can scare the shit out of Naruto, which is just a bonus. You're actually kind of cool. And if he can't see that, he's just as big an idiot as Ami is."

She hesitated in her snipping, her hands drooping for a moment as she admitted. "Yeah, but...I'm not as good as they are."

"Naruto says you're really good at jutsu," I relayed, then, struck with an idea, I went on, "Speaking of which...Sakura-chan, do you know much about chakra theory and control? Naruto sucks at it, but he's still been trying to teach me... You kind of have to admire his optimism, but his hopes and dreams aren't getting me anywhere any time fast..." I sighed, my head dropping a little. "And if I don't impress Hokage-sama with my progress report in two weeks, I can kiss my apartment goodbye. Hanako-sensei left on some epic quest to find her family, shut down the bakery, and left me to fend for myself. So that was the deal when I started back up at the academy. Top of the class, or no deal. I'm out on my ass for good."

She hesitated again, and questioned, "You're Sasuke-kun's neighbor, right...?" When I nodded, she touched her lips in thought, but looked unsure, "I mean...I don't know if I'm qualified to teach, or anything..."

At her stuttering, my eyelids drooped knowingly, and I interjected. "If you help me, we can ask your mom if you can sleep over at my place every once and a while, since we're 'friends' now and all..." then added more quietly, "Maybe we can even find a jutsu that lets you peek through walls..." Her face went pinker than her hair, and she dropped the scissors, barely missing her foot. Pretending to ignore that, I went on thoughtfully. "And Sasuke comes over a lot of times when I cook dinner, seeing as how he can't cook shit... You can keep an eye on him if I need to, say...suddenly run out and get last minute groceries. I can't trust him alone with the stove after what happened last time, you see—"

"When do we start?" Her face was set determinedly with a smile. She knew what I was doing. And it was working. I grinned back at her since it seemed we'd come to an agreement. Sasuke was Sakura-bait. No two ways about it.

When Sakura finally finished with me, she walked me out of her room to find Sasuke leaning up against the opposite wall, all chill and such. I arched my brow at him as he looked over my now ear length, wedge cut hair, though Sakura had left my fringe and side-bangs alone to hang over my shoulders. He arched his brow right back at me and assessed, "You look slightly less hideous than you did before."

I debated the wisdom of slapping him, but decided against it with a shrug. "Coming from you? Flattering. Really. I applaud your complementing skills. Truly, you are as prodigious as your name implies. Seriously, Sakura-chan, aren't all Uchiha clansmen just so gentlemanly?"

"Well..." She laughed nervously, playing with her fingers. "Sasuke-kun has his moments..."

"Just take this shining example right here," I agreed.

"Sakuraaaa!" her mother called up. "Do your friends want to stay for dinner?!"

Sakura looked at us, and I looked at Sasuke. "Considering I have no food left, and it would be bad for me if you burnt down the apartment complex trying to work the microwave, Yuka finds this alternative offer highly appealing. I vote yes."

He rolled his eyes. "She's back..."

"What are you talking about, silly little boy?" I crossed my arms over my chest indignantly. "I never left. I'm still stuck here, remember?"

Just call it typical, but I swear I saw the sadistic little bastard smirk out of the corner of my eye.

* * *

**Uuuum, Orokashii here. This time, I do have something to make fun of Ashley with! Her love of Sasuke. Let it be known to all that this girl is obsessed, he can do no wrong. It's like an instinctual love that will forever burn. There, said it. **

**Also, this might be my error, but the chapter is twice as long as usual. And it may not remain this way if it just so happens that it was an error. Just saying. **

**I'm disappointed at the lack of reviewers though. I expected more out of you guys. So review this time! **

**Thanks bunches!**

* * *

_EDIT from Ash: Yo! I actually got access to a computer! Don't expect it to last for long though. But I'm still working on it! Don't worry. Anyway, Orokashii, I and everyone else who enjoys reading this owes you BIG TIME! You're the reason this is possible! And don't worry about the length, it was meant to be long ^^_

_AND I AM NOT OBSESSED! I've recently come to a realization about that actually. I've sort of grown out of my Sasuke phase. I'm still a fan, obviously, this IS obviously a semi-Sasuke-esque fic, and the love will, in fact, burn on, but I'm now more interested in characters like Itachi, Kakashi, Tobirama, Hashirama, and Madara... Because I'm just not into kids. Lol._

_Anyway, enough about my anime hunk fantasies. Nobody wants to read about that... Unless I suddenly get REALLY good at writing smut. And hey, you never know xD_

_One more big thanks to OROKASHII! Everyone else make sure and say thanks too!_


	5. WHEN THE PAST COMES BACK TO BITE

**THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE PAST COMES BACK TO BITE YOU IN THE ASS**

* * *

Training with Naruto was...actually kind of fun in an annoying, talk-you-to-death, hair-pulling, ear-biting, kind of way. Training with Sakura made my head hurt, but...I actually kind of liked Sakura, so things evened out. Training with Sasuke was _not_ fun. _At all_. Doing all three at the same time? I wanted to _kill_ myself by the end of the first week. But I could see the functionality happening. I trained with Sakura, and once the whole chakra control thing clicked, the rest came rather easily. Shadow clones were hard, and used up a hell of a lot of chakra, but if you didn't use them in bulk like Naruto, you could slip by okay with one or two. Kawarimi was fairly self explanatory, as well as the escape jutsu, but I was still working on those two. However, out of all of them, transformation came easiest. It was almost like second nature. And with shadow clones down pat (barely) I was able to conform to Sasuke's killer schedule and ended up learning on the fly how to become an expert multitasker. Even when I was sitting in class taking notes on the ninja code, I could still be training. It was goddamn useful. And you couldn't argue with the results.

I kicked Ami's ass in an amazing comeback from being dead last to up a good couple of ranks on the class sparring chart. Next I was up against a guy named Masuo, who was a lot bigger than me, a lot stronger too, and I _did_ lose to him, but again, this was sort of to be expected. Masuo was at the top of the chart in spars after all. So, he was my next target. And I was fairly confident about which strategy I would use against him next time... The same one I used against Sasuke would probably suffice: _Run like hell_—then strike when he's least expecting it. It's too bad Sasuke _always_ expected it. I'd yet to get a hit on him. But in comparison, Masuo was a _pansy_. I had nothing against the guy—he was actually pretty nice about handing me my ass—but it was just the facts. In any case, my next goal was to have him beat by the end of the week.

One downside to shadow clone training, however, was the immense strain it put on the body. I wasn't used to all the crazy exertion just yet, and my system was still struggling to acclimate. Every night, I'd turn in early, falling into a death-like sleep, and waking up was even harder than normal. The upside to this was that I was usually so fucking tired that even my usual nightmares decided to give me a break. Dreams at all seemed not to be in the cards for my foreseeable future at the academy. However long that might be, though, was up to fate... I'd been honestly overjoyed when I received a letter from Hanako.

**Hey, Squirt!**

**Just got back from chasing down my lead! And now I've got another one. Thrilled, aren'cha? Anyway, they were here alright, but I was too late. This guy says I can head 'em off in Nami no Kuni though if I hurry. They're not gettin' away from me this time, Yuka, I can feel it!**

**Be good~ I'll be back soon! (Hopefully)**

I stared at the scrawling script with a scowl. _Hopefully? _Hopefully_?! That's not good enough! If you don't get here before graduation, I'm screwed! How could you do this to me?! I hate you!_

I flung the letter away, and, when my ears were met with a flapping noise, turned around curiously to see that it had been caught by someone. Scowling, I grated out, "What are you doing in my house without my permission again?!" I paused, then focused on the more important point, "How do you keep getting _in_?"

He directed a thumb over his shoulder towards the the sliding door to my balcony...which was right next to his. Brilliant. "You really shouldn't leave your doors unlocked." He then turned his attention back to the missive in his hand and arched his brow.

Glowering at him, I pointed out, "And now you're reading my mail. To think you once called _me_ nosy... Hypocrite." I turned away from him, leaning back in my chair with a crabby scowl aimed at the wall. I honestly didn't care anyway. I was just giving him a hard time because he was _there._

He sat down in the chair across from me, ignoring me in favor of the letter, completely unapologetic, then slid it back across the table towards me when he was done. "Nami no Kuni. Our team was just assigned a C-rank escort mission there. I came over here to tell you training will be suspended until further notice."

I eyed him incredulously. "A C-rank mission? From a tiny country like Nami no Kuni? That's..." I paused, my face becoming suspicious, mirroring his own. "..._coincidental._" There was a silence between us at the unspoken understanding. It was _too_ much of a coincidence. And we'd already established that neither one of us believed in that sort of thing anyway. Narrowing my eyes I warned, "Hanako-sensei may try to play everything off cheerfully, but she made something clear to me before she left... Whatever trouble she's into is _dangerous._" Staring at him pointedly, after a pause, I told him, "...Keep your eyes peeled. This doesn't sound like a normal C-rank mission to me."

He gave me a calculated look, as if asking, _Who do you think I am_?

I let out a heavy sigh, standing up and making my way to the door, holding it open for him. "I'll see you off, I guess. Seeing as how I've lost my only three training partners, I haven't anything better to do at the moment..."

I watched as he packed stuff up. We hadn't gotten to the mission preparations section at school yet, so I silently took mental notes as he lined up supplies, asking questions every now and then.

"You're taking this seriously," he noted, as we walked out of the complex.

I arched a brow at him. "You _said_ to take it seriously. So that's what I'm doing. You better follow your own advice."

"Hmph." That was his version of a laugh. "You worried?"

I sent him a sideways glare, but admitted reluctantly, "...Yeah. I've got a bad feeling about this. Promise me something."

He eyed me warily. "What do you want?"

"Make sure Naruto doesn't end up dead. Keep an eye on him. Same with Sakura-chan." I frowned. "And if you find out anything about Hanako-sensei...keep me posted."

He looked half decided between calling me a worrywart, and telling me off, but he did neither. This was one of those choose your battles wisely things, and he chose correctly, with a one shouldered shrug. "Whatever..."

"Good." I elbowed him in the arm. "Race you?"

He sent me a wary look. It _was_ the village gates after all... "You don't have to—"

"You're gonna lose!" I took off like a bullet, leaving him in the dust. But not for long. For all intents and purposes, Sasuke was obviously much faster than I was. But that was on the training grounds. This was not. Plus, now he was weighted down by a full travel pack, and I knew how to use the surroundings to my advantage. Today was Cart Day—the day when all the businesses got restocked. Sasuke wouldn't know this, seeing as how he had never been employed in a bakery before. Wish I could've seen his expression when he got a face full of chicken. No, I mean I threw an actual chicken at his face. He dodged the first one by bending backwards in an almost disturbing show of flexibility, but I timed the second throw precisely, so that when he straightened back up, he was spitting out feathers. It was funny, but it ticked him off, and when he got ticked off, he got trickier. Cart Day may have been a surprise with all the traffic and congestion in the streets, but he was a fast learner.

We ended up neck and neck when we arrived at the gates and he elbowed me back from before. "You like to cheat."

I sent him a shit-eating grin and waved my fingers at him, "Hello? Psudo-ninja here. You don't like dirty fights, stay off my playground." After a second, I reached up to pluck a feather out of his hair, and he glowered at me. At that, I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to laugh at him. But it faded as I looked passed him out the main gates. An odd feeling of fear gripped me, and somehow I remained frozen to the spot. That was until I was tackled by a certain hyperactive idiot.

"Yuka-chaaan! You came to see me off—" I couldn't help it. I opened my mouth and bit down hard. "OW! _What_ the—Yukaaa! Why do you always do that?!"

"Natural reaction," I supplied, brushing myself off as I stepped away from him. "You bring it on yourself."

"You _bit_ me! How is that in any way _natural_?!" He swung his arms a bit to emphasize his point.

I held my hands out on either side of me in a careless shrug. "You surprised me. Just felt like the right thing to do at the time."

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not nice to bite your friends?" Someone bopped me on the head with something hard. A book, I realized, then aimed a glare at the useless jounin who owned it.

"Mom might've mentioned it a few times...or a hundred." I shrugged. "Seeing as how she died right _there_," I pointed to a spot directly outside the gates. "I don't exactly have to listen to her anymore, do I?"

There was a long, awkward silence, and the teacher sighed, patting me on the head sympathetically. "You really know how to make everyone around you feel awful. I suppose that's one of your talents..." I crossed my arms and looked away from him stubbornly. After a moment, he asked, "You know, my favorite bakery recently shut down... You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

"If you run into Hanako-sensei out there, you can ask _her._.." I grumbled.

"Unhelpful, as usual." He sighed.

"Look who's talking," I shot back with a scowl.

But he wasn't listening, looking back over his shoulder to make out the forms of his third student and an old man. "Looks like Sakura-chan and Tazuna-san are here."

Sakura seemed puzzled when she came up to meet us. "How come _I'm_ the last one here. This doesn't make any sense. Sensei, you're always late."

"Am I getting scolded for being on time?"

"No, but—"

"Then let's see," He paused, taking a head count. "One, two, three, Tazuna-san—looks like everyone's accounted for—Yuka-kun, you're staying here."

I sent him a sour look. "I _know_ that."

"Really, no matter how I look at it, all I see is a bunch of super-brats..." the client—I assumed he was Tazuna-san—griped, taking a swig out of a large sake bottle.

I snorted, and shot a smirk at him. "Haha...hey, you get what you pay for."

All three members of team seven aimed glares at me.

"Yes, yes, you're very funny, Yuka." Kakashi patted my head infuriatingly as Tazuna sent me an odd look. Then surprisingly, he agreed. "You're also right. But don't worry. I'm a jounin. You'll be perfectly safe with me around, Tazuna-san."

"Hey, hey, Yuka-chan." Naruto sent me a shit-eating grin. "I'm leaving the village before _youuuuu_—"

Without thinking about it, I punched him in the face. Didn't even feel sorry afterwards. "You deserved that." With that accomplished, I turned on my heel with a wave at them all as the boy shot curses after me, but aimed a glare back at Sasuke and ordered, "Hey, You! Remember your goddamned promise! Or I will find you and make you sorry!"

He made a face at me and Sakura sent a strange look between the two of us before she murmured to the scowling boy, "Ne...Sasuke-kun, what promise—"

"She's saying unnecessary things again..."

To tell the truth, I was worried as hell. What was worse, I couldn't even pinpoint _why._ Although that Tazuna guy had looked really familiar... I couldn't put my finger on it. I was halfway home by the time it hit me, and I felt like Naruto had just clobbered me with a shit ton of clones when it finally did. I even ran all the way back to the gates, jumping over and ducking under carts, sending chickens flying in every direction. I was a mess when I got back nearly five minutes later... I shouted curses up at the sky when I found they'd already disappeared.

"Oi!" called one of the familiar chunin guards, "Would ya keep it down?!"

Furious and agitated as I was, I had absolutely no reservations in cheerfully flipping him off. The other guard just laughed at his spiky haired friend who stared after me in wide-mouthed reproach. Ha. Let them be shocked. That was my specialty after all.

Oh, and stockpiling useless information apparently. Since it couldn't help anybody _now..._

I sighed heavily and eyed the top of HQ towering over the rest of the village. I was pretty sure they had messenger birds there...but they were for authorized users only. Not to mention, I hadn't the faintest _clue_ how to go about using them. To think I'd been reduced to using _carrier pigeons_...

...Well, _fuck_.

Panic time? I think yes.

* * *

**A FEW DAYS EARLIER**

It was like the axe weighed nothing. And Tazuna found it very hard to believe that it was a _woman_ twirling it around like that no less. She looked to be around her late twenties, if that. And she was holding off the throng of thugs as if they were nothing. He'd never seen so much blood before, not even when...he didn't like to think of that. In any case, this was worse. And each time she cut a man in half, he could hear the woman laughing harder until it became a crescendo into something like insanity. And the _screaming_… He'd never heard men scream like that before. There was an aura of blood in the air that made him almost picture himself in the place of a man that had just been cleaved apart by the waist. He had to get away. If not, he was positive he was going to die in that derelict square.

And with that thought in mind, he turned tail and ran. His only thoughts were of escape. Run, escape, live. He needed to get back to Tsunami and Inari. They were counting on him. Everyone was counting on him. If he died here, everything would be lost. The blueprints he'd consulted with his more experienced colleagues about would be useless. He'd been tracking down his contacts for a month, and finally, his hard work had been rewarded...just for everything to go to hell in a handbasket. Those thugs...had to have been sent by Gatō. It had his handiwork written all over it. Some of them had been shaky with withdraw. Tazuna could see the signs. Gatō was probably withholding drug shipments to get that gang to do his dirty work. Narcotics were just as dangerous a weapon as that axe in his opinion... It's how he'd taken over the country. Money, threats...and addiction.

It was his job to stop it, once and for all. And he'd be damned if he was going to lie down and die in some filthy back ally far from his home—

"My, my, what do we have here...?"

That was the last thing he heard before there was a sharp pain in the back of his neck and black spots clouded his vision, slowly spreading as he fell and plunging him into darkness...

Waking was a slow thing. And boy, was he _super_ sore. He likened it to waking with an enormous hangover. That was the first thing he noticed. Second, the surface he was on seemed to be moving in a slow, rhythmic pattern. A cart, maybe? He groaned and tried moving. Bad idea. But he forced himself to wake up anyway. Maybe a more subtle approach? He tried slowly blinking his eyes open, and the first thing he saw was the sky overhead, blue and cheerful. Funny how it always seemed to reflect the _opposite_ of what he was feeling at the time.

"Oh, you're awake. 'Bout time." The familiar feminine voice sent a jolt of adrenalin through his system and he jolted up hurriedly pinpointing the woman who was unfortunately situated in close proximity to his person, sharpening her fearsome executioner's axe nonchalantly. But his senses seemed to indicate no current threat, as the aura of death appeared to have passed, and, sans the axe sharpening, she seemed...normal. Beautiful, actually, but he'd seen what she could do, so he remained on high alert. But since she wasn't attacking...

"Wha'd'ya want with me?" he garbled out, still somewhat dazed.

"Straight to the point, hmm?" she hummed, pausing in her sharpening to turn and look back at him with a grin. "I like that in a man." He was stunned to see two rows of filed, shark-like teeth. She blinked once at his expression and giggled. "Don't worry. Everyone reacts like that at first. That's sorta the point. Back where I come from, we use it as a fear tactic, 'cause sometimes that in itself can be used as a weapon. Try not to mind it too much. Ya got nothing to fear from me...for the moment."

Still guarded, but relaxing somewhat, he sat up, rubbing his aching neck. He shot her a distrusting look and demanded, "Who are you?"

She thought for a moment, as if musing to herself about something obscure, then shrugged. "I suppose it can't hurt to tell ya the truth. The name's Momochi Matsuki...and I'm looking for my bastard of a husband. Ya seen this guy around?" She held up a picture of a fierce looking man and three kids along with herself. One of them, a girl—or was it a boy? He couldn't tell—looked a bit older than the other two and stood next to the man with a serene smile on his..._her_ face, while the remaining kids seemed to be...twins? Not identical, but definitely related. "I don't suppose you have, otherwise you'd probably be dead." She shrugged again, then pointed out, "This is my husband's apprentice. Sweet kid, but can't think for himself to save his life. These two are mine—Hangetsu is the oldest and Yangetsu is the youngest." Both sported their mother's filed teeth and had ash blond hair—the only difference in them being one's stuck out every which way, like his father's, and the other's fell lightly to his shoulders.

His only response was to note flatly, "I suppose even super-axe murderers have families..."

She seemed to be having trouble trying not to laugh, because she let out a dainty little snort as if remembering something hilarious. "Ahaa...sorry 'bout that. I get a little carried away sometimes. And it's been a while since I've had that much fun. I was laying low for a bit after the Great Purge, ya see. Gathering information. Trying to find leads."

He eyeballed her for a moment, frankly disturbed by this woman's idea of 'fun,' but his curiosity drove him to ask, "'Purge'? What do you mean by that? I'm just a simple bridge-builder, what information do you need from me?"

"Information? From you, Sir?" She blinked innocently at him. "How do you know I wasn't just being a good samaritan, or somethin'—savin' you from those weaklings an' all?" He stared at her flatly in response until she laughed and waved him off. "Okay, okay, ya got me. I'm just jerkin' your leg. I guess I should start at the beginnin' then, huh?"

"That would be super-helpful." He nodded back.

"Alright, but before that...I need a drink..." She reached back and pulled out a large bottle of sake, uncorking it, then throwing her head back and downing a long swig of the stuff. She finished with an audible 'ahh' then handed the bottle off to him. "Ya look like you could use one too, Old Man."

Tazuna, still struggling to kick the stuff couldn't help but agree, and replied, "Don't mind if I do..." He'd just witnessed the brutal murders of several human beings, and badly wanted to forget—or at least numb the residual horror just a bit. He figured one drink couldn't hurt...

He passed it back, even though it still didn't seem like enough, but then the woman, Matsuki, went on to explain in a serious voice, devoid of the accent he'd grown used to, "As I'm sure you've already guessed, I am a ninja—a Jounin of the Village Hidden in the Mist, or, as some call it, Blood-Mist Village." She smirked somewhat bitterly, one of her gruesome teeth overlapping her lip to make it that much more disturbing. "I was born originally as _Houzuki_ Matsuki, but I suppose that won't mean much to a fine, upstanding citizen such as yourself. As it would turn out, I was born, raised, and educated in my clan for the sole purposes of torture, assassination, and espionage... However, surviving _that_ was only the half the battle. I still had the graduation exam at the academy to look forward to..." She laughed darkly. "which came as a bit of a nasty surprise, seeing as how it entailed several fights to the _death_ against your comrades whom you would inevitably come to know and love. However, my graduation year was a little bit different... It seemed my future husband had gotten it into his mind to walk in and _slaughter every single last one of us_. He's always been like that. Making split second decisions without asking _anyone else's_ goddamned opinion about them..." Her fingers tightened on her axe and she took another long drink before passing the bottle back to Tazuna. "For some reason, he left me alive, and I ended up _marrying_ the sorry sonofabitch. Funny how things turn out, yeah?"

"I'd say..." he agreed grimly, reluctantly gulping down another dose of alcohol. It still wasn't enough.

"Turns out, he wasn't as much of a demon as everyone thought he was. Loved the village with all his heart, that one. He even joined the special assassinations unit—infamously monikered as the seven swordsmen—and my oldest nephew took right on after him. Took in a poor orphan kid with a bloodline limit—special genetic abilities—too, which brings us to your question. The Purge."

She sighed. "One day, Mizukage-sama went completely bat-shit insane, and that's all I can say for it. One day he was fine, and the next, he turns around and starts ordering the eradication of all clans with bloodline limits. I mean, sure, there was anti-bloodline sentiment before in localized groups—people get scared of people that are different, you know—but never in such large scale. With the Mizukage backing them, they started an all out purge—hence the name. And that wasn't even the worst of it. It seems Mizukage-sama had been going downhill since a long time before the Purge even _started_. He was the reason the cutthroat academy policy was even inducted in the first place. But the policy in the beginning of his office was completely different. There was a 180° turn around somewhere down the line as if an entirely different _person_ were calling the shots—_not_ the Yagura-sama everyone loved. And then...my husband pulled the stunt he'd been planning ever since before the incident at the academy, apparently. One day, out of the blue, without even _consulting_ me about it..." This seemed to be the key point here. "he staged a _coup_! And what's worse, along with promoting the start of an all out civil war, it _failed_!"

She slammed her fist down on the wood of the cart they were traveling on, at which point, Tazuna vaguely noticed a rectangular glowing tag with odd, archaic symbols on it pulsating strangely. But his attention was brought back to the volatile woman, who was gripping her axe dangerously in her anger. "And it gets even worse...in the chaos, the bastard took off with the kids and _left me to die_..." Her teeth were bared in a snarl, and to Tazuna, she looked frankly anything _but_ the beautiful woman she pretended to be. She was a mother out for blood. And, with her explanation, he honestly couldn't blame her. After all, he knew if anything were to happen to Inari, he and Tsunami wouldn't rest well until the ones responsible were brought to justice. He assumed this Matsuki had a different sense of 'justice' however...

"That's one hell of a story..." He nodded to her in something like respect. "But I still don't know what any of that has to do with me."

Her anger seemed to dissipate slowly out of her frame as she turned her blue gray eyes to fix upon him with a slight tilt of her head and a mild smirk. "You're my key to finding him. I want my kids back, and I'm going to _kill_ him for not only taking _them_, but my _home_ away from me as well. Now...I understand you're familiar with a man named Gatō." Her smirk turned into a full on grin as she watched his face change. "And it seems I am correct... Here's how this is going to work, Mr. Tazuna. You're going to tell me everything I need to know about this man, or—"

"I wouldn't suppose you'd take _him_ out too on your way to that super-husband of yours, would you?" He interrupted in a moment of bitterness as he took another gulp of alcohol. "It'd make my job a lot easier..."

She stared at him, intrigued. "Seems as if you have quite the story as well, Mr. Tazuna... Tell me, and maybe I'll consider it... Call it a pro bono assassination." She giggled at the thought.

He eyed her warily over top his round glasses, but drawled through the beginning hazes of alcohol impairment, "I don't see why not. You've been honest with me—which is more than I would expect from someone like you—and I've got nothing to hide after all..." He went on to tell her the rest, all of it, down to the nitty gritty death of his son-in-law and the loss of hope for his country, and finally, the goal he was dead set on accomplishing. She listened with avid attention, switching the bottle back and forth several times, but for some reason, unlike Tazuna, she seemed to have an infallible tolerance to the stuff. If he thought about it for a second, he could almost be having this conversation with a beautiful, sympathetic woman and not a beautiful, deadly assassin. And so that's what he did. It was just easier that way.

And for some reason, it also softened the blow when she 'hmm'ed in contemplation after he'd finished his story. "Ya know...I _was_ just going to kill you after all this was over—loose ends and such. Don't take it personally—but I think I've changed my mind. You and I...we're not so different. We've both lost our homes, in one way or another. You might even say you're worse off than I am..." She lapsed off in thoughtful pause, then smiled at him genuinely. "In any case, you've been more than helpful. I'll try to return the favor. Where'd you say you were headed again?"

"K-konoha..." He sputtered, still dazed by the fact she'd been planning on killing him. But then, maybe that's why she'd spoken so freely. There's no risk telling a dead man all your secrets... Then again, he wasn't planning on talking anyway, because it went without saying she'd come after him with a bloody vengeance if he did.

Her smile brightened considerably at the mention of his destination and she chirped, "Brilliant. This works out well for me. Do me a favor, will ya?" She then took a moment to pull out a scrap of paper and an envelope from the pack on her hip and talked as she scrawled out a short note. "Deliver this to apartment D-14 Hanamichi complex across from Sakura Lane when ya get there, 'kay? There's this kid—real piece of work, but she's interesting. She'll want to know what I'm up to. Don't let her see you deliver it, 'cause I know she'll have questions and she won't let you off the hook until ya answer 'em. Got me? I like you, Old Man, I really do. Don't make me regret leavin' ya alive." She sealed the note, then handed it off to him. Afterwards, she tilted her head and questioned, "Why were ya headed to Konoha again? Seems like it'd be simpler just to head back home, yeah?"

He shook off his uneasiness, seeing as how she seemed to be—at the moment—against killing him, and answered. "Because of people like those men you murdered. Gatō's got a price on my head. I need super-protection if I'm ever going to get back home in one piece."

"Hmm... Escort mission, huh?" He hummed, eying him carefully. "I only found around about fifty-thousand ryo in your bag. Don't be mad at me for snooping. It's just what I do. Anyway, that's about enough money to hire a team of genin to weed your garden... What you're thinking of is easily a B-rank mission or above... At least that's how it works in Konoha."

Flustered, he took another swig of sake and grated out, "Well, unless you're offering—"

"Sorry!" She grinned, holding her hand up to stop him right there. "No can do! I'm way too busy. Plus, you're slow, and old, and you'll only get in my way."

"Well, at least I can always count on you to be brutally _honest_..." He rolled his eyes at her blunt response.

She giggled, and shook her head at him as if he had just accused her of doing something obscene. "Oh, Tazuna-san...don't _ever_ think that." She then fished through her hip pack and withdrew a pack of bills, handing them over and surprising him immensely, "In addition, I still need you to deliver that message, so take this as payment. This cart should get you the rest of the way to Konoha and the cash should at least get you a decent C-rank mission, and that should be enough to get you back home! Maybe then we'll run into each other again, hmm? I'll be looking forward to it!" She then hopped off the back of the cart before he could protest, and waved at him with a pointy-toothed smile and the cheerful reminder, "Remember! If you talk...I'll kill you!"

Tazuna gulped with mute horror, and waved back weekly as she disappeared in a splash of water in front of his very eyes. After a moment, he cursed and thanked his lucky stars she'd left the sake bottle with him. He needed to be drunk for this—Tsunami's nagging be damned. Maybe then he could imagine it was all just a horrible, alcohol fueled nightmare. It's too bad he woke up in Konoha a day later to a _real_ hangover and a chicken pecking him in the head.

And when he checked his pocket..._the letter was still there_.

It seemed as if he had a delivery to make.

* * *

"...Is there a _reason_ you tried to sneak into the aviary, Yuka-chan?"

I stared flatly back at him from across the desk, covered in scratches from multiple tiny talons, and replied quietly, "I was trying to send a message..."

"Well, yes, obviously...but to whom? And for what purpose?" He steepled his fingers as he stared back gravely. "You understand why I can't just let this go. You could be in serious trouble. I wouldn't want you to end up back at Torture and Interro—"

"Okay, _okay_," I grated out through my teeth, my mind narrowing down and running frantically through lists of excuses and half-truths until I finally landed upon the most desperate one I could concoct. Then again, desperate times... "I just...had a bad feeling."

The Hokage frowned and eyed me with confusion. In all honesty, he was right. This could be a lot worse. But I was a kid. And he knew me. He knew what I was and wasn't capable of, and betraying Konoha wasn't one of those things. Despite all I boasted about wanting to leave this town behind in the dust, and how mentally evolved I was, I hadn't _completely_ escaped the brainwashing. What's worse is that some of it wasn't brainwashing at all. That's the best kind. Fact of the matter was, for all the bad, there was also good here. Good people too. They didn't deserve to be betrayed. I knew that. He knew that I knew that. And that was all there was to be said about the matter.

However, something seemed to be puzzling him. "Why don't you explain to me what you mean by this...'bad feeling.' Better yet, start over. Who were you trying to contact?"

I stared down at my hands in my lap, brain still working furiously towards what was safe to withhold and divulge. But I was already in deep shit, not to mention caught red handed, so some sacrifices had to be made. "...Team Kakashi. They left on an escort mission about a week ago."

"And this...'bad feeling' you're talking about. You think their mission has been compromised?" He was taking this dead seriously. Something I was not hoping for in the least. In fact, I was counting on him to do the opposite. "Do you have any evidence to back this up?"

Pursing my lips, I contemplated handing him the crumpled up letter in my pocket, but decided against it. I wasn't going to throw Hanako-sensei to the dogs. Besides, I wasn't working for that angle. I was just trying to get my ass out of this situation...and then go back and try again. So I grumbled out, "...No."

Yet he still considered me critically. Damn, Hiruzen was, if anything, growing even _more_ cunning in his old age. Didn't he have better things to be doing than listening to a juvenile breaker and enterer. Apparently not... "There must've been _something_ to bring on this feeling of yours that you'd go so far as to break into a highly protected building just to send out a message. It might've even worked too, if you'd had any idea how to use messenger birds in the first place..." He looked on the verge of laughter.

Clenching my scratched up fists in my lap, I glared at him and shot out, "Look. I had a bad dream, okay? That jerk Sasuke almost _died_, and I freaked out, alright? In my experience, it's better to be safe than sorry. Are we done?"

He stared at me for a long moment, and I fidgeted uncomfortably under his eyes until he murmured, "No, not quite, I don't think..." I sighed, but looked up in surprise as he went on, "Yuka, I think it is good that you are worried for your comrades' safety. You've made vast improvements in your attitude these past few weeks, and I think your friends have a lot to do with it. When you're forced out of your comfort zone, you adapt—sometimes in ways that are self-destructive when left alone, but I digress... You can be extremely resourceful when given the proper shove in the right direction." He spoke in a matter-of-fact sort of tone, without bias, or any real opinion of his own. "I've been keeping an eye on your scores at the academy, as I said I would, and the results are more than I could've hoped for someone so long out of proper instruction. I believe if you'd applied yourself before, you'd have been nothing short of prodigious—perhaps even graduating before your year group."

"...I thought early graduation during peacetime was some sort of major social faux pas," I grumbled dubiously at the praise—matter-of-fact though it may have been.

"In your case, things may have been a little different..." He pointed out. "But since that's in the past, and this is now, things may have worked out for the better. I believe you've reached the top of the charts in your class's sparring records, yes?"

Frowning, I shrugged. At least the conversation seemed to have shifted from T&I. "I beat Masuo on Friday. He's big, but he's not very smart... I got called out for foul play though, so the match was undecided..."

"Yes, Daikoku-sensei told me that quite fervently in his report... I've never exactly seen the point of fair play during a real fight, however, so the point is therefore moot." He shuffled through some papers on his desk until he came upon a file with my picture scowling up at us, pinned to the folder with a paperclip, then he flipped it open, and shuffled some more papers around before he continued. "As for intellectual scores, to my knowledge, you've never had a problem with such things. Although your teamwork skills are what worry me the most. However..." He eyed me dubiously. "with your display tonight, I hardly doubt that will be a problem with the right placement. I'd almost grown to believe you lacked the _ability_ to play nice with others..." I sent him a sour look. "But don't think I don't know about your extracurricular training schedule. I've seen how you cooperate with those you've come to know, and _care about_—don't try to deny it. Your actions tonight, however unfounded, prove this to be a fact."

I'd opened my mouth to argue, but closed it again as I realized with a dawning horror that he might just be right. After all, why try to warn them at all? What did I gain? My raise? Ha! With Hanako gone, it was unlikely I'd ever see anything of the sort. Yet still, even after she left, I'd continued to associate myself with Sasuke, Naruto, and even _Sakura_, who I had no real obligation to. Sure, they helped me with training, and stuff, and Naruto was Naruto, but then how do you explain stupid _Kiba_! I'd let my guard down. It was the only explanation. And now I was already screwed. I felt my head drop in defeat. "...What do you want me to say then? So what if you're right? It's not like it makes things any different... My feelings are still the same."

"Hmm, maybe so..." He agreed with a slow nod, studying the file again, but his eyes flicked back up to study me critically. "Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of considering those. As it is now, I believe you should be ready to take the next graduation exam in a month, and I _expect_ you to do so if you wish to remain in the program."

"_What_?!" I exclaimed, shooting from my seat. How did the conversation suddenly turn into this? "How can you even—you're _crazy_—"

"And _you're_ out of line. Sit _down_." His face suddenly went hard and I felt a burst of fear that had me dropping back into my seat without argument. This wasn't the Hokage that sat with me and patted my back after he brought me a glass of water when I was being interrogated about spies and dead parents. This was the Hokage that issued out orders and assassination missions.

But still, I couldn't just sit there and let it happen. "Look. I'm sorry. It's just not possible! I've worked hard, yes, but I'm still not even close to catching up with someone like Sasuke, Sakura, or even _Naruto_." I then listed off the jutsu I knew on one hand, "Kawarimi works one out of five times for me, I can do clones, sure, and maybe squeeze out two or three shadow clones—_barely functioning shadow clones_—if I'm really, _really_ determined. But that's _it_—"

"And Transformation?" He inquired, "Traps? Accuracy? Strategy? What about those?"

"That's _different_—" I tried to insist, but he cut me off again.

"Of course it is. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, Yuka, including you. It has a lot to do with your genetics—"

"What do you know about my _genetics_!?" I hollered. What the hell did that even have to do with any of this?

"More than you do." He told me gravely, and from his tone, I got the feeling he wasn't sugarcoating it for me. "If what we learned from your Mother's autopsy is to be trusted, you have the potential to either become an asset to this village or a _threat_ to it. I'd rather it not come to that—"

Staring at him in bewilderment I choked out, "...What are you _talking_ about? I didn't know she had an autop—hold on—_why wasn't I told about any of this_—"

"You were too young. You weren't ready. You _still_ aren't..." He sighed, and eyed me warily. "The day your group arrived at the gates was a dark day here in Konoha... There have been too many of those recently. In any case, you need to be smart about this, Yuka. There are people in this administration that would _use_ you...given the proper circumstances. So understand, you need to put your personal issues aside, because the sooner you graduate...the sooner I can start _protecting_ you. You'll be under _my_ direct command."

Still beyond confused I stared at him in complete shock. "What...you don't mean _ANBU_? You can't seriously be thinking—"

"It's a possibility. If I don't plan ahead, then you could be picked up right out of the Academy and enlisted in something out of my hands. There are risks to that I don't even want to contemplate. We don't know enough about your mother's heritage to be sure of anything, but intelligence picked up some rumors of a certain clan near Kusagakure... I don't want to jump to conclusions, and it's too dangerous to investigate further at the moment, but I believe, if pushed, it's possible you could become a weapon that could backfire severely, and I won't subject the citizens of this village to another incident like that of twelve years ago...or _worse_. That's all you need to know for now. That, and graduating from the Academy as fast as possible would be best course of action for _everyone_—"

"Oh yeah?!" I nodded, my anger flaring up. "And what about our deal? Huh? What about what's best for _me_?!"

He stared at me wearily for a long moment, "...I won't lie to you. If Hanako returns, she will be questioned. She was interrogated six years ago when you arrived here, but my head interrogator had a hunch she might've been holding something back. It's not customary to hold civilians on a hunch, though, so she was set free. I assigned Kakashi to keep an eye on her. Yet the fact that she still managed to leave Konoha without anybody but _you_ knowing about it begs the question of whether or not she was ever a civilian at all..."

My brow furrowed at the unfairness of it all. "That's bullshit! She's a _baker_, for the love of— She's just looking for her family! They got separated during the war! I knew her before we even got to Konoha!"

"And no one would be happier than I would to find that to be the truth, however," he replied gently in a way that made me glare at him—it sounded patronizing to me. "it is also a truth that she has not told you everything. For instance, has she ever talked about where she comes from?" I opened my mouth to answer right away, but closed it again slowly when I realized I _didn't know_. Hanako had told me lots of _stories_ from where she came from. Funny ones about her home town, and I think I vaguely remembered her telling me about a nephew or two in passing before but...as for location? I had nothing. My silence seemed to confirm that, and the Hokage nodded once. He seemed nothing but sympathetic as he went on. "Believe me, I'd like nothing more than for the two of you to waltz out of this village hand and hand. It would save me a lot of paperwork. But if that happens, what guarantee do I have that she will not use you for her own purposes? Or worse, a weapon against us?" He stopped me before I could interrupted heatedly with merely a raised hand as he explained, "I will honor our deal, should Hanako return before graduation...but only after _thorough_ questioning, an integrity assessment, and proof that she is physically able to handle the burden that comes with you..."

I clenched my fists tightly, glaring at the scraped knuckles that were turning white, and, after debating with myself about whether I really wanted to know, or not, I grated out, "...What _burden_ are you talking about?"

"I'm still not quite sure myself. The investigation remains ongoing. I have a suspicion that your mother was from what was once a very dangerous sect of religious fanatics...though what they worshipped was no god. What became of them...no one is a hundred percent certain. The last anyone heard of them was before even the warring clans era, and records are spotty from that period at best. But what we've managed to find is...not good." He sighed, shaking his head. "My task force managed to track down leads as far as Kusagakure, but then the trail went cold...and with the incident with the Refugee Riot finally starting to smooth over, and tensions increasing elsewhere, I had to pull back my resources to focus on more pressing matters. However, if you play your cards right, I could assign you to another task force... It might be a good idea for you to tag along this time. Or you could leave with Hanako. She may have information, and she may not—"

"I remember, she said...she said something like, 'Don't go poking through prickly bushes...a fox might jump out.'" I frowned at the odd saying. And in a rare moment of self doubt, I admitted tentatively, "I know she knows something...but she wants me to leave it alone. She seemed...disturbed." Hanako was many things, but if there was one thing I knew for sure, she was _not_ a pushover. Whatever had her spooked...had to have bad news written all over it. But still...

"I won't lie to you," he repeated, shaking his head. "...Most of the information we found _was_ disturbing. It's not a job for the faint of heart. But graduate with top marks, and I'll put you on the case. Who knows? Your presence could prove to be useful." He sighed. "It's your decision. But whatever that may be, make it soon. My colleagues are starting to become nervous. Also, keep in mind that whatever personal affection I have for you—and I _do_ care about you, please know that—the _village_ is my first and primary concern..." A pause as this sunk in, and then he said quietly, "I _can't_ hold them off forever, Yuka..."

My lips pursed as I studied a spot on his desk, carefully avoiding his eyes and noticing the intricate way the grain of the wood curved around an eye in the polished oak surface. For some reason, a tremor went though my voice as I agreed, "...Yeah. I get it." But then, I felt a strange calmness wash over me out of nowhere. It was like the big picture slid into place in front of my eyes and I spoke without thinking, without boundaries. "You know, I think you do the best that you can... I know it seems like I hate you sometimes, but I actually admire you in some ways...I sure as hell don't envy you though." A smile played at my lips with a sort of gallows humor in my eyes that only I could understand. "I bet if you could go back in time and change everything, you'd find a way to save my parents...and Sasuke's...maybe even Naruto's... Because you _do_ care. That's why you're good at your job...even though caring only makes it harder." I wondered if kids my age were supposed to feel so bitter. "...That's why I'd _suck_ at your job."

He stared back at me for a long time. "...Don't sell yourself short. You never know what'll happen in the future." And I guess I didn't. Not really. He sighed once more. "Go home, Yuka. Get some sleep. You look like you could use it."

"Doesn't matter." I shrugged, standing shortly at the dismissal and heading for the door. "Nightmares. Remember?"

"You're going to have to tell me about them one of these days," he warned.

With my hand on the doorknob, I looked back at him over my shoulder and assured him with a stony face, "...You wouldn't believe me, even if I did."

I was beginning to think he was the place where all sighs originated from as he rubbed the lines between his brow in exasperation. "That's because nightmares aren't _real_, Yuka..."

"Hm, funny..." I laughed grimly, shaking my head as I exited the room. "That's exactly what I used to think..."

I walked passed the ANBU guard on my way out. I couldn't see them, but I knew they were there...watching. Since when did I become a person of interest? I'd been doing so well before now, staying off the radar, out of the books. Nobody except Hanako noticed me, and anyone else wasn't important. I'd been out of the loop, and I liked it that way. Now it seemed I was more important than I thought possible, and I still didn't even know _why._ Damn that man, and his ability to avoid a straight answer... I was used to knowing everything. _Not_ knowing made me nervous, and angry. Whatever it was sounded like it had the potential to be bad though. Like, Naruto-level 'bad' even. That meant I _absolutely_ had to find out about it.

And what had that cunning old man done? Given me the opportunity to find out for myself—handed it to me on a silver platter, in fact. And what had Hanako said? Leave sleeping dogs lie. She'd never tell me anything, because she was _afraid._And that's the part that terrified me the most. If this...bad thing...whatever it was...had something to do with my family...to do with _me._..didn't that make what she was afraid of...me? Now, don't get me wrong. I was all about terrifying my classmates. It was funny. And I didn't like them very much. But...it's different with the people you actually care about.

And the only way to fight fear is to acknowledge that it exists, but don't give it power over you. Right now, I knew what was making Hanako afraid, but I didn't know enough. How can you fight fear when you don't even know what it is? I needed more information. And Hanako had already made it perfectly clear that she wasn't going to give it to me. But that information came with a price attached to it. And that price meant giving up what I wanted most...getting the hell out of here.

If I dove into this...there would be no going back. I would be tied to this village...and worse...according to what the Sandaime had said, there were _politics_ involved. It was a very real possibility that I could find myself in _way_ over my head. And I didn't like to admit that about anything, but it was the truth, and the truth deserved acknowledging. Not only would I be tied down, but I would be weaved and interconnected with everything dark and twisted inside this clusterfuck of a village. That meant getting _involved_, and there would be no possible way to return to where I was. No escape...unless I wanted a rain of fire to come down on my head—quite possibly in the literal sense of the term.

The way I saw it, I had two options. Go with Hanako. Never come back. Never see Naruto, Sakura, Kiba, Sparky, or Mii-chan, or Sasuke, or even Ami ever again. But Hanako...Hanako called me family. She was going to bring the rest of her family back, and I could be a part of it. We could start up an even better bakery in a peaceful little town somewhere, far away, and maybe I could even start up a pizza place once I got older and get filthy stinking rich. I could put the past behind me, and forget all about the nightmares. I could be happy...

But the past few weeks had already proven to me that running from the past only brings it down harder. It was the reason I was in the situation I was in now. And that brings us to my second option. I could stay, and find out about everything. And that probably didn't just include my mom's clan. Inevitably, if I stayed, I'd end up helping Sasuke. I mean, I couldn't just _not._.. Remiss of me as it was, the bastard had become my..._friend. _There are no takebacks with that sort of thing, as Naruto had proven to me—which was exactly the reason I'd been trying to avoid it, but that ship already sailed without me even noticing it a while back. Even if I could force myself away now, I'd still never forget them. And if I stayed, it would mean protecting them, and putting their interests ahead of mine. It was a foreign concept to me. Because at the heart of things, I was essentially as self-serving as one comes. And I sure knew how to pick 'em... Because if I remained friends with Sasuke...I think I knew where it would lead. And that might be towards the entire derailing of the village infrastructure. Possibly even anarchy. Because if _I_ was self-serving...that had absolutely _nothing_ on Sasuke.

Maybe Naruto and I could talk some sense into him...maybe. Sakura would be no help in that, obviously, because as I learned from dinner with the two of them the other night, trying to get them to argue about _anything_ was like pulling teeth. I started up something with Sasuke, tried to bring Sakura into it, she'd just agree with everything he said, and they'd end up tag-teaming me. I swear, even if I managed to catch Sasuke in the act of declaring all women as slaves to men, she'd just smile and nod, maybe giggle a bit in that cute way of hers and skip along after him. If there was one downfall to that girl, it would be Sasuke. But Naruto? Now that was an entirely different story... He wasn't afraid to stand up to him and tell him what was what. So maybe between the two of us, and Sakura too when or _if_ she ever decided to properly rewire that big, brilliant brain of hers...just _maybe_...we could get Sasuke on board with a plan that wasn't completely _idiotic._.. He was in serious need of an intervention.

And as these thoughts spiraled through my head on the way home, thoughts of option one began to seem more and more distant. And the farther away they got, the more a certain sinking feeling in my chest started to became apparent. Until I stopped in front of a familiar building with shiny display windows that now stood empty. _Hanako's Bakery and Confectionary Delights_. It was then my shoulders sunk with an invisible weight, and I really wanted to just drop to my knees right there in the street. Because that's when I realized... It was gone. All of it was gone. Hanako was never coming back. And if she did, it wouldn't be in time. If she did, she'd be brought in for questioning, and who knows what else if the rest of Konoha's twisted politics were involved in this. My arms shook as I reached to grip something hard and round and I stared at my trembling reflection in the shiny windows I'd worked so hard to scrub day in and day out. And as realization dawned on me, I found that I didn't _want_ her to come back. Because I found that even as I thought I'd had two paths laid out before me...there was only one I could take without hurting the people I'd come to care about. I didn't have a choice. All I'd been given in the Old Man's office was an _ultimatum. _Clenching my jaw and squeezing my fist around a rock, I stood and hurled it with all my strength.

"_Don't you dare come back_! _I don't want you here_!" I screamed at my reflection in the window of Hanako's Bakery as cracks splintered out from the impact point, fracturing it into a dozen different reflections. And it was in one of them, as I stood there, raw, and shaking...that I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. I caught a flash of a grinning festival mask—a fox, maybe?—and there was a faint echo of someone laughing on the wind. I looked around in all directions. ANBU, maybe? But that didn't really make sense... If the Hokage wanted me escorted back, they would've just done it, not been all sneaky about it. But...that didn't rule out _everything_...

"Come out, right now!" I demanded, my eyes darting to every corner and shadow. I felt entirely too exposed in the flickering light of the streetlamp, but there was nothing I could do about it now except put up a false bravado. "I know you're there! Hurry up and show me your face before I get angry!"

When another whispering laugh reached me, I felt my heart start to speed up. And when a voice began to echo all around me...I truly stated to become afraid. "_A little fox cries because it is lost_..." I whirled around, but couldn't find an origin point, no matter how hard I listened. Another shiver inducing giggle rooted me to the spot as the next whisper sounded like it was delivered directly next to my ear. And as my eyes met the cracked glass once again, I swear, I felt my heart still as I saw another reflection next to mine. A shapely woman in a traditional kimono, tall zori, and a leering fox mask stood at my shoulder. I watched in horror as the figure inclined her head and another whisper reached my ear as she reached slowly for my shoulder. "_I will help this cute child find the way back home_..." The nails on her hand looked sharp...like claws.

I unfroze at that moment, reaching into the pack at my waist, pulling out a knife, and rounding on the spectral woman. My heart was beating so quickly I felt like it would jump out of my ribcage. Something...something was wrong here. Especially when I felt my knife meet nothing but thin air. There was...no one there. Whirling around again, I saw the figure in the window's cracked reflection once more, standing in the shadow where no one had been standing just a moment ago.

"_Come...come here, to me..._" She beckoned with her hand."_I sleep where the Lady Fox sleeps_..."

I looked back over my shoulder to see no one, then back to see the ghostlike woman standing there in the reflection. This was impossible. It had to be a trick. But...why? I stared at the figure in the mirror and trembled out, "...Who are you?"

Another whispered laugh, and the figure beckoned once more. "_Come_..._come_..." And then she sunk into the shadows, disappearing from view.

I stood there, frozen for about five seconds before using all my speed to get back to the apartment complex, stumbling up the stairs, catching myself on my hands and pushing back off in my haste to get away. I don't know what possessed me, but I ended up headed straight for the apartment door next to mine and banging my hand on it as if trying to knock it down. Another door, two down opened up after a moment to reveal a furious old woman and her walker, scowling at me, "What's that blasted banging!? It's the middle of the night!"

"I—" I looked back down the hall to see...nothing. No one had followed me. Then I looked back to the woman as a certain realization dawned on me and I apologized, "...Sorry, I...forgot my friend wasn't at home."

The old woman snorted and hobbled back around grumbling something like, "...Brat, you _better_ be sorry... Loud music... Kids these days..."

After she was gone, I turned to lean my back against his door and slid down it to bury my face in my knees right there in the hall. I almost expected him to open it and have me land flat on my back without the support. Seemed like something he would do, just to give me a hard time. Especially for nearly breaking his door down in the middle of the night.

My lips trembled as I murmured, "You Bastard...how come you're never here when I actually need you?" I elbowed the door viciously, probably giving myself an unnecessary bruise. But then I hugged my knees closer and felt tears streaking down my cheeks. What made it all the more pathetic was, "...I'm scared." Which made it even more odd that this was the first place I came. Why would I run to _Sasuke_, of all people? But then, the answer hit me like a flying brick.

_He's the only one who'd believe me_.

I shivered as, in the distance, laughter could faintly be made out...and I hid my face.

* * *

"Which one dies first?"

"Eh? Do we have to...? The one with the fan on his back is cute..."

"Ugh—gross, Han! How many times have I told you to cut that out!"

"Cut what out?" the older brother blinked back, then lost interest in the answer, instead resuming his appreciative observations of the two boys in the group guarding the Old Man.

The younger brother cringed and inched away from him apprehensively where they remained carefully hidden in the underbrush, speaking in hushed tones. "Sometimes I don't understand how we're related..."

The older boy sent him a pout and condemned him with, "Why are you always so _mean_, Yangetsu?"

He scowled back and, suppressing a howl of frustration, he grated out, "Because you're a goddamn _homo_, and it's _pissing me off_! We're on a mission for the love of—you know what? Fuck it. Let's just kill the old geezer and report back to Dad. No more screwing around. If we get this done quickly, maybe I won't cut up that poor bastard you keep oogling. You make even one more nasty remark though, and I'm cutting off his head. Maybe I'll even let you keep it."

Hangetsu sighed heavily. "Why do you always have to be so morbid...?"

"Don't be a hypocrite," the other shot back. "I saw what you did to that girl who made fun of your hair. Even _I_ wouldn't go that far."

He flipped an ash blond lock over his shoulder reproachfully after taking a habitual gulp from his readily accessible canteen and insisted, "My hair is _gorgeous_—the trick is hydration; I've never once had a split end, you know—and anyone who believes otherwise _deserves_ what they get..."

And as he sent another glare at his younger brother, the shorter haired boy averted his eyes quickly and waved it off, "You won't see me arguing with you there. I rather like my sword where it is, thanks—even more if it's sticking out of someone else's spine and not rammed up my ass."

Hangetsu sent him a pointytoothed grin and hummed, "This is why I love you."

Again, Yangetsu moved away from him. "I hate it when you say creepy stuff like that. This isn't some messed up shoujo manga where the twins suddenly start making out."

"...You actually read that stuff?" the older brother grinned wider, amused as his younger brother's eyes went wide with horror.

"_NO_! Just—shut up! I'm finishing the mission now, with or without your gay pansy ass!"

"I love it when you call my ass gay—it's a total turn on."

"_That's it_. I'm cutting his head off."

"H-hey, hold on a second, Yan—I was just joking—"

"Too late."

* * *

"Wait!" An oddly dressed boy with shoulder-length hair dashed to the middle of the road to block their procession, skidding a bit in his haste, and breathing in and out quickly with a distressed look upon his face, his arms held out on either side of him, "You can't! He's coming!"

Kakashi immediately took in the long, slim choto strapped across his back, recognition setting off alerts in his head. He'd only heard of it in horror stories of the battle field, but somehow this kid seemed to have gotten ahold of _Nuibari_...the sewing needle. Whether or not he could employ it effectively in combat remained to be seen, but Kakashi didn't underestimate others as a rule, and was hoping it wouldn't come to that at all, frankly. Luckily...the boy appeared to be uninterested in attacking them for the moment. He tried to negotiate, waving his hands in a placating demeanor, "Hey, calm down, calm down... _Who_ exactly is coming?"

"I tried to stop him! Really, I did! It was just a joke, but he got mad, and—"

"Calm _down_..." Kakashi tried again, gently but firmly. "Take a deep breath, then repeat. _Slowly_."

"I-I—" The boy's eyes then flashed to Sasuke, who had already drawn a kunai and was on edge. Then, all too suddenly, the boy broke down and wailed, "Yangetsu is going to cut the pretty one's head off! I won't let him!"

Naruto let out a loud snort, and glanced at Sasuke, who now sported an extremely disgruntled look, and whispered loudly, "Hey...he just called you _pretty_."

"He was talking about Sakura."

"He was looking _right at you_—"

"Shut up, Idiot."

"_Why you_—" the blond paused for a second, then grinned slowly, "Hey, I might be an idiot, but at least I'm not—"

"Naruto! Leave Sasuke-kun alone!" Sakura clenched her fist threateningly, then rounded on the newcomer, her face blushing some, "And _you_! Sasuke-kun is not _pretty!_ ...He-he's ruggedly handsome! Get it right!"

If possible, it made Sasuke feel worse.

The boy, still recovering from the minor breakdown looked affronted for a second at being addressed as 'you,' but since they had no other way to address him, decided to forgive the slight, and sent her a slow grin instead. There were varying reactions from Tazuna and the genin to the dental alterations, including a complete recoil from Sakura, but the boy addressed her amicably, "It seems that a rival has appeared."

"Oi!" Naruto pointed at him, "What the hell is wrong with your teeth?!"

"It's a scare tactic," Tazuna answered immediately, eying the boy critically with recognition. "Usually employed by ninja of the hidden mist."

"And how would you know something like that, Mr. Tazuna...?" Kakashi sent a mildly curious glance back at their client, inwardly assessing the comment and the situation.

Tazuna was still fixated on the boy though, and explained, "Their mother helped me out of a sticky situation a while back. She's looking for you, you know."

The boy's face suddenly went blank as a brick wall, and that's when Kakashi knew he was acting. This was a ploy—a distraction of some sort—and what Tazuna had just said had enough power to blow it clear out of the water. But that's also when he knew the boy was dangerous, and if that wasn't his first clue, a torrent of killing intent washed over them all like a wave. It was mild enough for Kakashi—who had handled worse—but for the kids, and Tazuna...even Sasuke was frozen. And then the boy bit out, "...My mother is _dead_."

It seemed that Tazuna had more steel than he first thought possible though, because he managed to shake off the fear enough to reach back into his bag and pull out a faded photograph, holding it out shakily. "I-if that's true, th-th-then I must've met a s-s-super-axe murdering g-g-ghost."

He sent it spiraling towards the boy like a shuriken, and he deftly snatched it out of the air with an expert's practice, his deadly, pale gray stare never leaving the old man but to glance at the picture. But when they did, they stayed there, widening, and then he demanded, "Where did you get this, Old Man?!"

"It's just a lie, Hangetsu. Don't listen to these fuckers." Another boy with spiky ash blond hair appeared at their rear. _Shunshin_, Kakashi noted with a narrowed eye. This could be a slight problem...it'd have to be handled carefully.

"It's not a lie!" Tazuna insisted, pointing at the first boy. "Her name is Matsuki, she speaks in an accent and carries around this super-scary giant axe, and boy, does she know how to use it... She threatened to kill me a couple of times too, but I figure letting the two of you know she's not dead might put me in her good graces. She's got a super-vendetta against your father from what I hear. She left in a bit of a hurry—left that photo with me on the cart to Konoha."

The one called Hangetsu stared on in wide eyed fascination, but the second boy—Kakashi figured him to be this 'Yangetsu' the other boy had mentioned in his former playact—drawing a long, narrow blade, looked thoroughly unconvinced. "That doesn't prove anything. You could've picked that up anywhere. Dad said he saw her die with his own eyes!"

"But...Yan, that sounds _just like_ her—" Hangetsu protested, and Sasuke, having shaken off the waning killing intent, agreed...although she sounded like someone _else_ he knew. _That girl_ would be interested to hear about this when he got back... If he could just get ahold of that picture and confirm it...

"It's a fuckin' _lie_, Hangetsu!" The other boy swung his sword around to bare it defensively in front of him. "These guys are full of shit. Let's just kill the lying old man, and get the hell out of here."

"Wait!" Hangetsu reached back with a hand on the hilt of the nightmarish needle sword, pocketing the picture carefully with the other one. Sasuke narrowed his eyes in irritation. "Let's at least interrogate him first. He had to have come across the information _somewhere_—"

Finally, impatience getting the best of him, Sasuke cut him off with, "Did she ever go by an alias...? Hanako, maybe?"

Kakashi eyed his student critically. The boy was sharp...he had to give him that. And Hangetsu's sword arm dropped limply, his eyes darting to the boy he'd singled out in the beginning with bemusement. "...How did you know that?"

"Because she runs a _bakery_ out of Konoha," he supplied flatly. "I know her apprentice. Said she left a few weeks ago...looking for you guys apparently. The axe murdering thing is new..."

"Ehh?" Naruto exclaimed wildly, "You mean Yuka-chan's boss is... No way! Sasuke, you're crazy—"

"Naruto! Cut it out, _I mean it_!" He cowered away from Sakura's fist, but she looked at Sasuke uncertainly as well and murmured, "Sasuke-kun... Yuka-chan always says nice things about Hanako-sensei..."

"He does have a point, Sakura-chan." Kakashi suddenly spoke up. "I was assigned to keep tabs on her, after all, since she came from one of the refugee groups around the time of the tragedy at the gates. It took place because of a rumor about a spy amongst their numbers, and it just escalated from there. Now I have a sinking suspicion it might've been _her_ that caused the whole debacle, and I have to admit...I was a little paranoid to begin with. There were tiny clues... If someone is a ninja, even if they're _extremely_ skilled at hiding their chakra, and disguising themselves, you can still tell if you pay close enough attention." he paused with a critical eye on the boy in front of them. "In addition, you look exactly like her, Hangetsu-kun, so I'm fairly sure this is no coincidence. I'm positive there's more to this story...perhaps we can help each other out and put the pieces together, hm?" The boy blushed slightly at the comparison, but Kakashi then addressed Tazuna with a crinkly eyed smile, "Oh, and Tazuna-san? You and I need to have a little chat after this is over."

The old man cringed somewhat, thinking longingly of the sake bottle in his rucksack with a sigh. But then the boy at their rear exploded with a curse, "I've had enough of your lies! Dad said she's dead, and that means she's dead! That means _you're_ dead too, Old Man! And so is anyone stupid enough get in our way!"

He swung his sword in an arch, and Kakashi bristled as he felt the wave of hostile chakra brimming from it. That was no ordinary weapon. Of that, he was positive, though any further nature of it was obscure to him...and he didn't know whether that was a good or a bad thing. One thing was for sure though. He would need to stop it, and fast. However...as it would turn out, he didn't need to. Hangetsu got there first.

There was a shattering clang as one weapon met the other, Yangetsu's longsword clattering against a horizontal Nuibari held firmly by Hangetsu in a guard. He then entreated in a careful, level tone that spoke nothing of the trembling power struggle between offense and defense taking place between the two brothers—as if they'd done this a hundred times before. "Brother...I'm begging you. Let me interrogate them."

Yangetsu glared into his older brother's eyes, and seemed to consider it for a long moment. But in a split second, his eyes went cold he stated without emotion, "The mission comes first," and then promptly swung his sword past his brother's guard to cut him clear in two. Sakura screamed, and Kakashi went into action. If possible, he would've liked to take him alive for questioning.

That was proving difficult, however, as the boy was more skilled than he'd previously guessed. He was also wary of the sword itself and was careful to remain out of its range. If one brother had been in possession of a powerful tool like Nuibari, what then could the other have in store? As it was, the boy was making it hard for him not to retaliate in a way that wouldn't kill him. He was reckless, and fought like a berserker, but his swings were powerful, and he moved without pause or hesitation, as shown by how easily he had hacked through his own brother; the bloodthirsty grin on his face indicated a propensity for no remorse.

"Stay back, Naruto, you idiot! You'll only get in the way!" Sakura grasped the back of his collar, restraining the boy from entering the fight, after getting over his shock at seeing someone rendered in two—which was surprisingly quick, but considering the desensitization training at the academy...

Since he couldn't get free without hurting Sakura, he exploded, "How could you _do_ something like that?! Aren't you supposed to be brothers?!"

"Yeah, you jackass! That hurt!" there was a sudden splash as a puddle exploded into life and Yangetsu was promptly impaled through the shoulder. With a sharp kick to the square of his back, Yangetsu cried out in agony as he was then forced face first into the ground, and the newly reattached Hangetsu drove the needle sword once more through his younger brother's shoulder, pinning him firmly to the ground below. "How's that feel, huh? That's nothing compared to being cut in half!" Yangetsu let out a string of violent curses in response, but Hangetsu just stomped on him ruthlessly, twisting the needle a bit with a cruel grin which turned the cursing into a pitiful groan. Hangetsu only laughed, his face transforming from the innocent mask to a sadistic killer. "If Haku-_nee_-_chan_ was here, he'd probably stop me...but you know what? I'm really in the mood to see your blood today..."

As the Konoha genin reacted in varying degrees of horror and disgust, Yangetsu managed to choke out, "Remember...the _mission_—"

"Ha! To hell with the mission!" Hangetsu shouted with hysteria in his voice. "I'm going to find Mom. If it means cooperation with the enemy—" His frenzied eyes flicked over to Kakashi, who watched on in practiced restraint. "—that can be arranged too. From this point on, I'm hereby putting a hiatus on the mission. I don't care what Dad says. The whiskers kid is right. You're my brother. Are you with me, or against me?"

Yangetsu's fingers curled into the dirt, and he gritted his shark-like teeth, trembling somewhat from the pain. But he still managed to turn and face a glare at Hangetsu over his impaled shoulder and spat out an obstinate, "_Fuck you_, Faggot!"

Hangetsu's face turned to stone in that moment, and he twisted Nuibiri heartlessly once more, eliciting another cry of torment from his brother. He then retracted the weapon from the boy with the sound of a bone cracking, raising it up, poised to strike, and he spoke without sentiment. "You brought this on yourself."

As he brought the unforgiving point down for a vital strike, however, his movement was halted by a grim Kakashi whom nobody saw move. "That's quite enough, I think. Your mom would probably be extremely upset with me if I let you kill each other right in front of me." Hangetsu stared at him coldly, but made no move to go against the jounin. With that sort of speed, he knew he was outclassed. Kakashi then moved to step on Yangetsu's fingers, which were slowly inching their way towards the hilt of his sword. "And I'm not an expert on injuries, but I'm fairly sure you shouldn't be moving in your condition..."

He cursed halfheartedly at him in response, but Yangetsu was weak when it came to endurance. He could dish it, oh yes, but when it came to taking it...? Not so much. Being impaled was not something he handled well. Hangetsu's cold stare slowly morphed into something like cruel amusement at his assessment of Kakashi, though, and he laughed, "Dad was right about one thing... All you Konoha shinobi are too soft." He cast his pale gray eyes over to the genin, landing on each of them individually for a few seconds before they stopped on Sasuke, and he amended, "You look like you've seen worse though. That's what I like about you. You're not like them."

In fact, he'd been the only one—with the exception of the seasoned jounin—not to flinch during the entire scene. He resisted the urge to sneer at the boy. Maybe he wasn't like _them_, but he certainly wasn't like _him_ either. However, he just arched a brow and repeated some words he thought he remembered hearing from a rather irritatingly clever girl once, "You'd be surprised at what you can find in Konoha's dirty laundry if you look close enough." He sent a glance at the blond. "Isn't that right...Naruto?"

The other boy sent him a look, emitting a rather unintelligent, "_Huh_? Sasuke, what the hell are you—What does _dirty laundry_ have to do with anything?"

"Sasuke." Kakashi sent him a warning glance, as the impaler eyed them both with even more interest. "Now is _not_ the time to be acting up."

The dark boy scoffed softly, with a shake of his head. Now that Kakashi seemed to have everything under control he was losing interest in the situation. "Whatever."

"S-sensei..." Sakura eyed her crush with worried eyes, still somewhat shaken from the previous display, then asked the instructor hesitantly. "H-how should we proceed with the mission?"

"Well, that depends," his eye crinkled in a perfectly merry smile at the impaler, whose stabbing arm he still held firm in a vice-like grip. "We should take these two in for questioning, and Tazuna-san? Your escort may need to be rearranged, the mission status changed to a B-rank at least. Also—" he gestured to Yangetsu casually "—your brother seems to have lost consciousness due to blood loss. I'm no expert, but I think it might be wise to get him to a qualified physician."

Hangetsu rolled his eyes. "He'll be fine...I avoided the major arteries. He's just a wuss with a weak pain tolerance."

"I take it you're willing to cooperate?" Kakashi asked warily.

"Hmm...our goals seem to be the same for the moment." Hangetsu gave a one shouldered shrug. "I need information from the old man. That requires him being alive. Therefore, my previous mission is now moot. You also have a secondary goal that matches mine—finding my mother. Until then, we'll get along just fine...afterwards, all bets are off. Think you can live with that?"

"For the moment..." he mimicked the words, releasing Hangetsu's wrist slowly. The boy then holstered Nuibari expertly and began the thorough work of hogtying his younger brother. Normally, this would cause at least some sort of pause due to moral issues, but all Hangetsu was thinking about was how funny it would be later when he made a joke about poor, homophobic Yangetsu and BDSM. At that thought, he was suddenly quite thankful the Konoha jounin stopped him from murdering his dear little brother. The reaction alone would be worth keeping him alive. Especially when he couldn't move, and threats of beheading all attractive males in the vicinity would be completely empty. He wondered idly if it was possible for a human being to explode due to sheer frustration...and smirked. This was going to be fun.

After cautiously eying the disturbingly cheerful way the boy was restraining his equally violent brother, Kakashi turned to his students and concluded, "Ultimately, it all depends on what you three decide. I can handle pretty much anything, and I really _do_ need to find Hanako. So after seeing what you're up against, do you still think you're ready to defend Tazuna-san with your lives?"

"Hmph..." Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest. "We've already made it this far. It'd be useless if we had to go all the way back without accomplishing anything..." Secretly, he wanted to test himself. During the fight, he'd watched the two carefully. Whatever level they were on was one he was completely unfamiliar with. He wanted to find out just what it would take to defeat them...not to mention, the connection between them, Hanako, and by extension..._that girl_...was unmistakable. She was right. Something strange _was_ going on here...and he was determined to find out what it was.

Sakura then did something she'd never done before in the history of ever. "But...Sasuke-kun, don't you think it's too dangerous?" Her eyes flicked to Hangetsu fearfully, who, to her horror, caught her staring, paused in his ruthlessly tight knot tying, and sent her a charming grin—the double set of pearly pointy whites doing their job perfectly. She let out a squeak.

Naruto bounced in front of her protectively. "Don't worry Sakura-chan! I'll protect you, _and_ Old Man Tazuna—guys like these are no problem for someone like me! I can take you on any day, you pointy-toothed freak! 'Cause I'm the one who's going to be Hokage! Believe it!"

"Oh great..." Tazuna groaned. "You're going on about that nonsense again, Shrimp?"

"HEY! WHO ARE YOU CALLING—"

"YOU'RE LOUD!" Sakura exploded, slamming her fist down on his head, prompting the poor boy to drop like a brick. Sasuke didn't think it would help matters to point out that they were both equally as loud as the other...

By that point, Hangetsu was finished tying up Yangetsu and hoisted him over his shoulder. The wound had stopped bleeding, so he must've been telling the truth about not hitting anything vital. It'd still have to be patched up though, he noted with some distaste. He really didn't feel like going to the trouble... Anyway, something the whisker kid—now wallowing on the ground from getting curb-stomped by the abusive bitch—had said struck a chord with him and he smirked. "Hmm..._Hokage_, is it? Well, I hope you're telling the truth about that. 'Cause the next one that comes after the old man isn't going to be nearly as nice, or _half_ as good looking as I am." He started forward, down the path they were headed, then looked back over his shoulder with a malicious smirk and the truth, "...Even _I'm_ afraid of that guy."

* * *

**Hey, it's me again! I actually managed to get to a computer this time, and it's a good thing I did, because it appears that Orokashii is having just about as much trouble as I am at the moment. I don't want to keep on asking her to update for me because that's not fair. I'm saving up to buy a new laptop cord, but that could take about another week, so I'm warning you in advance: THE NEXT CHAPTER MAY BE A WEEK LATE!**

**However, the email function and PM on the mobile fanfic site still works on my phone so I can still answer REVIEWS ^^**

**Put something in the magic box right there. Why? Because it's MAGIC.**


	6. WHEN SHIT GETS INTO YOUR HEAD

**THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SHIT GETS INTO YOUR HEAD**

* * *

Hiro had forgiven me for my slight after I attended he and Mii-chan's Academy entrance ceremony with a smile—albeit, a forced, and exhausted one—on my face. I think my eyes were beginning to develop permanent dark circles. I'd sat outside Sasuke's door that entire night for reasons I didn't even want to fathom, and tried not to listen to the laughing horror creature that beckoned me from every reflective surface. I could only sag with relief when it hadn't come back after the first night. But still...a new character had come to visit me in my nightmares. And this one came with a territory all its own.

Normally, the nightmares would feature future events, or glimpses into the past, or even things happening miles away in the present, that I could hardly remember when I woke up. Some were horrible things that made me want to scream and yet others were...not. A lot of them were about Naruto, actually. And I would've even laughed during some of them were it not for the phantom feeling of...wrongness. These were things I wasn't _supposed_ to be seeing.

But after that night...a new kind of nightmare had arisen from the depths of my subconscious. These weren't the natural kind either, but I could tell they were different from the visions… And what's worse, I remembered every second of them in raw, minute detail. And every morning I had woken and run to the toilet to empty out my insides… I hadn't done that since the Uchiha Massacre. But this? _This was worse_. With the Uchiha, it might've been a massacre...but at least it was _quick_. This? This was...torture...rape, and...if there was a picture of hell, that's what it would look like. There was so much going on at once that I couldn't even take it all in. But there was blood...so much blood… And the worst part?

_I liked it._

It was as if I had taken a passenger seat in my own body while someone...some_thing_...else took control. And as my hands committed those..._unspeakable_ acts, as the taste of blood wetted my tongue, as my clawed fingers dug around in another's insides, I...felt nothing short of mind numbing _ecstasy_. My whole body tingled with delight, until any vague idea of guilt gradually vanished without me even realizing it. And what came next… No. Nothing could make me relive that again. I refused to think of it. But when I woke up, the sheer gravity and horror that was the dream hit me like a building collapsing upon me. It disturbed me on a profound level and now, every time I closed my eyes, I saw the grinning mask of a fox, the traces of something red flashing behind the dark, slanted pits that served as eyeholes, and the enticing whisper in my ears of _come heeeere to meee_…

And so the solution had presented itself fairly plainly: I would give up on sleeping. And that was that.

The decision led me to an abrupt change in diet. Instead of my favorite rectum-ripping flaming-hot spicy foodstuffs and pizza addictions...I had switched over to power foods, nutritional essentials, and ninja rations. The stuff tasted like shit, but as long as it kept me awake, I would bare with it. It also led to me begging Akimichi Amaki—the only person in my academy class I happened to be on good terms with—for tips on her clan's calorie wizardry.

"But...why do you want to stay awake so badly?" She stared at me with concern, her pudgy, purple painted cheeks puffing out somewhat as she pouted at me. "That can't be healthy, you know..."

"At this point…" I said hopelessly in a lackluster tone, "it really doesn't matter anymore. If I sleep, I… Let's just say there are some not-so-nice things that go on in my head at night… One more night of this, and I'm going to go insane."

She tugged on one jaggedy short pigtail that poked out on either side of her head as was a nervous tic of hers and she shook her head worriedly, "Ohhh...that doesn't sound good. It seems like more of something in the Yamanaka territory, not Akimichi… I don't know if I could help, but I _do_ know some of my dad's Yamanaka friends—"

"_NO,_" I nearly shouted, but my voice cracked and I just shook my head vigorously. "I mean...ahem," I coughed roughly to save face. "...no. No thanks. I...don't think any Yamanaka could handle my screwed up brain. They'd probably take one look at it and then run screaming bloody murder...and maybe bang their head repeatedly against something hard or swallow bleach to get out the awful stuff left behind..."

Amaki blinked several times at my long winded explanation, bemused for a moment before she burst out laughing. "Yuka-chan, you always look so serious when you're making jokes. I can never tell the difference."

I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't joking.

"Well, if you're really that opposed to it, I suppose I could take you by my uncle's restaurant…" She smiled sweetly at my exhausted frown. "Maybe he'll have some advice that can help you. Besides, I don't really know if it's okay to talk about clan stuff like that to an...outsider." She looked embarrassed saying it like that, but it was the truth of the matter. Amaki was too nice for her own good sometimes, and she hurried to reassure me, "But it's okay! Uncle will definitely know what to do. We'll have you back in tip top shape in no time! I'm sure of it!"

The corners of my lips tilted up tiredly, even though I didn't really believe her. Despite that, I smiled at her genuinely and said, "Thanks, Maki-chan...you're a huge help."

She grinned back at the use of the nickname. "That's what friends are for, right?"

I hesitated for a moment, but I supposed I was already bogged down by enough of them already. Besides, it was already evident that I was never getting out of this place alive. One more buddy along for the ride couldn't hurt anything. "Y-yeah...ditto." I still didn't exactly know what to say to those sort of things. Especially with people like Amaki, who were just so sweet and innocent… It was so much easier with people like Sasuke, even though I hated him most of the time. But hate was something I could understand. Kindness...caring...dedication to other human beings… These things were foreign territory. I wasn't used to it. And on another level...did I even deserve it?

Part of me couldn't help feeling like I was just using Amaki. I didn't trust my own intentions. But the sickening feeling I got when I thought of manipulating her made me hopeful that it wasn't all just to serve my own goals. Since I was stuck here, I...I wanted to give it a shot. A real friend, for once. No deals, no manipulation, no uncontrollable forces of circumstance… Just friends, who help each other because they want to...not because they have to. Idly, I wondered if that's what Naruto had meant the other day when he was once again talking my ear off…

"Hey! You!" We stopped abruptly on our way home when a familiar voice called out. Ami had lost all traces of politeness since our first encounter, and I'd lost all patience for her bullshit. It came as a general consensus between us to just get straight to the point whenever either of us were forced to communicate. Sakura was right in that Ami only really kept her bullying to the loners, like a spider who reels in a struggling fly. But once I started hanging out with Amaki...well, Ami was just a bitch with no leg to stand on. And apparently, from what she told me, Amaki was the go to target before I had arrived.

However, the lone fact that Ami had called out to us wasn't the reason I stopped…but because she had a miserable looking Mii-chan in tow along with her usual gang of parasites and had a very vicious grin on her face. This did not bode well.

"I...I'm so sorry, Yuka-nee...she made me—" Mii-chan started, tears forming behind her clunky glasses, which immediately put me on edge. I hated crying children; not the children themselves, but the reason behind the crying. And in this case...the cause seemed pretty obvious.

I glared at Ami as she shoved Mii forward roughly. "I made a cute new friend. And she told us aaaaall about you…" Some of the girls giggled, and the one on Mii's left—the one I remembered from the gum incident—popped her bubble gum suggestively and tugged on a strand from one of the girl's twintails. I sent her a pointed stare, but chose not to react. That would only egg them on…

"...Really? I find that hard to believe, since I barely know her. She's just some nobody from my old orphanage," I tried not to look at the devastated look in Mii-chan's teary eyes. It was a lie, but even though Mii-chan was smart...it was still a pretty good bluff.

Even Ami's eyes darted nervously towards the little girl as a splash of doubt colored her features, but they almost immediately flashed back to her sickly sweet mask of vicious cruelty. "Well...she certainly seems to know _you_. She told us all about what kind of people you like to hang out with. That trashy ninja Naruto? Exactly how did he graduate again?" She let out a peel of laughter.

I only raised my brow. "He snuck into a highly protected building, incapacitated the Hokage, stole a valuable scroll, learned an extremely advanced jutsu from it in under eight hours, then proceeded to protect the scroll and Iruka-sensei from Mizuki-sensei, who wanted to steal it. He beat him in less than a minute."

There was silence between us for a whole minute, and one of the girls even dropped her lollypop with the way her mouth was gaping open. Then Ami exploded, "No way! That's a total lie! I don't believe it even for a second!"

I shrugged. "Whatever. You can always ask Iruka-sensei later. Mii-chan? Isn't he your sensei this year? He's a pretty good teacher. Make sure and listen to him."

The girl, now too shocked to cry only nodded numbly, but remarked musingly, "I didn't know Naruto was that cool…"

"He's not, actually. Most of the crazy shit he manages to pull off generally happens because of an accident… You know...one disastrous chain of events setting off another chain of events which then sets something on _fire_, and...well…I won't go into detail about that incident." I shook my head to clear it of any unwanted memories of the event. "Anyway, it begs the question...if you look at the results of his accidents, what would happen if Naruto suddenly started doing things on _purpose_? It's a little bit horrifying to contemplate..."

Amaki giggled from beside me and I shot her a grin. I think _everyone_ knew what Naruto was like by now.

Ami, however, growled in frustration. "I didn't come here to talk about stupid Naruto—"

"Seems to me like you did." I snorted. "If I didn't know you better, I'd think you might have developed a little—"

"You hang out with that stupid Kiba too!" She accused wildly, "Mii-chan says you go out on dates all the time!"

I groaned internally. Mii-chan had developed this mortifying little fantasy in her head in which she lived through me and imagined Kiba and I skipping through a field of daisies, off into the sunset together, getting married, and having lots of Inuzuka babies. It kind of made me want to hurl my guts up on the spot, personally, but I couldn't bring myself to come down and crush a fragile little girl's lovey-duvy dream world. Even though it just gave Kiba unwanted encouragement and a horrendous ego boost, I could just as easily take out my frustrations on him instead of Mii-chan, and so that's what I did. Unfortunately, the root of the problem still remained...as the current situation clearly pointed out. I think I was going to have to get down on her level one day and concoct a wild fairytale love story about me and Sasuke eloping in secret. _God forbid_ he ever got wind of it, but Sasuke never went near the orphanage for some reason. I would count on that, and Mii's sworn secrecy on our 'elopage' working to my advantage. God, it was almost worse than the Kiba fantasy… No, actually, it was _definitely_ worse.

I shook my head, but I was resolved on fixing this somehow as I eyed Mii with a you're-in-trouble look. "We're going to have a little chat about this later, you and me. Girl-to-girl. Got that?"

She gulped, but noded shakily. However, Ami sneered a grin. "Girl-to-girl? How do you figure that when the only friends you have are boys? It figures though. The only reason you have friends is because you use your body to reel them in."

I kind of had to stop and stare at her for a second, then stare down at said body for a double take. Yep. As I thought, no chest, no ass, no hips. I was about as curveless as a plank of wood. Her statements really did make me feel uncomfortable, though not in the way I think she intended… It was as if she thought I had sex appeal or something. And I'm not even being modest here. I'm telling you the truth. Flat. As. A. Board. In the end, I really just had to cover my mouth and try not to snicker. But that kind of failed as I pointed out Amaki, "How do you explain Maki-chan, then? _She's_ a girl. Nee, Maki," I beckoned to her with a hand, whispering loudly so everyone could hear, "You'd tell me if you swung that way, right?"

She laughed, bouncing somewhat as she quaked with the stuff, and shook her head. "I really don't know how to answer that! It's so sudden!"

I was about to reply suggestively with a grin when Ami scowled and replied coldly, "_That_ really doesn't count… How can you even prove it's a girl anyway? All I see is a rolling hunk of fat meat…"

For once...I was struck dumb without any chance of retort. The insult wasn't even directed at me, yet my mouth hung slack, and my eyes widened as the words sunk in like stabbing knives. How… I didn't understand. How is it that someone could be so cruel to someone as kind as Amaki? And as I looked between the two, Ami, who smirked with satisfaction at the sunken look on Amaki's face. The amused grin I had coaxed out of her from before had faded into nothing as soon as the horrible words had left the other girl as if it had never been there in the first place. And my understanding lessened more, and more as the moments ticked by. I didn't understand.

I didn't understand why my body moved on its own as it launched itself towards Ami. I didn't understand why I wanted to rip her apart and feel her blood dripping down my hands and over my tongue like in the dream. And if strong, unyielding arms hadn't wrapped themselves around me, I probably _would_ have. Even still, I fought against them, and it was only when the lack of air caused me to go limp that I recollected my senses.

Amaki had her arms locked around me in her double size technique, nearly squeezing the life out of me, but they began to deflate as the killing intent faded. Whoa, whoa..._actual_ killing intent! That came...from _me_? The arms around me trembled, and though I couldn't see Amaki's face from her position behind me, I could imagine it was something like the girls in front of me. Ami stood stock still, save for the tremors that wracked through her, as well as...I was sad to see, Mii-chan. I didn't want her to see me like this.

Still shocked by my own actions I reached up and patted Amaki's arm in an attempt to be reassuring and cracked a joke. "See…? This is what happens when I get tired… I'm a total grump."

"Ah...ahaha…" She laughed somewhat hysterically. I could see she was finding it hard to keep a straight face. "That's okay… I...I get grumpy when I'm hungry sometimes. May-maybe that's it, hmm?"

I stared at Ami intently. "...I'm starving."

Her face drained of color.

"N-nee, nee, Mii-chan?" Amaki tentatively grabbed my hand with one of hers and beckoned to the trembling little girl with the other, "Why don't you come with us, hmm? I'll find you and...Y-yuka-chan," She chanced a glance at me as I continued to stare at Ami. "...something yummy to eat, okay? It'll be fun." She made a brave attempt at a smile, which seemed to shake Mii out of whatever trance she'd been in. She looked back at Ami too, whose hold had weakened on her, and chanced a run for Amaki's hand. Ami was still too stiff to notice as the little girl clung to the Akimichi, but her fear now seemed to be directed away from the source that had so recently directed the terrifying amount of killing intent. I didn't even know how I had done it. Much less where all that pent up anger had come from. I'd seriously wanted to kill someone for calling someone else fat. That made...absolutely zero sense.

I was truthfully glad Amaki pulled us both away from the silly bully girls, and into the crowded, bustling streets of the village. It distracted my thoughts from the bloodbath I had been intending to create. And, eventually, taking in the still wary faces of my...friends, I murmured, "I...I'm really sorry. Something...something Ami said just set me off…"

Mii-chan just stared, but Amaki sent me a tentative smile and said, "...That's okay. My cousin probably would've reacted...similarly. He gets really upset whenever anyone says the 'F' word, hahah…"

Mii-chan continued to stare on for a long time after that, but when she spoke she did so in a sort of reverent tone. "_That was _so _cool_. Teach me, please." She hesitated a moment before admitting, "I...want to use it on Hiro-kun when he steals from my panty drawer."

"He _what_?!" I exclaimed loudly, making the people around us stare or send dirty looks. But I gritted my teeth and clenched the fist that wasn't holding Amaki's hand angrily as the cause became obvious in my mind. "This is all _Kiba's_ fault! I'll kill him!"

Mii panicked slightly, waving her hands and shaking her head so hard her ponytails would've whacked anyone standing nearby in the face. "But-but Yuka-nee! You can't do that—Kiba-kun is...he…" She stuttered desperately.

I rolled my eyes. I guess now was a good time to get to nip this in the bud. I sighed and knelt down to look her in the eye. "Mii-chan...I think I need to tell you something about me...and Sasuke."

Oh god, it was painful. I nearly stopped in the middle to go and bang my head against the wall to get out the images it created in order to block out any other fantasies in Mii's head. And I didn't know if it was worse that Amaki was standing right there and knew I was lying my ass off—because she _knew_ Sasuke from being in the same class for a few years—and giggling like a madwoman, or that she _didn't_ believe it. Mii-chan, however, soaked it up like a sponge in water, and stared at me with starry eyes. "I...I promise I won't tell _anyone_. That's so romantic!"

I wanted to follow the example of my theoretical Yamanaka and swallow brain bleach. But Amaki grinned at me and agreed with the little girl, "Yeah, Yuka-chan...so _romantic_. I hope the two of you have a _very_ happy life together."

I sent her a long suffering look and begged, "...Let us never speak of this again. _Ever_."

"Hahaha, whatever you say, _Mrs_. Uchiha," she laughed heartily at my expense, and I think my face drained of every bit of color it possessed.

"Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it—" I urged myself over and over again holding my head in my hand as my stomach lurched queasily at the very thought. Thinking of _him_ that way just made me feel inherently _wrong_. It's a good thing Mii-chan was off in her own little world, because I think I was having a miniature seizure. Then I hissed, "Maki-chan, how could you even _say_ something like that?"

She grinned, squeezing my hand and pointing out, "You dig your own grave. Dad always says you should be careful what kind of ideas you voice out loud. The spirits might hear you and decide to make it their own..."

I pondered that thoughtfully, somewhat disturbed as we passed the bookstore, then stopped abruptly as a familiar giggle reached my ears and raised a finger for pause, "Hold that thought… There's something I need to take care of. Be right back."

I scowled as I stalked through the shelves in an increasingly bad temper, giving the manager a scathing glare as I went. This was partially _his_ fault after all...if you counted negligence as a sin. Then again, they were getting pretty skilled with that transformation jutsu...and the manager wasn't exactly what you'd call intelligent. Still, it wasn't that hard to find them if you knew where to look. And...why was I not surprised?

My hands fell on either of their shoulders like iron clamps and I felt both of them drop the sexy magazine and the giggling cut out immediately as they looked slowly back at me. My mouth twitched into a slow, somewhat sadistic grin and I murmured sweetly, "...Hiro-kun? You and me need to have a little talk. And _you_," my eyes flashed to the boy on the left. "Kono...uhh…"

"MY NAME IS KONOHAMARU!" he suddenly shouted and I winced slightly shaking my head. This kid hung out with Naruto _way_ more than was healthy.

Putting that aside, however, I simply glared back before promptly dragging them after me, "Yeah. Whatever."

"It's not _whatever_—"

"Hey, You, the midget-pervert, how about you _shut the hell up_?" I scowled at the brat surlily, then aimed a stare loaded with condemning disapproval at the manager on our way out. "I find anymore kids in here again, and you're going to have hell to pay. And it's _not_ gonna be from me. You're gonna be hearing from the Old Man. And _you_," I shoved the scarfed brat along out of the shop and addressed him again. "you don't get to be so lucky. Soon as I get some chow in my gut, I'm gonna work up a nice little report about your...escapades...and hand it right in to the good old commander-in-chief. Sparks over here might be a pain in my ass, but you're _his_ problem. Got that, Brat?"

He scowled at me hatefully, muttering things under his breath, but his attention was diverted as soon as Hiro spotted Mii. The green-haired boy pointed at her and accused, "Traitor!"

I took that as my cue to bop him on the head and followed up with a swift kick in the ass, making him wobble and nearly fall over onto his face. "You're one to talk, you little shit! You left her alone today, didn't you?!" I deduced, internally questioning why she had been with Ami in the first place. "I thought I told you to take care of each other!" I sneered down at him and demanded, "And what's this crap I hear about you going panty snatching, huh? What do you need a girl's underwear for anyway?" His face went bright flaming red, though the blue-scarf-brat was eying him with something like respect. I shook my head. "You know what? I don't even want to know. Mii-chan, I'll teach you some good traps to rig your underwear drawer with later... Next person who tries to dig through there without permission is losing some fingers… Now, get moving you idiots. I'm getting really irritated with all three of you." I shoved the two forward with another kick aimed for Hiro's butt to get him going as he was starting to drag his feet, still weighed down by his embarrassment. But I ignored it cheerfully and called out, "Point the way, Maki-chan!"

She laughed, shaking her head, watching as the three walked ahead of us, Hiro and Konohamaru still sulking and Mii-chan humming vaguely, reaching out to grab both of their hands as Amaki had done with she and I. The chubby girl took that moment to mention slyly, "You're pretty good with kids, aren't you?"

"Hardly," I remarked with dry humor. "They're like vicious beasts. If you don't scare the shit out of 'em first, and show them who the dominant species is, they'll eat you alive."

"That's an...interesting way of looking at it, I suppose."

We soon came across a restaurant that I had passed several times before, and always had an appetizing aroma wafting out from its doors, but for some reason...a foreboding feeling I always associated with the night visions kept me away, the same as it always kept me away from Ichiraku Ramen... In large letters over the entrance, a name was spelled 'Yakiniku-Q.' It seemed vaguely unoriginal, but got the point across alright I supposed. It was hard to even get through the door because it was so packed. And, almost instantly, a rotund, and clearly swamped man behind the counter hailed Amaki over. "Oh, you're here! We could use the extra hand today!"

It was at this this point he noticed the ragtag gang that followed her in. Konohamru was easily identified, obviously, being the honorable grandson and all. I was probably the only one in the village who couldn't be bothered to remember that mouthful. I'd have to come up with some sort of call sign for him later if he continued to hang out with Hiro, consequentially becoming a _second_ pain in my ass. The man smiled at the two orphan dwellers kindly, but his eyes stayed on me longer than they should've. I saw recognition there as I returned the stare with my neutral default setting—which generally gave off the impression of being largely unimpressed with my surroundings and everyone in them. Yet still, he asked Amiki amiably, "Did you make some new friends? I don't suppose any of them can cook..."

Before I could stop her, Amaki jumped to declare enthusiastically, "Actually, Yuka-chan is amazing! She always packs the best homemade lunches! They're even better than Mom's! D-don't tell her I said that though..."

He laughed as I covered my eyes in exasperation. I think I regretted sharing my lunch with her the day Ami decided to stomp on it. Now I only got to eat less than half, while Amaki got her lunch _and_ the other half of mine. Granted, she offered to share hers as well—a big honor from an Akimichi—but it just seemed awkward to me for some reason. And I was kind of a wimp whenever it came to Amaki, so I always caved whenever she eyed my fried gyoza hungrily.

"Yeah, Nee-san always comes and makes us breakfast at the orphanage... I always look forward to it." Mii smiled sweetly, and if she wasn't so cute and honest, I probably would've kicked her in the the butt like I was oft to do with Hiro on numerous occasions. Which is why he kept quiet other than to cross his arms surlily across his chest—a habit I dearly hoped he hadn't picked up from me—and merely grunted out a grudging agreement to Mii-chan's words.

"Hmm, is that so?" The man grinned kindly at the bespectacled girl and the spiky green haired boy, but seemed to be humoring them. And if I knew Hiro...he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he still knew when he was being talked to like a child. Orphan kids were a different breed than your casual civilian-born. Mostly because sometimes you never knew if they were actually civilian born or not. This is coming from someone who was there when a random freaky-eyed kid spontaniously activated a Byakugan. And that meant whatever poor shmuck in the Hyuga clan who couldn't keep it in his pants was having a _very_ bad day. "How many of you live there? Does she cook for all of you?"

"None of your business..." Hiro grumbled petulantly, but I smacked him in the head, suddenly realizing where I remembered the vaguely familiar guy with wild red-brown hair from.

"Hiro, watch your mouth. This man is one of the people who make it possible for you to attend the academy. His money is going towards the orphan program so you better show some respect and work hard so you'll be able to pay back every ryo he puts down for you, plus interest." As the boy's face reddened I ignored him, instead turned to Amaki and spoke in a sparkly voice that was barely concealing my irritation. "...You didn't tell me your uncle was the _clan head_, Maki-chan."

She shrugged sheepishly. "I thought if there was anyone who could help you, it'd be him."

I sighed deeply. "Yeah, but I really wasn't expecting to consult with the clan _leader_... It's not that big of a deal, honestly—"

"Well, you have my attention now. Yuka-chan, was it?" I blanched slightly at the familiarity. "If you're close enough with Amaki that she would bring you to me for help, then I will try my best to do so...right after I feed all these hungry folks!" He grinned at me, pudgy, Akimichi face making his eyes go all chinky. "I take it you're used to cooking for a lot of people? Why don't you and Amaki come on back and help us out?"

I crossed my arms, mirroring Hiro, and my suspicion that he'd adopted the stubborn stance from me was unfortunately confirmed. "Hey, listen, I'm grateful for the Orphan Fund and I'm willing to do my part and all, but I'm no philanthropist—"

"Yukaaa!" Amaki nudged me with her shoulder, and hissed into my ear, "If you want help, you're going to have to _work_ for it!"

"...Oh." I blinked. Duh. "Yeah. That works too. Actually, I'd prefer it that way."

"That's the spirit!" The man nodded enthusiastically, then motioned to the kids, "You three take a seat anywhere you like. It's on the house today!"

My eyes boggled for a second, "N-no, Akimichi-sama! I'm punishing them! They're in _big_ trouble—I…" I hesitated at the puppy faces and reluctantly cringed out the words, "They're my brats...I'll pay for them." All three cheered, before viciously attacking me with hugs, and I was just trying to remain upright when they ran off to find a booth. I shouted threats after them about not making trouble for anyone, or else.

"Haha, you seem a bit young to have kids of your own," he teased as I followed Amaki's lead and grabbed an oversized apron from off a hook.

"Yeah, well, things in this world are kind of messed up sometimes, if you'll forgive the ridiculous understatement…" I grumbled, shaking my head and sending another wary look after the trio out of the corner of my eye. Konohamaru seemed to be telling a story about his stupid sensei/babysitter, swinging his arms animatedly, and accidentally hitting a patron in the back of the head. I sighed and shook my head, but returned my attention to the boss, getting right down to business. "I'm great at making desserts and pastries, decent at traditional cuisine, but my main area of expertise lies in some pretty awesome original dishes that no one's ever heard of before. But for all intents and purposes, put me on any detail you want. I'm good with whatever."

"Well, we're out of side dishes. Are you any good at improvising?"

I thought for a moment, noticing a deep fryer in the corner, then darted my eyes back. "...Got any potatoes?"

The result of my dreams of magical spuds had finally come to fruition.

Tempura fries.

Apparently they were a big hit.

And for some reason, I was feeling oddly satisfied about that fact. For years, people had dismissed my ideas as plain odd—especially when pizza was involved. I'd even grown a mild sinking feeling that nobody liked my cooking except me, though Hanako, and the orphans disagreed when it came to my cinnamon buns. Then Sasuke came along and decided to go on a 'whatever Yuka makes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner' diet, and blew that theory pretty much out of the water, along with a good chunk of my grocery funds. But still, I could write that off as him just being a freak of nature (and he was). So it wasn't until I worked side dishes at Yakiniku-Q that I realized it wasn't just me and said freak of nature anymore.

_Damn straight_ was I satisfied.

But when Chouza offered me a job, I nearly collapsed right in front of him. "You have _no idea_ how much I wish I could've met you a month ago... As it is now, I have a pretty tight training schedule, plus Academy hours on top of that. I'm at the top of the class, but I won't stay there for long at my current rate—at which point, Hokage-sama has notified me that I will be kicked out of the program for good and lose my apartment. Which brings me to why I asked Maki-chan for help..." I sighed as the last customers of rush hour waddled out the door, and scowled slightly at the three idiots in the corner booth throwing tempura fries at each other, Amaki chiding them good-heartedly. Lowering my head, I admitted reluctantly, "...There's been, a disturbing development in my sleep that causes me great distress whenever I have dreams. I don't have time to deal with it properly, as graduation is coming up soon, and Hokage-sama says that if I don't pass, bad things will happen. I've tried changing my diet to things that will keep me awake, but short of carrying around ten packs of straight caffeine with me wherever I go and injecting it directly into my bloodstream, I don't see any way that will help my body function at its usual hundred percent without sleep."

"Well, of course, you're right. The body _needs_ sleep. Anything else is completely unhealthy and will probably cause lasting damage." He agreed, and I drooped with another sigh.

"But...surely someone must've figured out a way around it," I protested weakly. "I mean, I'm pretty sure I've heard of it before—a ninja that doesn't sleep. A story someone told me once…" I wracked my brains for the source of said story, but all I got were flashes of blood, sand, red hair, and hateful, cold blue eyes ringed with deep, purpleish black dark circles. It reeked of nightmares, so I left it alone after a moment, trailing off… "...It _can't_ be impossible."

"Nothing's impossible." The man nodded wisely. "You're right about that too… However, for you…" He shook his head slowly, the great bushy mane of red hair brushing his broad shoulders. "...I have a question for you, Yuka-chan. Are you looking for a temporary solution, or a permanent one?"

That was a hard question to answer.

I figured the truth would probably be best. "...I have a bit of a track record for running away from my problems." I looked at him wearily. "I've sort of figured out that it doesn't work, even if you're a really fast runner...but I'm still a coward." I shook my head, trying to explain. "But you have to understand...these nightmares have been following me around ever since I was little. I quit the academy after one year because they suddenly got worse. Now, again...they're on a whole new level of brutal, and this time...I can't just quit. It's not an option. I have to find some way to keep moving forward." I closed my eyes, then opened them again quickly as two holes in a festival mask stared back at me. "To answer your question, yes. I'd like nothing more than an easy, permanent solution. But the best solution, to get rid of the nightmares for good...probably won't have the word 'easy' anywhere in its definition. So for right now...all I can ask for is something temporary in order to keep going...even if it's not the best, _or_ the most long lasting solution." I sighed again. "I understand if you can't help me. I wouldn't want any of your clan's secrets to become compromised because of a coward like me."

I was about to turn away, but was stopped by a hand the size of a dinner plate clapping down on my shoulder, and nearly making my knees buckle. "I don't think you're a coward. But maybe you give up on yourself too easily." He went on to tell me, "You seem like a good kid. So I'll help you as long as you can agree to a couple of conditions."

Again, I got that mild feeling that I was agreeing to a devil's deal, but Chouza seemed kinder than the Hokage, so I murmured quietly, "What kind of conditions…?"

He reached back into a pack secured to his hip and extracted several round, orange capsules, counting them carefully before placing them securely in my hand. "Take these every time you start to feel tired, but never twice in the same day. My first condition is that once you run out of them, you replace a temporary solution with a permanent one, and never ask me for help again. As for the second condition…" His serious expression slowly morphed into a grin, "write down all your secret recipes for me and come on back to Yakiniku-Q when you get some time off!"

I stared down at the pills in my hand for a second in disbelief. It may be temporary, but the end to the nightmares was now literally lying directly in the palm of my hand. And that was enough to make me blow my character straight out of the park and I actually attempted to present Chouza with a back breaking hug. Then again, I say 'attempt,' because it didn't really work, seeing as how it was like trying to hug a giant Shodaime tree—my arms didn't go all the way around. And I probably would've started crying out of pure joy if it weren't for the lingering shreds of dignity I still clung to. Even so, Chouza would probably have my undying loyalty for all eternity. As for giving up all my prized recipes, that was pretty much a given, and I even wrote them all down on napkins for him happily before I left, waving a cheerful goodbye to Amaki, and dragging the three stooges behind me. I wasn't even pissed off at them anymore, and all was right with the world...until Konohamaru opened his mouth.

"Hey. Are you the Boss's girlfriend?"

I stared at him. What a bizarre question. "...What _Boss_ are you talking about?"

"You _know_," He waved his hand as if it should be obvious. "Naruto-nii-chan!"

I think my eye twitched just a bit. "...No. Never. Not in a thousand burning hells. That is wrong on so many fucking levels. Did someone drop you on your head, Kid?"

"My name's not _Kid_, it's—"

"Yeah, yeah," I rolled my eyes, "Konohagaki—or something like that. Here's the thing. I'm not going to remember your name, Kid. It's just not gonna happen, so you should quit your screaming and carrying on, and let's just skip to the end, Kay?" I thought for a second as I scrambled to come up with an appropriate nickname. "Hmmm… Squirt. Not exactly the most original, but it should work."

"Ehh? Hey! My name's not—"

"You should just accept it," Mii-chan sighed, pushing her glasses up on her nose.

"Yeah," Hiro agreed. "at least it's better than 'Sparky.'"

"And you don't even want to know where that came from—mmmpf!" Hiro had quickly covered her mouth to prevent the story from being retold.

"Where do you think 'Mousy' came from!?" He retorted, at which point, Mii went into a mode I liked to call 'Killer Mii-chan' and she proceeded to clobber him. I actually took a moment to admire the scenery for a moment, and it was only after Konohamaru got elbowed in the face trying to seperate them that I decided to intervene. I wasn't Naruto. Couldn't have the honorable grandson hurt on my watch. I might actually get in trouble.

Hoisting either kid over a separate shoulder—they were still trying to kill each other—I continued walking without saying a word, except to glance back at Konohamaru, who had a rapidly growing bruise on his cheek, and I called out expectantly, "Well? You coming, Squirt? I ain't got all day."

For some reason, he grinned with that chip-toothed smile of his and scampered after me, blue scarf trailing after him ridiculously. Cute kid. I would say that. Bad habits though. And I could blame Naruto for that. I was going to straighten the two of them out whenever the blond idiot got back. Kids were like impressionable blank slates that became whatever you wrote on them. And sometimes you could do it without even meaning to. For instance, if you say nasty words around a kid, they're inevitably going to repeat what you say to other people—which can be pretty embarrassing, because I tended to be myself without any sort of filter around the orphan kids. It showed in the way Hiro scowled at everyone and had adopted my stubborn cross armed glare. Mii-chan was a little less impressionable, but she still believed every word I said. And why? Because for some unfathomable reason, they respected me. I didn't exactly know why, but maybe it's because I paid attention to them individually, even gave them names. To me, kids were precious. All of them. Even the bratty ones.

When we reached the orphanage, I let Hiro in at once entrance and Mii-chan in at the other. Hopefully they'd get distracted by something else while they made their way through the halls that made up the building in their epic quest to maim one another. At which point I focused my attention on Konohamaru and grumbled, "Come on Squirt. It's getting late. And I'm still not finished with you. We're going to have a talk with the Old Man."

He rolled his eyes. "He won't care."

"Probably not," I agreed, but smirked slowly. "Therefore I will make a big enough stink about it to _make_ him care. Oceans will rise. Cities will fall. That kind of thing."

He stared at me. "You're weird."

"This, coming from the kid who hangs out with Naruto," I retorted, eying his bruise with a bit of a sigh. "And now you're rolling with the orphan gang. You're in the same class, right?" I stopped him, kneeling down to his level and pulling out a pack of ointment from a pack I'd taken to wearing at my hip. Actually, I'd replaced the customary, oversized band shirt entirely with a red and black hoody vest ever since I'd started the academy. My shorts were just fine, and I continued to wear my boots, despite them hindering my speed slightly because I thought they packed a bigger kick, but the extra loose material on my comfy band shirt hung off the shoulder a bit, and tended to get caught on things. So that pretty much equaled the end of that era.

"We're in Iruka-sensei's class… Hey, stop that!" He tried to pull away as I dabbed the ointment onto his cheek.

"No." I denied simply, and held his head to keep him still. "Anyway, I want you to do me a favor."

"What do you want?" He whined, leaning away from the nasty smelling goop.

"Keep an eye on Sparky and Mousy, okay? They obviously can't do it themselves, and I'm going to be graduating soon, so I'm counting on you, okay?" I leveled a serious look at him for a moment, then used the distraction to get a good bit of goopy stuff on his face. "And don't act all Doofy like Naruto! Perverts aren't cool! If you follow in his footsteps, you're going to run into a wall, or more likely someone's fist! Got that, Snotty?"

He tried to wipe the goopy stuff off, but only succeeded in rubbing it in more, which suited the purpose just fine. "Ugh! Hey! I thought you decided on 'Squirt!'"

I shrugged. "I like Snotty better. It suits you."

"_Why you_—" He attempted to attack me, but that plan sort of backfired on him when he tripped over his scarf and landed on his face. Geez, I was going to run out of ointment by the time I was finished with this kid…

"Why do you wear that thing?" I pointed to it. "Seems kind of pointless for a ninja."

"It was my dad's!" He defended sharply, and instead of cruelly pointing out that tripping over it was probably what killed him in the first place, I didn't say anything at all for a long moment.

"Well...at least wear it properly so you don't damage it." I reached out and readjusted it, wrapping the overly long bit around his head a little more so it came off as a half mask like thing. In the end, the effect was actually kind of cool. "Hey, what do you know? You almost sort of look like a ninja... Now you just need lose the underwear thing."

"It's _not_ underwear, it's a _helmet_!" He insisted, even though it was clearly underwear.

"It looks lame," I pointed out.

"No it doesn't!"

"Dude...it totally does."

"You got any better ideas!?"

I tapped my chin thoughtfully for a second before a metaphorical light bulb popped on in my head, and I removed the bandana holding back my ridiculous cowlicks. I then disposed of the underwear thing by flicking it like a slingshot into a nearby ally—an enraged feline yowled at us—and tied the black bandana around his head securely. "There. That makes everything look better."

He was staring at me though. "...What's up with your hair?"

"...They're my ears." I decided to mess with him. "I'm actually part cat."

"No you're not!" he protested, though he sounded unsure. "That-that's genetically—" He stumbled over the big word. "—impossible!"

"Oh yeah?" I challenged with an amused curl to my lips. This is where I always got them. "Wanna bet? Why don't you take a look at my eyes?"

I had mild coloboma in both of them. It made the pupil look somewhat off center and almost as if it were spilling out into the rest of the iris—nearly feline if it happened to be in just the right spot. In my case, the result was a little bit more than eerie if you looked close enough; my eyes always took on a bizarre animalistic glare in the rare photos I was caught in. Mom was the same. Amazingly, despite the defect, I could still see just fine. I used to hate it when I was a kid, but came to enjoy being different at some point. Especially when when it meant I could effectively fuck with people's heads about it.

"Why is it that my grandson is utterly convinced one of your ancestors is a feline?" The Old Man inquired idly as he handed me a cup of Oolong tea. Naturally, I abused the offered sugar container on the center of the antique coffee table without apology or restraint. It was a credit to his ingrained experience in dealing with much more outlandish habits that he didn't react with the gag reflex most people—including Sasuke—seemed to favor.

I simply shrugged. "You've got yourself one weird kid, Sandaime-sama. Don't look at me. I'm not the one who contributed to his special part of the gene pool." I used the opportunity to breach the subject I'd come to discuss. "Speaking of which, are you aware he's been sneaking into the porn section with Naruto? Normally, I wouldn't care—he's your problem, not mine—but the bad habit has spread to this little pain in my ass called Hiro-kun, and he's started showing an interest in his fellow classmate's _panties_... She's expressed a disire to learn how to project killing intent so as to dicourage this behavior, though it may be a bit early for her. So I decided that getting down to the root of the problem would diffuse it just as effectively."

He blinked once with a pause before straight up laughing at me. And it only grew in volume when I stared at him in stony, indignant silence. Finally, it died down and he shook his head, "Sorry, sorry... It's just that I never expected _you_ of all people to come to me with a problem like this."

"Well I'm sure it's a lot less troublesome than the usual problems I bring you." I seethed, but kept my tone light. "You should be grateful."

He laughed again, coughing a bit as he choked on his pipe smoke. "I'm more wary than I am relieved. Knowing you, there's bound to be something nasty in store just around the corner. First it was the Aviary. Not an hour later, it was vandalizing public property. What will it be next? Burning down the Academy? Storming the ANBU headquarters?"

"Geez, you make me sound worse than Naruto..." I complained. _Those_ weren't scheduled for a while yet...

"Naruto's a handful, but at least I know what to expect." I stared at him flatly until he admitted the key point, "Most of the time..."

"...Right," I replied dubiously. "Well, I guess I'm going to get right down to it then. In addition to dealing with the issue of your prodigiously deviant offspring, I have one more request."

His face took on a watchful look, and he replied warily, "...What is it?"

I grinned.

"On the condition of my graduation...I want _Akimichi Chouza_ to be my sensei."

* * *

Yangetsu was beyond sore when he came to. He was in miserable, torturous agony, every time the one carrying him jostled—purposely, no doubt—with the uneven dips and ruts in the old back road they'd decided to traverse. It was all he could do not to howl like a wounded dog every time his injuries were agitated (on purpose!) but he clenched his jaw tightly and didn't let a single sound—not a single whisper of weakness—passed his chapped lips. He wouldn't give the traitorous bastard the satisfaction.

As it was, he was most certainly in pain, but that seemed to be the extent of the damage. Nothing felt majorly broken besides maybe a couple of cracked ribs from that freaky-haired Konoha jounin, and he'd had worse before. Nothing vital, otherwise he woulda been long dead by this point. However, there had been no attempt to dress the injury, or prevent infection—no doubt courtesy of Hangetsu the devil. They didn't call him that for no reason. And he might've looked like, even _acted_ like an angel some of the time, but Yangetsu knew the truth about his brother. Hangetsu had long been enthralled in a rather vile and perverse love affair with _pain_. Sexual preference be damned—this was on a whole other level of unnatural.

Hangetsu had always been that way. He took to Shinobi life like bread took to butter, like a fish took to water, and he'd been swimming with the sharks like he owned the entire ocean ever since. Yangetsu...was very different from Hangetsu. Their father had always made that _painfully_ apparent...

His brother hadn't seemed to notice he was awake. Though any chance of escape would have to wait until they stopped, or until Hangetsu's canteen ran out. Yangetsu smirked at the memory. Hangetsu looked like a dried up rason the last time that happened. It was hilarious. The drawback was one of the major reasons he was thankful that he took more after his father's genes, though it was inevitably seen as a flaw in his eyes. Yangetsu didn't care. He'd seen his dad fight, and that meant he was perfectly capable of being just as powerful without the help of a Bloodline like Haku _nee-chan_, or the stupid hydrification technique Hangetsu was so proud of. None of it mattered. What mattered was _completing the mission_.

Unbidden, the voice of the freaky-haired jounin called back to them. "Alright kiddies. Time to set up camp. Split up and report back if you find a good spot. Hangetsu-kun? Tazuna-san? You're with me."

"Hey, hey, Sasu_ke_! You jerkface!" The obnoxious blonde shouted deafeningly to his indifferent teammate with an obvious challenge. "I'll find a campsite and be back sooner than you can wipe your smelly ass!"

It was the same thing over, and over, _and over_... like clockwork. First, the raging tactless idiot, Naruto, would initiate a contest of sorts with the emotionally useless idiot, Sasuke.

"NARUTO!" _WHAM_! And then the hormonal female idiot, Yangetsu hadn't caught her name yet, would retaliate in place of the object of her admiration—usually with violence. "Sasuke-kun doesn't _smell_!" And threats of more. "Keep it up, and I'll personally show you what it's like to have your head shoved—"

He tuned the rest of it out. Despite the part of the berserk killer he played in Hangetsu's act—designed to distract and mislead opponents—being the polar opposite of his older brother, Yangetsu didn't particularly _enjoy_ partaking in mindless acts of violence or pointless slaughter, and normally made a point to remove himself from the situation if at all possible. Though with these three...he really felt like making an exception, if only to shut them up.

The Sasuke kid didn't really hold much of Yangetsu's interest, other than the fact that he was obviously cut from completely different stuff than his teammates. And the jounin was well...a jounin. But Yangetsu had taken on jounin level Shinobi before and won. So this one was obviously either a cut above what was considered normal...or all the other jounin Yangetsu had faced were _pussies_... Maybe he'd been running on pure luck until now. He couldn't exactly say he hadn't gotten out of some of those fights by _the skin of his teeth_. But still, he'd never felt so outclassed by an opponent that wasn't related to him, or Haku-nee-chan. And as he gritted his teeth against the pain, cursing the jounin, among all the things he blamed for landing him in the place he was now—slung over Hangetsu's shoulder like a _dead animal_—a somewhat terrifying thought occurred to him... What if _all_ Konoha jounin were freaks of nature?

The girl came back first, leading them to a campsite not too far from a babbling stream. At which point Hangetsu dropped him unceremoniously and stretched with a nonchalant air about him, heading off and speaking through a yawn, "Well, that's where I'll be. Anyone else need their canteens filled?"

"...Not by _you_," the girl muttered under her breath. Yangetsu could only hear her because she was standing not too far from him, and couldn't help thinking that it was the first intelligent thing she'd said thus far.

The jounin on the other hand, seemed far too polite in contrast. "No thank you, Hangetsu-kun. Though it was very nice of you to offer."

The boy yawned again. "Suit yourself. Keep an eye on _that_. If he wakes up, hit him a couple of times until he's out cold again." He nodded to the girl with a false smile of confidence. "You're pretty good at that, Sakura-chan. I'm trusting ya~"

Yangetsu could hear her muttering all the violent things she wished she could do to the condescending bastard, and made a note that she may have had a split personality, though he wasn't sure which one was the real one...which made him nervous. He heard her walk over to him while the jounin spoke with the old man, and was surprised to feel a gentle hand on his forehead. "...Hey. I know you're awake."

His eyes snapped open and regarded her warily. "...Are you going to hit me?"

"No…" He didn't believe her. "But only because I don't want to listen to that jerk…" She scowled, but her eyes moved to examine his hurt shoulder and she pointed out, "Besides, you're already injured..."

Yangetsu tried to play on her sympathies, and maybe their shared dislike for his brother. "Ya know what would _really_ piss him off…? Patching me up. The only reason he hasn't yet is because he gets sadistic pleasure out of it."

"That's sick!" she hissed.

"It is," he agreed with a frown. "At least I follow my mission. I honor my shinobi way. The same can't be said for Hangetsu. Ya never know what he'll do… He can't be trusted."

She frowned. "Well...he does have one thing right. And I don't have any reason to lie to you about it. Hanako-san _is_ alive."

"Heh…" His laugh sounded like a cough, and carried more than a little skepticism. "Ya know what? Even if you _were _telling the truth, Hangetsu is the _last _person to act all sentimental about it… He's got another agenda. I'm sure of it."

She sent a somewhat disgusted look towards where the other boy had disappeared, but didn't exactly seem surprised. "Just what kind of...'agenda'...do you think he's got?"

Yangetsu scowled. "He _hated_ Mom. Mission be damned… I don't know _what_ he's planning, but whatever it is...it ain't going to be good. If I were you, I…" He eyed her properly for the first time, and had to stare for a second before schooling his features, but rethinking the cruel words he had been about to say. "...I wouldn't _sleep_ until I had a surefire method of getting the hell outta here. Seriously. If ya get the chance..._run._ You don't wanna be here when the shit hits the fan."

She frowned, as if offended for a second, but after a moment seemed to realize the piece of advice for what it was. She then grumbled out, "...We're enemies. Why are you being _nice_ to me?"

"Well," he explained, "right now, I can't move... I'm at your mercy, Sakura-chan." The corner of his lips upturned in his signature charmful grin. "...You're also the prettiest girl I've ever seen. I don't care about the others, but I'd be really pissed off if _you_ got killed because of that guy… Hey...maybe if you untie me, we could—"

_BAM!_ And just like that, he knew what it was like to be that poor Naruto kid. "Don't even _try_ to get fresh with me, you...you…" Her face was bright blush red. "...you—IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN, OKAY?!"

He groaned weakly from where his head had collided with the ground. A good sized lump had joined his other injuries. "...I was _only_ gonna ask if you wanted to help me murder him in his sleep."

She glowered at him, her face still burning and her fist, trembling, as if it was still itching to hit something. For a horrible second, a somewhat terrifying image of his mother ghosted over the girl and Yangetsu felt his skin go a little pale. The similarity was sort of eerie.

"Mah, Sakura-kun…" her sensei called over lazily. "Stop abusing the prisoner. There are rules about that sort of thing."

She sent an anxious look back over her shoulder at the jounin, but when she turned back to look down at him, her lips were curled into a disdainful scowl...and he couldn't help but think it was kind of...beautiful. She looked like she was about to hit him again, and felt a wave of...'something'—was that _disappointment_?—when she just stomped away across the clearing instead. He sighed heavily, but inexplicably felt hope swelling in his aching chest once again when she stomped back over after rummaging around for something in her pack… For some reason, he kept picturing her wielding a whip…or maybe chains? He didn't quite understand just why he found this thought so appealing…

But when she pulled the lapel of his vest aside, and started administering cooling, mint-scented ointment to the inflamed wound from Nuibari...he found that maybe this wasn't such a bad thought either. Her lovely pale green eyes flashed at him dangerously though—the _thrill_ it caused as a byproduct was somewhat troubling—and she was sure to make it _very _clear, "I'm not doing this because I like you, okay? I'm doing it because I _hate_ that guy."

"Oh," he replied, quick, and maybe a little bit _too_ eager to point out, "_I_ hate him too. We've got a lot in common—that's pretty cool, huh? What _else_ do you hate, Sakura-cha—"

"I am _not_ answering that," She grated out, not exactly being particularly _gentle_ with her bandage wrapping. Yangetsu didn't really mind too much though… In fact—

His wandering thoughts of Sakura in a skintight black leather suit were unceremoniously interrupted by the chilling, and utterly cringe-worthy sound of metal screeching on metal...

* * *

**Yeah... Gotta say, this is _not_ my favorite chapter of this story. **

**Plus it's a week late, so I feel guilty on top of it. If I had more time, I would've tweaked with it more. And I probably will. So I'll let you guys know when that happens.**

**As for my beef with this chapter—holy SHIT, a wild Chouza appeared! How in the hell did he get into my story? And when did he become a pill pusher? Not that I really mind—Chouza is a beastly beast, and I sort of have a mad crush on him—but it just seemed kind of...um...random? Anyway, other issues: Ami really sucks at bullying. **

**Also, Yangetsu and Hangetsu...are seriously messed up.**

**Anyone else agree?**

**(In case you missed it, that was your cue.)**


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